Discussion Reasons you want to die?

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

I have many reasons tbh.

-depression
-feeling useless
-trauma
-my past
-guilt, lot's of guilt
-life feels empty and meaningless to me
-tired of people (This one is a little on and off though)

 

[cassie]

i guess the classic "escape the pain"
otherwise i wouldnt press the matter (:

 

[Peace2peace]

A rare form of cancer

 

[Pseudo_existence]

I'm similar to you on that front. A narcissistic, homophobic mother with helicopter parent tendencies did a number to my self confidence and love for myself. Pair that up with an absentee father, an undiagnosed but likely personality disorder of bpd and I'm surprised I've held up together for this long, very much bursting at the seams though lmfao. Definitely have bouts of suicidal ideation but mostly passive, they've come and go and in different intensities as well. But realizing that I'm the common denominator behind all my close relationships crashing and burning fucked me up good. All I have left is my gf and I feel like it's just a matter of time before I fumble her too. I know about the whole psychological phenomenon of fulfilling a self defeating prophecy but it's like nothing I do matters. I strived my damn hardest last year to improve myself, I hit the gym, lost a shit ton of weight, crushed it at work, and tried to win the approval over my family that I can handle myself and that I am deserving of independence. And despite all of that my mother could not find it in herself to approve of me traveling alone, or fly solo to a work conference that would benefit my career. I just feel trapped. And because of that it felt like all that improvement doesn't fucking matter if I'm under her thumb. I didn't even have a sense of self pride that I did all that. Who would've thought that being coddled like you're 5 years old would feel like you're being strangled to death. I don't even have full control over my bank accounts.
So now I'm just watching my friendships fizzle out as well as the connections I had to family, and seeing how long the desire to ctb overides my desire to carry on.

 

[UglyLife82]

There is absolutely zero pleasant or beautiful in my life, and I don't want to continue in an existence so ugly

 

[WatchmeBurn]

Because I am unhappy.

Because I don't believe I will ever be happy.

Because I'm not good enough to make a meaningful positive difference to the world.

 

[wanttodie]

sick of life sick of living hate my life want my life to end don't want to live any more

 

[seaquake]

I can't stand the family fights/scars. I'm doomed to underemployment and a shitty future, anyway. I want peace.

When I was a child, I saw my father beat my third youngest brother when he was a newborn. He was always aggressive. For the past few years, he has been trying to get back on his feet, and even though I have moved away, I think he must suffer for the rest of his life. I don't think he has the right to lay his head on the pillow and sleep peacefully. And I know how horrible my death would be for him, even though I have moved away.

 

[sximii]

The biggest thing being BPD, which means I'm chronically suicidal. Also autism. In combo, my brain is hardwired to always feel like shit

 

[Luke77]

I can't get a girlfriend

 

[LittleNelson]

I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for 20 years. Basically I fail at everything at I do - college, career, relationships. I had a great family at one point but they want nothing to do with me anymore. I'm broke and alone in the world. There's nothing left for me.

 

[SolitudeMan]

I don't see the point of living life.
What's the end goal?
We all die anyway so why not now.

 

[ham and potatoes]

I don't know that I have one reason.
Awful anxiety, depression, and just that my life isn't that great.
I feel like a better question is, why do I want to live?
And the answer to that is just so I don't hurt my family.....

 

[areyousafe??]

I have come to the realisation that I'm not strong enough for life. I'm not strong enough to keep going, and there is no hopeful future ahead of me because I am inherently defective.

I'm just tired.

 

[LoveandCerulean]

Abusive parents gave me lifelong trauma that I feel has done irreparable damage.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

A really fun combo of childhood trauma + genetic disposition to depression + my boyfriend's death (I can't shake the insistent thought that it was my fault. He essentially blamed me in his note). Take any one of those things out and I reckon I would've had a good shot at life, but it's a pretty lethal trio.

 

[imsotired005]

Because theres nothing left for me here. Ive destroyed mostly everything in my life. Unemployed, friendless, psychologically tortured to be here. in physical pain every. single. day.

 

[CravingPeace]

No reason to continue living. Through living I prolong my own suffering. For what purpose?

This is beautiful and encapsulates how I feel. I'm writing this down. Thank you