Share how your week is going as a recap

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Share your vents, ideas, thoughts, sessions, reviews, progress, anything as long as it helps you on your journey in coping with anything you would feel like writing as a diary in a recap to always review if you need to here and for all to learn from too ((:

 

[BlueberrySylv]

oh! today is the last day of the week for me, what a convenient timing, let's see.

it's been a week I'm on my meds now,
I got myself new earbuds!
found out Ive failed 2-3 of my midterm exams (owe)
hmm those are the main points.

the medication is really weird. at first I felt extremely numb. no emotion even happiness, but now I'm starting to feel slight emotions again but they're very little. I'm starting to doubt how good these meds are going to work and I'm getting tired of their side effects too heh...less motivated to do any job or anything, barely getting myself to do any work. and I'm just being so...lazy

my new earbuds! do I love them!! they're such an upgrade from my old ones, these ones have in-ear detection, active noise cancelation, and ldac codec! :D I'm still fascinated by all of it had and I love it so much.

my exams owe...I didnt study cause I was planning to do the whole...ctb, but I didn't do it and failed, so now I'm here with...multiple failed exams and barely acceptable scores ._.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

oh! today is the last day of the week for me, what a convenient timing, let's see.

it's been a week I'm on my meds now,
I got myself new earbuds!
found out Ive failed 2-3 of my midterm exams (owe)
hmm those are the main points.

the medication is really weird. at first I felt extremely numb. no emotion even happiness, but now I'm starting to feel slight emotions again but they're very little. I'm starting to doubt how good these meds are going to work and I'm getting tired of their side effects too heh...less motivated to do any job or anything, barely getting myself to do any work. and I'm just being so...lazy

my new earbuds! do I love them!! they're such an upgrade from my old ones, these ones have in-ear detection, active noise cancelation, and ldac codec! :D I'm still fascinated by all of it had and I love it so much.

my exams owe...I didnt study cause I was planning to do the whole...ctb, but I didn't do it and failed, so now I'm here with...multiple failed exams and barely acceptable scores ._.

I heard the news and I'm so happy for you!!
Enjoy those earbuds :D:D
Oh no... :(( I hope it wasn't the earbuds fault or meds. >_<
(Haha share more soon along the way and see what happens

That's a good analogy. Alrighty!! We will see how the meds embark these few weeks for you, and if not, you know what would need to happen (even go back to one or lower the dosage or slowly up them?). However, we're here to support you, so take it slowly ((:

YAYYY!!!

Continue enjoying your week, and you get more of these ((:

I heard... I hope you're okay, and take your time. You right now just need to focus on you and take your time slowly in taking this month on its back without any issues, as Recovery team (not officially a thing hehe — just us :>) will be there for you ^^. ((:

 

[LilyLaroux2000]

I had an aweful week...

Trigger warning in here!!!! Dont read if you are uncomfortable with CTB and SH!!!!


I completly snaped for the 5th time in the last half year - I even snaped twice this week. Whitch is a LOT...
I tryed to CTB twice this week, but I was stopped by my friends.
I wish they didnt stop me, but in the same time Im glad I didnt traumatize any of them - and that I didnt hurt anyone by disapearing...

I had selfharmed so much this week...
I did deep cuts on my arms - even reaching the fat as well.

I regret my life choices. I regret not planing any life ever since I was 4. I seriusly planed to just die ever since I was 4. Its really hard to live now. Its hard to do anything and its hard to survive.
But in the same time my mind is telling me that its better this way...

I already survived around 30 attempts and its getting worse with each one.
Why dont I stop? I cant- its hard for me. I have some mental illnesses that cannot be cured. Its not a temporary problem for me. I dont want to live- not just like this- no I dont want any kind of life. I dont care about life.



Im so sorry if you relate-
And Im so sorry if I said something wrong-
Im just in a really bad headspace right now. So Im sorry.



Have a nice day! qwq

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I had an aweful week...

Trigger warning in here!!!! Dont read if you are uncomfortable with CTB and SH!!!!


I completly snaped for the 5th time in the last half year - I even snaped twice this week. Whitch is a LOT...
I tryed to CTB twice this week, but I was stopped by my friends.
I wish they didnt stop me, but in the same time Im glad I didnt traumatize any of them - and that I didnt hurt anyone by disapearing...

I had selfharmed so much this week...
I did deep cuts on my arms - even reaching the fat as well.

I regret my life choices. I regret not planing any life ever since I was 4. I seriusly planed to just die ever since I was 4. Its really hard to live now. Its hard to do anything and its hard to survive.
But in the same time my mind is telling me that its better this way...

I already survived around 30 attempts and its getting worse with each one.
Why dont I stop? I cant- its hard for me. I have some mental illnesses that cannot be cured. Its not a temporary problem for me. I dont want to live- not just like this- no I dont want any kind of life. I dont care about life.



Im so sorry if you relate-
And Im so sorry if I said something wrong-
Im just in a really bad headspace right now. So Im sorry.



Have a nice day! qwq

Don't apologize, and your trigger warning at the beginning was thoughtful for others.

I am a CTBer, and I created this forum as a place for those in recovery to just share their week, lol, so don't worry about it.

I will personally be responding to many on here, because it's a group effort to make others feel heard and to feel at eased.

I want to apologize for your many failed attempts and the attempts you've endured so far, and if at all, you aren't at fault for what has happened to you.

I know you are trying and you are doing what you can, especially for this week, and I appreciate that you were honest in discussion over this, as that's basically what SaSu is for.

I sadly do haha, but I truly wish to share I am thankful you came here even though it was saddening, but that's why you vent. I didn't get something that could make me communicate more with you with anything you mentioned, like a short subliminal message to give you advice or a bit of positive reinforcement, but I can just say, continue coming and equally chat if you need to ((:

I really don't mind. But yeah, take it slow, and like with me, I get it, and I won't fault you for it. Your friends don't understand, which sucks so much, but I equally get why their small minded brains wouldn't approve of that, but it's why SaSu exists, and I again, deeply emphasize with what your going through this week and hope you find your method that supports your peace when you are at much rest to do so.

 

[whywere]

Sent a card to my younger sister who has not spoken or anything to me since 1990 and was given the ultimate silent treatment and her daughter, my niece, whom I have never met, and I found out just moved not far from me, does not want any form of contact what's so ever. This is why this place is my family, at least folks here will say hi to me.

Lots of work and trying to plan all my business trips coming up, so frustrating to be sure.

Wishing everyone here a great Friday and upcoming weekend filled with love and kindness.

Walter

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Sent a card to my younger sister who has not spoken or anything to me since 1990 and was given the ultimate silent treatment and her daughter, my niece, whom I have never met, and I found out just moved not far from me, does not want any form of contact what's so ever. This is why this place is my family, at least folks here will say hi to me.

Lots of work and trying to plan all my business trips coming up, so frustrating to be sure.

Wishing everyone here a great Friday and upcoming weekend filled with love and kindness.

Walter

Oh my gosh, Walter…

I am so sorry to hear such news. I truly hope this saddened news didn't discourage you from your week so far… But then again, I can imagine that's leave a huge stain for an entire week.

I'm glad you're here and we will make sure your week next week is great. Come back again and hope you enjoy your vacations.

Spring by anytime with a PM. And trying to recover messages from what I've lost on my break.

Hope your safe and recovering and please do care for your mental well-being and let go of said family and write lots of silent unsent letters saying your well goodbyes from the hurt and if it helps, burn every one this week to reassure a sense of peace.

Hugs to you and well wishes over this break

Unrelated but my week:
For me, learned that bleach poisoning can occur from small amounts of bleach and can help with SN symptoms on day of ctb for anyone hehe, but I didn't expect it'd be so painful… and I thought I would be gone, but I was just in pain with some issues over for awhile and took allergy meds and now I have hives which I thought were some anonymous bumps from somewhere or a bug but nope… they were big and lumpy and making me itch and kept ongoing, but my voice is back and I am not breaking my bones anymore…

 

[Kanashii]

oh! today is the last day of the week for me, what a convenient timing, let's see.

it's been a week I'm on my meds now,
I got myself new earbuds!
found out Ive failed 2-3 of my midterm exams (owe)
hmm those are the main points.

the medication is really weird. at first I felt extremely numb. no emotion even happiness, but now I'm starting to feel slight emotions again but they're very little. I'm starting to doubt how good these meds are going to work and I'm getting tired of their side effects too heh...less motivated to do any job or anything, barely getting myself to do any work. and I'm just being so...lazy

my new earbuds! do I love them!! they're such an upgrade from my old ones, these ones have in-ear detection, active noise cancelation, and ldac codec! :D I'm still fascinated by all of it had and I love it so much.

my exams owe...I didnt study cause I was planning to do the whole...ctb, but I didn't do it and failed, so now I'm here with...multiple failed exams and barely acceptable scores ._.

That sounds hard. I hope you manage to get used to the medication though as it really does help.

You mentioned it has side effects. I'm not sure what medication you are on, but usually you start to feel better over time and you can get used to most of the side effects.

At least one good thing has happened though which is a positive. New earbuds. Hope that whatever you listen to helps you to feel better.
My week has been okay. Very emotionless to say the least but it's better than feeling upset over small things like I usually am.

Been training at the gym which has helped a lot and always does.

Haven't had much work this week so I have been loathing around not doing much apart from what I already mentioned. But overall I think it's been a decent week.

I did have a breakup last night but I'm not too upset about it because he was never there enough for me so I don't really feel all too upset about it.

Doesn't feel nice, but it doesn't feel bad either in all honesty and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I'm just feeling pretty okay. I have vented to people to just get things off my chest which always makes me feel lighter.

Hope everyone else has a good Friday and a good weekend too. Hoping next week can be better for all of us <3

 

[azzie]

I'm not feeling the best right now—I'm struggling with a flare-up, lying in bed sick, and feeling a bit disconnected from reality, often stuck in maladaptive autistic daydreams of a better life.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I'm not feeling the best right now—I'm struggling with a flare-up, lying in bed sick, and feeling a bit disconnected from reality, often stuck in maladaptive autistic daydreams of a better life.

I wish you nothing but peace through this difficult battle, and live your daydreams until it one day comes to reality. I am with you all the way as a former maladaptive daydreamer and daydreamer waiting for my end, I equally battled sickness too.

All loves back

 

[Greyhawk]

I've watched pretty good movies which I'm glad about. Also relapsed in SH but I am starting therapy next week so hopefully things will get better. Will finally be able to up my dosage at least.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I've watched pretty good movies which I'm glad about. Also relapsed in SH but I am starting therapy next week so hopefully things will get better. Will finally be able to up my dosage at least.

I'm glad!!
It must be very nice and peaceful enjoying something without much worry or stress.
And good job!! You made it out ready for the next week :D

 

[owo]

my life turned in absolute mess (even not for a week, already for few months), everytime stress (finally without any suicidal thoughts)

i have rare ability to post here, because of i dont have everytime access to internet because of my current life situation (however, its not for long) (at least not should be as)

someone who read this, have a nice day/week/month/year/any time period <3

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

my life turned in absolute mess (even not for a week, already for few months), everytime stress (finally without any suicidal thoughts)

i have rare ability to post here, because of i dont have everytime access to internet because of my current life situation (however, its not for long) (at least not should be as)

someone who read this, have a nice day/week/month/year/any time period <3

I'm happy you got through the downs to reply here with what you're currently facing.

I'm so sorry things are this way. I get the hardships and know you'll be in for a rude awakening from the traumas and the anxieties you'll deal with at night from this, and it never fully leaves you.

Supporting you through this from a screen awhile and however miles it is for us to connect through these devices.

It hurts you're suffering and can't get a break.

If at all, take your time, and same with you.

I truly wish you had peace and hope the next couple of weeks will shortly weigh this week down for you to find longing in how your week had went overall

Take your best and come back when you can, and here with you whenever you need it :'))

 

[azzie]

I wish you nothing but peace through this difficult battle, and live your daydreams until it one day comes to reality. I am with you all the way as a former maladaptive daydreamer and daydreamer waiting for my end, I equally battled sickness too.

All loves back

Thank you, you are very kind. I hope all your dreams come true as well.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Thank you, you are very kind. I hope all your dreams come true as well.

I appreciate your optimism and welcome my happy it reached you ((: You are highly supported back and kindly heard!!

 

[loneloser]

Every day seems to be the same day just repeated over and over, it's like I'm in a cycle of suffering that never ends. Week-day or week-end, it doesn't matter. Nothing changes and all I want is to just sleep forever in a comfy protected bed without the need to eat, sleep, or do anything. Even then I don't deserve that comfort.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Every day seems to be the same day just repeated over and over, it's like I'm in a cycle of suffering that never ends. Week-day or week-end, it doesn't matter. Nothing changes and all I want is to just sleep forever in a comfy protected bed without the need to eat, sleep, or do anything. Even then I don't deserve that comfort.

I deeply relate so damn badly and wonder why this world feels like a fever dream most days… it has no end. I truly wish I had actual support to share for this one :((

Ah, hopefully next week may be better? But doubt it as I get the feeling so badly

 

[owo]

I'm happy you got through the downs to reply here with what you're currently facing.

I'm so sorry things are this way. I get the hardships and know you'll be in for a rude awakening from the traumas and the anxieties you'll deal with at night from this, and it never fully leaves you.

Supporting you through this from a screen awhile and however miles it is for us to connect through these devices.

It hurts you're suffering and can't get a break.

If at all, take your time, and same with you.

I truly wish you had peace and hope the next couple of weeks will shortly weigh this week down for you to find longing in how your week had went overall

Take your best and come back when you can, and here with you whenever you need it :'))

thank you for the wishes :)
sending hugs to you!!

 

[lotus11]

It was my birthday last week...An amazing time to show that absolutely nobody cares about you and dreading how many years I would have left still if I don't manage to kill myself.

 

[GlassMoon]

I made some progress in managing my emotions, enjoyed the sun-shine a bit but still had quite some pain. Did not exercise as much as I had planned due to the pain :-(

 

[RegretedFeeling]

I'm getting kicked out of my place for doing drugs,I have no money , no friends or family and my cars wheel just went flat so I'm now riding a spare that's seen about 2000 km already. My gas gage is flashing, I figure I'm going to drive down the road and hang myself in the car. Maybe I will make it till Tuesday when Iay or may not get money and if I make it I'm going to try and get enough drugs to OD while I hang