Resource Self Harm Support Thread

[futileflutters]

I've been self harming with burns for a decade, but cuts are so much more satisfying to the point where I do 4-12 a day now.

This is some of today's.

Side note, is the yellowish dot in the center of the slightly gaping cut a tiny peek into the fat layer? Didn't see it till looking back at these photos after cleaning up.

Spoiler: TW: Bleeding Cuts

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Side note, is the yellowish dot in the center of the slightly gaping cut a tiny peek into the fat layer? Didn't see it till looking back at these photos after cleaning up.

Yes, that is the fat.

 

[The_screaming_dawn]

I started when I was 11 by taking nail clippers and cutting into my toe skin and ripping it off. 12 progressed to knives, 18 weed and alcohol combined with the knives. Im trying to quit but college is- not where i should be. But im here. Because why would I be able to make my own choices in the household im in. Yay.

 

[enough of this]

My self-harm is spiritual, not physical. I self-sabotage - set myself up for failure, sometimes just so I can maintain my addiction(s). But when my addictions are more soothing than my reality, it's worth it.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My self-harm is spiritual, not physical. I self-sabbotage

How do you harm yourself spiritually? I'm not a very spiritual person...

 

[enough of this]

How do you harm yourself spiritually? I'm not a very spiritual person...

I make up that people are intentionally hurting me. Or, I'll put myself in a situation where I'll be hurt by something or someone.

 

[lostintheloop]

Anyone else self-harm by swallowing objects (foreign body ingestion) ?
Not new to SH at all, have done it for 10 years, but new to this method. I'm quite ashamed of it but can't stop.

 

[four_walls_girl]

Tried cutting myself with a butter knife at 14 lmao. But it didn't work properly obviously and I was just like "this is dumb as shit" and didn't try it again until 22 after some family drama involving my grandad being outed as a pedo oop.

Now I can't feel satisfied until I hit fat :/
But even then obviously it doesn't feel enough, I don't particularly even want to go deep like to the point way past fat, I just want the cuts to be large enough to create really big scars, For me cutting is more about the visual stim/ "aesthetic" along with the emotional regulation aspect anyways. Makes it feel a little more invalidating, but it is what it is.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I'm trying for them thats the only resone but my hope in my resone is always weary I can't take it I have this itch and I can't take it this shaking and this aching I need to let out, I can't take it i need to breath I'm with family i gotta get out of the bathroom control my shaking and go smile smile smile, bite your tounge ill get what I need when I go.

 

[senti-mental]

does anyone else prefer duller knives. not like, dull enough to not cut, but dull enough to have less control over the cut. idk, I find it more satisfying when I have to use more pressure and kinda tear at the skin for it to make it deep enough. it doesn't hurt anymore than the razor sharp blades/knives but its a different pain and I like how the cuts/scars look more

 

[brickedup]

i'm in recovery rn i hope i last a while. i've SHed for years and though i don't have much scars i very much do regret it. to anyone reading this, please stop while you still can. and if you are in recovery, good luck

 

[futileflutters]

does anyone else prefer duller knives. not like, dull enough to not cut, but dull enough to have less control over the cut. idk, I find it more satisfying when I have to use more pressure and kinda tear at the skin for it to make it deep enough. it doesn't hurt anymore than the razor sharp blades/knives but its a different pain and I like how the cuts/scars look more

Cannot say I can relate to preferring to need more pressure, but 100% agree that my most satisfying cuts are ones that I by intent or not have only a loose control over the blade.

 

[nekkocrose]

Eu adoro me cortar. As cicatrizes que faço, quanto sangue sai. Não sinto que o corte esteja bom o suficiente, a menos que esteja sangrando muito. Às vezes, me preocupo em cortar muito fundo e estragar minha mão ou dedos, mas acho que conheço meus limites. Não me corto para morrer, só me corto para ver meu corpo daquele jeito e sentir essa dor. Para ser totalmente honesto, eu costumava me cortar para chamar atenção (eu estava na 6ª série, não julgue), agora eu me corto só por mim.

eu também, eu gosto da automutilação pela dor e pelo sangue, e quanto mais fundo eu acho mais legal, eu me corto por mim, não porque estou mal, sim por diversão e tédio, eu acho legal que tenha um forum pra automutilação.

 

[screamfntsy]

I've been self harming since 6th grade. I would try to cut myself with blunt old kitchen knives, scissors etc but it never really worked. Instead I settled for biting and hitting. For whatever reason no teachers or parents found this concerning so I got to graduate to burning myself with lighters and actually cutting myself. It feels so embarrassing. Just seeing my legs at the pool made my father cry. But it's the only thing that feels good. It's the only way to relieve stress in a way that works, it genuinely feels like stress is dripping right out of me. I don't know why really, but when I cut i start to giggle. I don't really have control over it. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

 

[Liammm]

I used to pinch. Since... My birthday when I was assaulted. I moved to cutting because I got angry. It scared me but soothed my anger. And now... It's sex. Meaningless and empty sex.

I have flashbacks to the times that I gave myself away. And I throw them in the vault. I pretend they dont exist. I feel shitty, I feel like panicking and crying, but... I keep doing it. Especially with men. The panic that swells in me when I go to meet another person is intoxicating. It clouds my thoughts, my feelings, my morals... It's all that matters.

 

[thinkingofdeath]

I punch myself, often in the face. My dad used to hit me when I was younger, so maybe it comes from there.

I usually do it alone, but I've done it on the phone with my dad during heated conversations, and I've done it twice in front of people in desperately miserable situations: once, when a guy broke up with me; and once, when a person who I thought was going to hire me for my dream job, actually told me that he never wanted to work with me and never to speak to him again.

It usually happens when I feel extreme despair and anguish, as well as a burning need to express that pain on the outside, somehow. The last time I hit myself, my face hurt for about a week, and not going to lie, the bruising and pain felt comforting in a weird way, like, feeling temporarily in control.

I haven't done it in about a month and a half, but I'm dreading another big emotional hit soon, and it's not unlikely that I'll be tempted to do it again. I have had moments in the past few weeks where I've curled up my hands in a fist, as though my body is anticipating needing to do it.

Interestingly, I've also made art of myself punching myself, using a jailbroken AI. I got it to generate animations and had it write abusive statements about how I deserve it and worse. Again, not the healthiest probably, but maybe better than actually hitting myself. I wish I didn't have the urge at all, though.

 

[cali22♡]

If you are tired of doing this buy a hand trainer and train your hand believe me this is the best way to fight it it's just mega cool
If you get bored then you can increase the strength and make a game out of it I'm at 60kg now for example and it will help you and your hands will look good

 

[thinkingofdeath]

If you are tired of doing this buy a hand trainer and train your hand believe me this is the best way to fight it it's just mega cool
If you get bored then you can increase the strength and make a game out of it I'm at 60kg now for example and it will help you and your hands will look good

Was this message meant for me? Because… huh. I've never even heard of that before! Very interesting. Thank you.

 

[Loser1989]

Self harmed since I was 11, slammed a protractor into the back of my hand, unscrewed a blade from a pencil sharpener and used that. Then I broke a picture frame and had a little box I kept the bigger shards in with a journal and some self care items.

Stopped at 18, wore a sweat band on my wrist for years.

Started again at about 30, I keep it to my ankle now though. Easier to hide.

Just cut myself about an hour ago, box cutter now. They're cleaner cuts.

 

[nomoredolor]

I don't have anyone else I can tell this to. I burned myself again tonight, just now, after not doing so for several days. I used a butter knife for the first time (usually I use a razor blade) and it was much hotter. I did it twice. The first time I passed out from the pain. The second time I think I just had a literal seizure. I didn't know that could happen from a small burn. (Technically a burn on top of an old burn on top of a cut.) I'm embarrassed. I don't feel good.

Anna

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I hope this is an appropriate question to ask in this thread. If not, I apologize.

I stabbed myself in the chest last year during a mental breakdown but didn't hit any vital underlying structures. I still have a raised and red scar that gets irritated and itchy regularly. I've used silicone gel and silicone sheets for the scar but they didn't make much of a difference. Are there any other things you guys recommend using, to help flatten the scar out over time so that I can get a tattoo in that area later on, or is it just a waiting game at this point?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I hope this is an appropriate question to ask in this thread. If not, I apologize.

I stabbed myself in the chest last year during a mental breakdown but didn't hit any vital underlying structures. I still have a raised and red scar that gets irritated and itchy regularly. I've used silicone gel and silicone sheets for the scar but they didn't make much of a difference. Are there any other things you guys recommend using, to help flatten the scar out over time so that I can get a tattoo in that area later on, or is it just a waiting game at this point?

You can try going to a dermatologist to see what treatments they might recommend to you. There's steroid injections, cryotherapy, laser therapy, surgery, etc.

 

[Namelesa]

I am normally not negatively effected by my self harm scars at all but these one off time ones I did on my thigh I don't like. They were done for a different reason compared to the rest of my self harm scars which are all on my arm. I feel like they ruin how look.

Spoiler: Raised Scars

is there anything I could potential make them less noticeable or flatten them more? If I can't I was thinking of doing more scars on there to make it feel less out of place but maybe that would make me feel worse about it.

 

[onthefence]

I don't have anyone else I can tell this to. I burned myself again tonight, just now, after not doing so for several days. I used a butter knife for the first time (usually I use a razor blade) and it was much hotter. I did it twice. The first time I passed out from the pain. The second time I think I just had a literal seizure. I didn't know that could happen from a small burn. (Technically a burn on top of an old burn on top of a cut.) I'm embarrassed. I don't feel good.

Anna

Sorry you don't feel good. Its hard. There is so much shame around self harm. This is similar to my method- if you don't mind answering- where on your body were you burning that you were able to pass out?

I am normally not negatively effected by my self harm scars at all but these one off time ones I did on my thigh I don't like. They were done for a different reason compared to the rest of my self harm scars which are all on my arm. I feel like they ruin how look.

Spoiler: Raised Scars

is there anything I could potential make them less noticeable or flatten them more? If I can't I was thinking of doing more scars on there to make it feel less out of place but maybe that would make me feel worse about it.

Scar tape

 

[EvisceratedJester]

is there anything I could potential make them less noticeable or flatten them more? If I can't I was thinking of doing more scars on there to make it feel less out of place but maybe that would make me feel worse about it.

The most common treatment options for hypertrophic scars include:

• Corticosteroid injections: This is a main treatment for hypertrophic scars. Injections are made into the scar tissue. They flatten and soften scar tissue and ease pain and itch. Several shots may be needed, each given a few weeks apart.
• Laser therapy: Long pulsed Nd:YAG lasers or pulsed dye lasers are the lasers commonly used to treat hypertrophic scars and keloids. Lasers often target blood vessels in the scar which can remove these blood vessels and prevent scar growth. They also can lighten the red or pink color often seen in scars and reduce pain, itch and hardness. A fractionated laser may be used to put microscopic holes in the scar to soften it and tell it to remodel. This is particularly good for scars that may limit range of motion over joints or have not completely responded to other methods.
• Bleomycin or 5-FU (fluorouracil) injection: Either of these medication choices are injected directly into the scar tissue. The medication flattens the scar and reduces itch and pain by damaging the cells that have overgrown. These injections are usually combined with laser therapy or corticosteroid injection to reduce the side effects of the medication.
• Cryotherapy: Cryotherapy uses extreme cold (liquid nitrogen) to freeze and slowly destroy scar tissue, which helps flatten the raised tissue. This treatment may be combined with the other injection treatment options to further reduce the scar.
• Surgery: Sometimes surgery is performed to cut out the scar or redirect the lines of tension on the scar. Usually, surgery is considered when other treatment options have failed. This is because the surgery itself can result in scarring. Surgery may be combined with other treatment to improve the results.

Hypertrophic Scar: What Is It, Causes, Treatment

A hypertrophic scar is a thick raised scar. It’s an abnormal response to wound healing. Scarring more commonly occurs in areas where your skin is taut.

my.clevelandclinic.org

 

[nomoredolor]

Sorry you don't feel good. Its hard. There is so much shame around self harm. This is similar to my method- if you don't mind answering- where on your body were you burning that you were able to pass out?

Thank you. And on my wrist over an open wound. But I'm prone to passing out anyway just in regular day to day life

 

[blackIronPrison]

I cut myself allot when I was a teenager. At some point when I was in college, I cut myself incredibly deep during a not-so-great moment and had to treat it with random shit I found around my apartment. It's an actual miracle I didn't get an infection I was real quick-and-dirty about it lol. Recently, during times when I've been a bit too drunk, have started cutting again. My own personal official justification is like conservation of energy. If I have pain that's allot less material or kinda abstract I can kinda "convert" it to something physical. Like an actual wound I can dress and care for etc. Tho I am particular embarrassed given how self harm is usually considered pretty juvenile by allot of people. It's something I try to avoid making a habit of but with mixed results.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Anyone out there have experience or knowledge about caring for slow healing wounds (from blisters from burns, around coin sized)?

I am a first aider myself so am fine with the initial care and red flags/alarm bells for significant injury. However after the 'stop bleeding/prevent infection/get help' pre hospital stages I am stuck. Even reputable medical websites seem to disagree with each other - I want genuine experienced advice please, not copied search results.

I find the blister bursts before it is able to heal itself and then the wound seems to take weeks to heal and almost seems to visually get deeper as it is healing initially.

I am aware of infection risk/mitigation with open wounds. I am also wanting to self-manage - they are not big/significant enough to warrant professional inspection (I also do not have a gp currently). Its more about reassurance and helping me slow down and allowing myself the required patience in the healing of them.

Should I be covering and keeping moist or leaving it open to scab over and dry out? How frequent should plaster changes be done? I struggle with valuing myself with keeping up general self care. But I am more motivated to force myself to keep up wound care because new wounds are so difficult to explain and generate questions that I can't deal with so I really need them to heal up asap and get super impatient. Is it normal they might take weeks to months to heal? It always makes me nervy at this stage a few weeks down the line.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Dot]

Anyone out there have experience or knowledge about caring for slow healing wounds (from blisters from burns, around coin sized)?

I am a first aider myself so am fine with the initial care. However after the 'stop bleeding/prevent infection/get help' pre hospital stages I am stuck. Even reputable medical websites seem to disagree with each other - I want genuine experienced advice please, not copied search results.

I find the blister bursts before it is able to heal itself and then the wound seems to take weeks to heal and almost seems to visually get deeper as it is healing initially.

I am aware of infection risk/mitigation with open wounds. I am also wanting to self-manage - they are not big/significant enough to warrant professional inspection (I also do not have a gp currently). Its more about reassurance and helping me slow down and allowing myself the required patience in the healing of them.

Should I be covering and keeping moist or leaving it open to scab over and dry out? How frequent should plaster changes be done? I struggle with valuing myself with keeping up general self care. But I am more motivated to force myself to keep up wound care because new wounds are so difficult to explain and generate questions that I can't deal with so I really need them to heal up asap and get super impatient. Is it normal they might take weeks to months to heal? It always makes me nervy at this stage a few weeks down the line.

Thanks in advance.

First aid and treatment of minor burns - PMC

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Am awre tht = serch rsult bt = also takn frm medcl journl tht slf dscovrd whle puttng 2gthr SH rsources thred

Self Harm Resources

This post is written by @Dot, I am just the messenger Self Harm It's known that there are many users on the forum who self harm for different reasons. This thread is focused mostly on habitual or impulsive/physical self harm. This thread has not been made for any glorification of self harm...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[onthefence]

Anyone out there have experience or knowledge about caring for slow healing wounds (from blisters from burns, around coin sized)?

I am a first aider myself so am fine with the initial care and red flags/alarm bells for significant injury. However after the 'stop bleeding/prevent infection/get help' pre hospital stages I am stuck. Even reputable medical websites seem to disagree with each other - I want genuine experienced advice please, not copied search results.

I find the blister bursts before it is able to heal itself and then the wound seems to take weeks to heal and almost seems to visually get deeper as it is healing initially.

I am aware of infection risk/mitigation with open wounds. I am also wanting to self-manage - they are not big/significant enough to warrant professional inspection (I also do not have a gp currently). Its more about reassurance and helping me slow down and allowing myself the required patience in the healing of them.

Should I be covering and keeping moist or leaving it open to scab over and dry out? How frequent should plaster changes be done? I struggle with valuing myself with keeping up general self care. But I am more motivated to force myself to keep up wound care because new wounds are so difficult to explain and generate questions that I can't deal with so I really need them to heal up asap and get super impatient. Is it normal they might take weeks to months to heal? It always makes me nervy at this stage a few weeks down the line.

Thanks in advance.

Hey confused- this sounds pretty typical from my experience for healing times. The deep ones can take a couple months. And as they heal sometimes the wound looks like it gets deeper. Keeping it clean n covered is important because getting antibiotics for an infection can be a challenge. But- as soon as you think it's infected get care or it can get much worse. As for the moist/ dry question I don't really know. I kind of care for it based on what it looks like/ feels like. I change the plaster twice a day and will sometimes leave it open to air overnight if it looks too moist.