Resource Self Harm Support Thread

[Mentalmick]

I caved in and cut myself again on Monday night. It was pretty deep and I had to use paper stitches because I ran out of skin staples. It was pretty messy. Fuckers better hold because I ain't going to guilt trip central (A&E). I've got some skin glue but it never seems to work.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I caved in and cut myself again on Monday night. It was pretty deep and I had to use paper stitches because I ran out of skin staples. It was pretty messy. Fuckers better hold because I ain't going to guilt trip central (A&E). I've got some skin glue but it never seems to work.

I'm sorry. I've scraped all my skin off my arm. It's my neck I want to do

 

[Soulless Angel]

I caved in and cut myself again on Monday night. It was pretty deep and I had to use paper stitches because I ran out of skin staples. It was pretty messy. Fuckers better hold because I ain't going to guilt trip central (A&E). I've got some skin glue but it never seems to work.

oooooo, not good, please keep it bandaged or something, make sure it doesn't get infected.

 

[esclava]

I'm glad this was bumped. Checking in as a long time self harmer; started between 6-8 years old and I'm 40 now

 

[ClairyFairy]

I'm 41
I just burned to get rid of horrible sensations. It's worked. Not for my anxiety though

 

[Acopia]

I think I've asked this before - but I'm keen for opinions.
If you cut so deep you need hospital treatment/stitches, would you attend hospital? Or just leave it to heal up naturally?

-A

 

[Mentalmick]

I think I've asked this before - but I'm keen for opinions.
If you cut so deep you need hospital treatment/stitches, would you attend hospital? Or just leave it to heal up naturally?

-A

Been in and out of hospital loads of times. Problem is when you get one of those nurses that puts you on a guilt trip. I avoid hospital like the plague nowadays and just close the cuts using skin staples.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I think I've asked this before - but I'm keen for opinions.
If you cut so deep you need hospital treatment/stitches, would you attend hospital? Or just leave it to heal up naturally?

-A

I have never cut that deep, but if I did manage too, I would prob panic, then think oooo then be like fuck now what...

 

[Bitterman1996]

I don't self harm as a kid and even find the whole concept ridiculous tbh at the time (just couldn't comprehend why). I skin pick wounds but to me it's not self harm.

I did self harmed as a late teen-ager (around 18-19? When I dropped out of uni) mostly head banging and ligh cut, it's never deeper than cat's scratches. I still do it just to feel pain/draw blood. Honestly it's really sad how people had to resort to this to cope with life. I know it isn't much but I really hope you guys could feel less pain throughout all this..

 

[ClairyFairy]

I think I've asked this before - but I'm keen for opinions.
If you cut so deep you need hospital treatment/stitches, would you attend hospital? Or just leave it to heal up naturally?

-A

I panic when I see inside to bone or I can see threads hanging on or other stuff I shouldn't be seeing. I'll go the hospital then. Burned skin doesn't seem to go that well on its own so I dunno what to do now with this.

 

[Acopia]

Been in and out of hospital loads of times. Problem is when you get one of those nurses that puts you on a guilt trip. I avoid hospital like the plague nowadays and just close the cuts using skin staples.

Ooh this interests me.. so my situation is that I slowly got deeper over time, then earlier in the year ended up in A&E as I needed staples. They did it, and tbf they were lovely but my problem is I now work in that hospital - and having repeated A&E visits for staples/stitches is quite risky. So I'm in a predicament where I'm having horrendous urges, but the thought of having to go to A&E is terrifying, so if/when I do cut again I'm sort of exploring the possibility of just leaving them to self heal - but I reeaally don't think it's viable (as I say, I work in a hospital, they'd probably get infected no matter how well I looked after them).

I've looked into self-stitching, but in reality I think I'd struggle & it would still run the infection risk as I wouldn't have the proper resources - I have seen on here people who take things from work but that is absolutely, morally not something I'm prepared to do at all.

So may I ask, where do you get a skin stapler from? Self-stapling sounds like the safest option for me by far!

Thanks for sharing your experience!
Peace,
-A

Edit: I've just found loads on ebay! Wow I didn't realise they were so easily available!
Do you get many infections with self-stapling? I suppose it's just the same as having the hospital do it for you.

 

[ClairyFairy]

Can you tell your gp?? I think I'm going to have to tell mine the reason behind what makes me self harm in the 1st place. Maybe then I can catch a break when I'm/now I've done it. I'm seriously broken. I used to think if I worked hard enough on myself then I could be fixed. I don't know anymore

 

[Mentalmick]

Ooh this interests me.. so my situation is that I slowly got deeper over time, then earlier in the year ended up in A&E as I needed staples. They did it, and tbf they were lovely but my problem is I now work in that hospital - and having repeated A&E visits for staples/stitches is quite risky. So I'm in a predicament where I'm having horrendous urges, but the thought of having to go to A&E is terrifying, so if/when I do cut again I'm sort of exploring the possibility of just leaving them to self heal - but I reeaally don't think it's viable (as I say, I work in a hospital, they'd probably get infected no matter how well I looked after them).

I've looked into self-stitching, but in reality I think I'd struggle & it would still run the infection risk as I wouldn't have the proper resources - I have seen on here people who take things from work but that is absolutely, morally not something I'm prepared to do at all.

So may I ask, where do you get a skin stapler from? Self-stapling sounds like the safest option for me by far!

Thanks for sharing your experience!
Peace,
-A

Edit: I've just found loads on ebay! Wow I didn't realise they were so easily available!
Do you get many infections with self-stapling? I suppose it's just the same as having the hospital do it for you.

They're safe out of the box but the more you use the same one the higher the chance of infection. I've only had one infection from them and that's only because I wasn't being careful (one end of a staple went inside the cut). If you are going down the stapler route be sure and get the small removal tool as they're evil to get out without it. Stay safe.

 

[Acopia]

Can you tell your gp?? I think I'm going to have to tell mine the reason behind what makes me self harm in the 1st place. Maybe then I can catch a break when I'm/now I've done it. I'm seriously broken. I used to think if I worked hard enough on myself then I could be fixed. I don't know anymore

That would be the dream! Unfortunately my GPs say that I'm too unwell/complex to be dealt with by them - which I agree with tbf - but as a result they are very reluctant to do anything with me. They repeatedly refer me to the CMHT to receive assistance from the professionals; sadly, the CMHT are of the opinion I'm not quite unwell enough to fall into their catchment, and they end up bouncing me back to the GP.
So sadly I've fallen into the "gutter" of no medical professional taking responsibility for my care. My GPs do what they can, when I get into crisis they prescibe me a few doses of Zopiclone, but that only knocks me out for 12 hours, and when I wake up I tend to be in the same position again. Sometimes after a good Zop sleep I improve for a few days, but it's only a very short term treatment, then I end up back in crisis. All my GP can do is tell me to go to A&E, but as anyone will attest, walking into A&E telling them I need to self harm - there's not actually anything they can do (unless I actually self harm and need medical aid). Seeing psych liaison is a waste of time as they just tell me to go back to the GP.
I'm at the point now where the only person I can rely on is myself.

Mental health services really are dire. I hope you have better luck & find someone who will take some responsibility to help you.

Hugs
-A

 

[ClairyFairy]

That would be the dream! Unfortunately my GPs say that I'm too unwell/complex to be dealt with by them - which I agree with tbf - but as a result they are very reluctant to do anything with me. They repeatedly refer me to the CMHT to receive assistance from the professionals; sadly, the CMHT are of the opinion I'm not quite unwell enough to fall into their catchment, and they end up bouncing me back to the GP.
So sadly I've fallen into the "gutter" of no medical professional taking responsibility for my care. My GPs do what they can, when I get into crisis they prescibe me a few doses of Zopiclone, but that only knocks me out for 12 hours, and when I wake up I tend to be in the same position again. Sometimes after a good Zop sleep I improve for a few days, but it's only a very short term treatment, then I end up back in crisis. All my GP can do is tell me to go to A&E, but as anyone will attest, walking into A&E telling them I need to self harm - there's not actually anything they can do (unless I actually self harm and need medical aid). Seeing psych liaison is a waste of time as they just tell me to go back to the GP.
I'm at the point now where the only person I can rely on is myself.

Mental health services really are dire. I hope you have better luck & find someone who will take some responsibility to help you.

Hugs
-A

I'm sorry that's your experience. Do you have any trauma from the past you haven't dealt with? That's my problem.

The burning now gets rid of physical sensations caused by it. I don't know whether to keep on down the sh ing route or try and curb it.

 

[settheory]

Did that for several months. Did that in moments of high emotional pain, felt quite intense and relieving. Or did i just convince myself of that? Don't remeber why i started doing started doing it, probably at least partially out of curiosity of how it feels. Quitting was surprisingly easy, the desire to do it was reasonably controllable. didn't really have much of an urge to do it since then. Quit some time after i got quite a deep gash, through which i could see the pink stuff. But it would never hurt much. Regret doing that because of how the scars might harm me getting further in life. Have a barely visible vertical scar, because i actually tried to collect some of my blood to take a sip (lol that was so dumb) and maybe also to rehearse wrist cutting method (i was considering it as one of the options, not considering it now).
But i actually like how they look, especially fresh, red, dark, brownish ones, the unhealed and partially healed ones, even (especially?) the ones just cut with fresh blood on them. Looking at photos and drawings people with self-harm scars, the typical ones, the vertical ones on the wrist, maybe some more unusual ones and think, "yeah, they look pretty cool". Maybe i did that partially because of how they look? Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

 

[Acopia]

I'm sorry that's your experience. Do you have any trauma from the past you haven't dealt with? That's my problem.

The burning now gets rid of physical sensations caused by it. I don't know whether to keep on down the sh ing route or try and curb it.

Sadly I do, another reason why I'm too complex for primary care. I am in trauma-focused counselling. I've been through counselling before and it's never worked, I just can't get comfortable enough to talk about things honestly with a complete stranger.. but right now I have to take what I can get.

+ sadly, even if I tell the counseller I'm self harming/ suicidal, all they can do is say (yep you guessed it) go to the GP. What is the point.
-A

 

[ClairyFairy]

Sadly I do, another reason why I'm too complex for primary care. I am in trauma-focused counselling. I've been through counselling before and it's never worked, I just can't get comfortable enough to talk about things honestly with a complete stranger.. but right now I have to take what I can get.

+ sadly, even if I tell the counseller I'm self harming/ suicidal, all they can do is say (yep you guessed it) go to the GP. What is the point.
-A

Are there any charity's in your area that deal with the specific type of trauma you've suffered? That's where I'm at now. The 1st therapist I had got sick and the next one just didn't work.

 

[Mentalmick]

This one's from a few weeks ago

Spoiler: Warning deepish cut

 

[ClairyFairy]

This one's from a few weeks ago

Spoiler: Warning deepish cut

View attachment 73797

Woah that is harsh.
I've been doing little but loads :,(

 

[Mentalmick]

Heard about this thread today and thought I would join in and post my own photos from probably the deepest cuts I made in my wrist a while back:

Spoiler

View attachment 74096View attachment 74097View attachment 74098View attachment 74099

How are you closing them? I use skin staples.

 

[phoenixx]

How are you closing them? I use skin staples.

This was pretty difficult to close up, they probably would have needed stitches or something but I couldn't risk going to the hospital so I used strips (butterfly stitches) and plasters to keep close them up as much as I could. I also had a tight wristband over the top to keep it covered up and made sure it didn't get worse. It took a long time but eventually it healed. My wrist now looks very messed up from it though, especially since I cut even more after it had healed but I have no regrets! I even wish I could do it again but that's not possible at the moment.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

This is fucking nothing compared to what I've done before. Will just work on making it longer given that my stupid brain won't let me go deeper. I ordered my SN today after over a year of trying to build up the courage. I want to fucking die.

Spoiler

Spoiler: Final result...disappointed

 

[RazzleDazzle]

I'm 41 and have never considered self-harming until this past year. Now it just seems like a temporary escape from a constant pain. The pain is still gonna be there.

 

[OhSoTired]

I'm 41 and have never considered self-harming until this past year. Now it just seems like a temporary escape from a constant pain. The pain is still gonna be there.

I'm 42 and have been struggling with self harm since I was about 11 years old. I went a span of about 8 years where I didn't struggle with it the but the last year or so has been a serious struggle and the last 6-8 months have been hell. Now I want to cut and think about suicide all the time.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

I'm 42 and have been struggling with self harm since I was about 11 years old. I went a span of about 8 years where I didn't struggle with it the but the last year or so has been a serious struggle and the last 6-8 months have been hell. Now I want to cut and think about suicide all the time.

I'm sorry that you're struggling like that, it sounds very painful. Sometimes the pain is inescapable, I've totally broken down under it, but I don't think that self-harm would provide any sort of real relief. So now I'm just thinking about suicide. It's a lonely place to be.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I haven't self-harmed in over 5 years; that's the last time I also actively attempted to CTB.

My preferred method of SH was slamming my head into walls or hard objects. Trying to make myself black out so I didn't have to be conscious or aware.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I'm 41 and have never considered self-harming until this past year. Now it just seems like a temporary escape from a constant pain. The pain is still gonna be there.

self harm can help for a few moments, its a slippery road to go down, if you can avoid it, find distraction techniques please do.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

self harm can help for a few moments, its a slippery road to go down, if you can avoid it, find distraction techniques please do.

I'm living in constant distress under huge amounts of pressure, I'm here because I need a bigger solution than a couple of minutes of relief.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

Nothing is real. How could I be so stupid to think anyone could ever care about me? Stinging, shallow cuts everywhere. Not enough. Never enough. All I smell is blood.

Spoiler

sorry for my fat legs I'm disgusting