Recovery Partners Megathread

[trs]

Hi, I'm T.
I'm middle aged and looking to connect with others around this age or a bit younger or a bit older, or those who may be younger and feel that they fit in with people who were born several years (or decades) before they were.
I'd really like to connect with people who may feel they had at one point been driven to think about or try to commit suicide because of a horrible change in life circumstances which suddenly occurred later in life and/or who have very severe physical issues which unexpectedly got worse later in life.
My greatest interest is the intersection of spirituality and the unseen with our physical lives and with the death experience. I like to focus discussing these issues as a way to expand consciousness and give greater perspective to life and death, and to try to mitigate the tremendous suffering and angst inherent in suddenly or progressively worsening physical issues or life circumstances and the uncertainty and angst involved in death, and the death and crossing over process, and life on the other side.
I find focusing on these things helps distract me from suffering, gives me some sense of meaning (via expanding my consciousness) in the otherwise emptiness of how life is now, and gives me a sense of helping to expand other people's consciousness by sharing what I know.
I positively acknowledge everyone who is trying to continue forward in the face of very difficult, traumatic circumstances, and who choose to focus on there being a return to home and peace at the end of the journey instead of hoping there will be nothing at the end of life.
Please reply or message me if you can relate.
Best to you,
T.

34F from the Bay Area, California here. Looking for local people to hang out and discuss mental health issues. Perhaps sitting in the park and chatting about our struggles... it would be good for me to go outside more. Gender and age do not matter. I don't have many hobbies or interests left due to how severe my depression is. I basically just binge TV shows/movies in between work and sleep, that's about it for right now.

I'm in the opposite end of the state, but if I was in your end I'd be happy to go outside too, as I agree about how important that is.

 

[trs]

Not sure if I have the living in me, but I know right now I don't have the dying in me. So since I'm stuck here for until my life gets worse again, I wouldn't mind a solution to my crippling isolation. I do still want to live though, I just don't see how its going to work out. But I think if there's one thing that might help, it would be someone I can connect with. So.. anyone wanna be my friend?

I'm a 31yo Trans Woman from the Mid Atlantic region of USA. I'm disabled with Crohn's Disease, Tendinitis, and various mental disabilities. I come from a very toxic family and that has affected me in a lot of ways. I've never really been able to connect with anyone so I don't even know if this will work, but I need someone in my life. I'm more-or-less friendly, but I am very distant, and tend to worry too much about bothering other people. I want to work on these things but I just wanted to be upfront about it.

I like cycling, math rock, alt/indie Japanese music, smoking weed, Warhammer, Old School RuneScape, animals, cuddles, baking, and coming up with elaborate ideas for things in my head.

I'd love someone that likes to talk a lot. My brain is on fire and I would love someone to listen to until the flames stop. I'd like to watch TV/Movies together. I'm up to play any games my Tendinitis allows (like OSRS), but I'm also up to watch you play videos games. I'd love someone to share music with. I've been waiting my whole life for someone to share my ideas for stories and things with. And I'd like someone to care for, and be cared for by.

Also I'd really like someone who identifies as at least a little "trashy". I spent my childhood looking at porn. My adulthood doing drugs. And for most of my life I was taught toxic=good. I feel a lot more comfortable around people that are a little 'rough around the edges', not to reinforce any of that toxicity, but just to have someone that I can relate to with it.

Ultimately... I've never gotten close to anyone before.. but I'd really like to learn how, if anyone wants to be a part of that.

DM me if you're interested in a chat or a playdate!

@trashprincess just want to say I like how you put this "Not sure if I have the living in me, but I know right now I don't have the dying in me." I've found myself in the exact same place.

 

[pain6batch9]

If you throw out a line, I'll reply, but be patient because the OCD has to work through its cycle first. There's a crass joke about looking for someone more messed up than me, but having thought about it, I won't make that comparison. Instead, just think of your finger as a finger, and my mind as a jar of that slime you used to play with as a kid.

 

[nembutal]

21 NYC. still feeding my survival instinct although i am drafting notes more than usual. i have a heroin addiction and an abusive family. i am a SW. most of my reasoning stems from illogical BPD nonsense but i truly have no one to speak to most days.

i like anime, dumpster diving/illegalism, "street" fashion, furries, my little pony, doodling. currently numbing with my letterboxd film watchlist and podcasts like swindled and lpotl. i have a cat named juju.

i am interested in speaking to someone that has the capacity to view suicide from a critical standpoint and can acknowledge its cons. i try to approach my reasoning for suicide from a bystanders perspective in an attempt to understand where the kinks of my logic are found in order to help myself recover. please no hardcore antinatalists or those with a victim mentality.

 

[La Lorona]

Hellooooooooooo everyone. Since I've decided to try to focus mostly on recovery I was wondering if there is someone out there who's also focused on that and maybe wants to share our achievements/daily happenings with each other? I'd love to make a friend :) I'm 19F and you can call me dirt for now! We can talk about anything honestly. I personally like creativity, spirituality, watching movies, spending time around animals and cooking. I'm trying to get more into other interests/hobbies so if you have a niche interest please tell me about it! ))

Hi I'd like to meet you to talk about recovery and stuff, I think we have similar interests You can contact me in private chat

 

[pone]

19M

Looking for a recovery partner, preferably similar in age (18-25), sadly i don't have much free time, but i"ll try my best to answer at least within a day, we can talk about hobbies, mangas, and games too.

I like to know about others so please feel free to pm and talk with me.

 

[sesamecat]

hullo i'm 24, genderfluid and queer, just looking for friends and people to talk to who share similar experiences.

feeling hopeless and the friends in my life are people who i am eternally grateful for but perhaps do not understand my struggles as deeply as i would like.

 

[Ms.Melancholy]

20 AMAB NB / MtF, from Romania

Looking for anyone around my age (<25) to talk and listen to, preferably someone also queer.

I used to like gaming, cycling, working out, 3D art, among other stuff. In the process of rediscovering myself and my interests.

PM for discord, we can talk about anything and take it from there.

 

[Glenferd666]

20 AMAB NB / MtF, from Romania

Looking for anyone around my age (<25) to talk and listen to, preferably someone also queer.

I used to like gaming, cycling, working out, 3D art, among other stuff. In the process of rediscovering myself and my interests.

PM for discord, we can talk about anything and take it from there.

You got pms closed

 

[BlackCatCrossing]

Hi I'd like to meet you to talk about recovery and stuff, I think we have similar interests You can contact me in private chat

Hi La Lorona I thought I might reach out to you. See if we may be able to connect. About me: I am older (39, F.) so if that's too up there for you no worries! ~
I like what you said about daily accomplishments and check-ins. It's the little things. Interests are: cottage core, interior design, pen pals, spirituality, health, reading, skincare, and more

30's F Ireland, trying so hard to remain positive and hold onto my life. I've been trying to take things day by day - literally hour by hour sometimes. I'd love to chat to anyone to share thoughts, feelings, experiences etc and hopefully we could be a support to each other

30's F Ireland, trying so hard to remain positive and hold onto my life. I've been trying to take things day by day - literally hour by hour sometimes. I'd love to chat to anyone to share thoughts, feelings, experiences etc and hopefully we could be a support to each other

30's, F. California. I'm interested in forming a connection where we have daily accomplishments/check-ins. I am recovering from so much and looking for others to help boost through their day. When functional I enjoy interior design, reading, health, animals and more

Hellooooooooooo everyone. Since I've decided to try to focus mostly on recovery I was wondering if there is someone out there who's also focused on that and maybe wants to share our achievements/daily happenings with each other? I'd love to make a friend :) I'm 19F and you can call me dirt for now! We can talk about anything honestly. I personally like creativity, spirituality, watching movies, spending time around animals and cooking. I'm trying to get more into other interests/hobbies so if you have a niche interest please tell me about it! ))

I have a niche hobby to tell you about that you might enjoy. At the very least I think you will like hearing about it. Also love the idea of daily accomplishments and happenings sharing. I'm 39 F. from CA if you want to reach out.

 

[cantwaittodie]

Anyone wants to be my recovery partner?

 

[amnesia999]

What I'm looking for is a long shot, I'm interested in somebody I could actually meet IRL for a beer or a coffee after work and talk to. Or do stuff on the weekend. I know that's a hard ask to make. I'd want to know that anybody who did this was able to be trusted, and I'm sure it would be the same the other way around. But it doesn't hurt to ask. It could certainly start as messaging back and forth.

Male, 60, Pacific Northwest, USA.

 

[itswhatits]

26M

Been fighting this shit for the past 10 years, can't do it alone anymore, burnt out most of my family and friends, to where they don't really want to help me with my shit anymore. Probably autistic? Everybody insists I come off that way. idk.

 

[mango-meridian]

I'm looking for someone that can be mutually supportive with me not just in recovering but also in building actual happiness and meaning. Help me to remember what my goals are and why I care about them and I will do the same for you!

To be clear, I want platonic relationships/intimacy only. I have enough sexual/romantic trauma and don't want to risk getting any more of that right now. I'm a trans woman from Western USA and if we happen to live nearby I am open to meeting up as well. I like in-person the best but online is great too.

Thanks!

 

[becfr0g]

Im 18F from the UK who has only a few GCSEs, no ALevels. My friends and sister have all left to go to university, and i am left behind with suicidal thoughts but the intention to continue living.

Ive figured out that i need to do something to make this life tolerable, which led me to needing a decently interesting job with good pay, and im not yet decided but im leaning towards forensic sciences or forensic psychology, as i am a little fascinated by all that. I know itll be a long road to get there, but right now im in a ditch next to a dumpster, 50 miles away from any roads.

What im looking for is anybody from the UK who is either going through the sameish thing with the whole a levels thing, or who can be a solid presence in my life (online or in person) who can just be there with me.

This post is all self centered but know that i also want to help somebody else, i want to work together and help each other. I want to be there for someone just as someone is there for me.

Please reach out if you are interested OR if you arent interested but have any advice or comments or anything at all, this is all in the idea stage still! Thanks

 

[unwellalways]

Hi, 23F, Gothenburg, Sweden

still on the fence about the whole life and death thing. my life fell apart this past year due to psychosis. relatively im doing well and im studying a bit and have friends and trying to live a life. I think im looking to feel less alone, maybe there's someone from the same city on here? Also, i have a long term relationship of many years so please don't be weird

 

[lifeundersiege]

Hello. 40s, male, Detroit. I am athletic, handsome and intelligent. None of that means anything, just descriptors; they mean nothing to me in reality. I am father of two daughters of whom I do not have custody from a marriage to an alcoholic sociopath. I have had PTSD since I was a kid. For me, death was always an option and still is. After losing my children and everything that came with them, I no longer serve any useful purpose. I care for my daughters and love them, but they are in a world I am not a part of anymore.

I am still here for lack of a better idea. I already have a plan, so there is no rush.

I would be interested in meeting women to see if there is any reason to stay around. Knowing that the connection I felt with my ex wife was never reciprocated, I don't really know what a true connection is. I just wanted to know if I am completely dead inside. I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to prop up the World Trade Center with 2x4s. It feels like it. Anyway, thank you.

 

[AwakeTooLong]

Hello, I'm 22M and have been a lurker on here for a while, mostly gathering information on different methods.

Now that I've ordered SN and meto and stand on the edge of CTB, I feel a strange clarity. My life is undeniably a mess, and that much I'm sure of. Yet, there's a small part of me that wonders if things could still change, however unlikely it seems.

I'm not certain I'm looking for a recovery partner, but I felt like putting this out there in the hopes of connecting with someone in a similar situation, someone I could relate to as we exchange our struggles. Please feel free to PM me if you think this might be you.

 

[_next.next213]

18M from the UK. I'd like to make friends to help get better with. I would prefer it if it was somebody also in the UK, but I don't really mind. Please DM me if you'd like to talk, even just for a little while.

 

[johann_liebert]

24M from Germany

Bored and lonely. If your as bored and lonely as me, we might be good fits xD

Would prefer if your around my age.

 

[Hecubaa]

26NB (fem-presenting) here!

I really, really want to get better. I'm looking for someone who would be willing to listen and engage with me on a daily basis. I would like to share my thoughts and experiences throughout the day with somebody and am happy to listen to the other person do the same. I am looking for support and to offer support. Ideally, I'd like a recovery partner who can engage often. I like animals and games of all kinds and am very liberal. Please don't contact me if you are conservative, judgmental, don't love animals, or have issues with someone talking a lot about alcohol use(no judgment there -- I just don't want to be a trigger.) Also, do not contact me if you are looking for somebody to have a romantic/sexual connection with -- that should go unsaid and I imagine it would be against the forum's rules, but I want to mention it because I already experience it due to my line of work and have no interest in it.

 

[Artemus]

24 M Egypt.
Looking for recovery partner, any age, any gender.

Can u pm me

 

[SnowLeopard21]

29M in Wisconsin. Don't care who you are, just want someone to talk to once in a while. I have Discord and Telegram. Not interested in anything romantic even if I was capable of it.

 

[aespa]

Just looking for friends or somebody I can talk to, hmu. :)
I prefer If you are 18-29 years old.
19F EST USA

 

[CallmeWill4719]

I just found this so I thought I would try it I'm also in the friendship thread. I'm a male 28 bi from the USA. I Lost someone dearly to me recently and I met him on here and while we had such wonderful moments, it taught me a hard lesson that there is a reason why we are all here and it's important to make boundaries. Even if you have to force someone to sort of make that boundary for yourself because it's very difficult to have them in the first place. I get attached very easily. I don't know, friend or something more I'm open to both. I just get so alone. I would love to tell someone about him, he did a horrible thing but I hope he's at peace but I just feel like he can live on in some way but I know that's not the other person's responsibility to bear that whole thing. Like I said I have mental stuff so I don't know I'm just looking for anybody interested in a friend.

But anyway as far as me goes, I'm very introverted I like my video games and I read a little bit I have a lot of work drama going on maybe you can relate maybe not but other than that I mean I've been told I'm a very good person and a good listener. I don't know if I can get attached anymore but I will try but to a point.

29M in Wisconsin. Don't care who you are, just want someone to talk to once in a while. I have Discord and Telegram. Not interested in anything romantic even if I was capable of it.

That might be for the best. I'm on telegram as well. If you need a friend I'm here :)

24M from Germany

Bored and lonely. If your as bored and lonely as me, we might be good fits xD

Would prefer if your around my age.

Very much of both actually. 28-year-old male USA :) in case you found somebody let me know but I'm here.

 

[Salkak]

25 F India.
Would like to connect with anyone in similar age group that maybe wanna try recovery or even someone to just talk to.
DM to connect

 

[voir2]

40 M France
I can speak english and french

 

[Ah.ow]

I'm Persie. I'm a 30 year old woman and this is my last ditch attempt to live.

---

I almost died during my mother's pregnancy due to her unsuccessful attempts to abort me. My subsequent survival of an emergency, premature birth was considered a "miracle." I was born on the brink of death, with my intestines growing outside of my body and with brain damage that would later lead to a diagnosis of an incurable disability.

The few photos I have seen of myself post-birth show a tiny, fragile little being, mottled in shades of red and blue and barely conscious. I could fit neatly, like a wounded bird, in someone's hand.

I am one of those people that, based on probabilities, should have died. Most newborn babies in my position die, if they are ever born at all. Instead, with these many odds stacked against me, I lived. I not only regularly wished I hadn't been born, a cruel twist is that I wasn't meant to be here. I have felt that sense of not belonging - like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit - for my entire life. I was not only unwanted, but so very close to death when I was cut from my mother's womb and rescued.

Since that day, I experienced abuse and terror that words do no justice to articulate. I was physically abused, sexually abused, tortured, forced to witness extreme violence, forced to witness animal cruelty, exposed to death and so much more.

I am sharing this because it is important to understand that suicidality has been a prominent part of my life for a very, very long time. The thoughts began at the age of 4. The intent began at age 9. I have tried to take my life through several different stages, at different ages. In an existence seemingly consisting of relentless suffering with no-one to turn to, suicide was like a friend with their hand on my shoulder, assuring me that they can make all of this agony, all of this abuse, all of these bleak series of events simply vanish.

My life never felt like a "miracle." I never felt "saved." I felt broken and cursed and damaged.

---

This is my final attempt to find some semblance of healing. I will give my very best effort, but cannot promise to succeed, only to try my hardest.

I do not expect to "fully" recover, or to be free from my struggles. Truthfully, "recovery" doesn't feel like the right word for me. I will always have to carry the weight of my traumas on my shoulders. I will always be disabled. I will always be chronically ill. These cannot be cured - I cannot "recover" from these in the same way I recovered from a broken arm as a little girl. However, I would like to learn to manage them, to carry them without being completely crippled by them. I would like to be a better person because of my situation, not in spite of it.

The medication I am currently taking for my chronic illnesses and the progress I have made in my symptoms has instilled some hope that life with these conditions is perhaps possible for me. Not easy, but possible.

If you have read my post to this point, thank you so much for persevering and for giving your time to listen to a part of my story.

---

I am seeking to connect with others who are attempting to improve their lives, particularly those who have also experienced abuse and trauma. This is not a requirement, but I feel those who have endured these things understand one another more deeply, in ways that can never truly be matched by those who haven't experienced repeated abuse and trauma themselves. I am open to listening to your story if you would like to share what you have been through in life, but there is no expectation or pressure to do so.

While light-hearted chatting would be welcome, I am also interested in being able to be transparent about our feelings, our progress, our setbacks and our struggles. I am not seeking constant, forced positivity, motivational quotes, platitudes or anti-choice rhetoric. I recognise these may be useful to some, but they are not for me. I want both parties to be able to freely discuss death, suicide and to give ourselves - and each other - permission to fuck up and get lost while navigating this long, complicated journey towards making this life worth living. Let's get lost and - hopefully - find our way together.

All ages, genders, backgrounds and walks of life are very welcome to reach out. I'd much prefer to keep in contact on a different platform if possible (not immediately, but after we have gotten to know each other a little), such as Discord, Telegram or Protonmail, but I'm prepared to talk here too if that's more comfortable for you. My replies will likely be more delayed here because I try to use SS somewhat sparingly.

We can respond to one another at our own pace and create a safe channel of communication where we can chat anytime, support one another, and reply in our more able moments. I will listen and be here to provide nonjudgmental support, no matter what happens or what decision you reach in future.

Feel free to contact me anytime, and we can see if our aspirations, interests and views are aligned (and even if they are not, perhaps we can learn something new from each other).

I wish all of you the very best in your endeavour to improve your lives and I truly hope you all find the companionship and support you deserve. Sending lots of love

I was afraid to post in this thread, but i didn't see another way to respond to you, and I wondered if you were still seeing the site, or if I read your very relatable post too late

also, if others relate to this post too, I'm ok with this post speaking for me

(I'll try to add later the other people who I related to and wondered about talking with, but who i didn't see a way to ask other than responding in thread

 

[olvidame]

28m
currently in recovery
found a job that i like, made some good friends
developed some healthy habits, having trouble shaking some of the unhealthy ones
i want to stay positive, uplifted. my curse is anxiety (generalized and health related)
so if anyone can relate, i'd like to chat, let's help each other out.

 

[CTBsteve]

I'm a 23 m. I'm looking for friends I could possibly play some games with or just chat I'd prefer to dm for a bit to get to know one another and see if we get a long and hopefully we could be friends and maybe be there to talk whenever the other persons not feeling well off. Feel free to message me I may take a little to respond as I work