
deadfaery
i was not built for longevity but for holding pain
- Mar 2, 2025
- 6
my method that I've chosen to use is overdosing on amitriptyline. I was able to get my dr to prescribe it to me about a month ago. We started at 25mg and a week ago increased to 50mg. My plan is to save all the pills until we increase to 100mg and stock up 2 months worth of 100mg. Then I'll overdose on everything I've saved amounting to approximately 9-10g which is the amount the pph recommends for a successful attempt. I just have to figure out how I'm going to take all of the pills without my body refusing to let me swallow them because I've overdosed a few times and now it's pretty tough for me to swallow even just a couple pills. I'm thinking I'll probably take them with a smoothie or yogurt to disguise them. I keep having urges to just od on the amount I have now but it's definitely not enough to kill me so I have to keep myself from being impulsive in the really rough moments. I relapsed on self harm and have been cutting myself to distract and give me enough pain to keep me from impulsively overdosing before I'm fully prepared. I feel pretty at peace with my decision I'm just so impatient, it's annoying having to wait each month to get my dose increased and stock up but I'm glad I finally was able to acquire the amitriptyline.