Help THE AFTERZ

[DocNo]

oh mate! i absolutely relate to how you described this existential mind fuck..
i used to be a passionate arrow! i had a belief\project in mind\heart and i would charge with guns blazing!
if im being more honest that energy probably was fueled by my rage and opposition to what i was born into and how i was raised etc, but in my twenties i lost someone and something in me that was extremely powwerful collapsed cause it was already built on a thin tight rope and so my "belief" system changed, i became defeated and slowly more and more recluse and detached.. that lively caged part you described is being shielded and kept safely numb.. we are made from very fragile material and like you say sometimes it lightens up and we want to hold on to that refreshing feeling of nonchalant but its fleeting and we dont trust it.. never a fucking break right? ffs..
but hey i mean look at this fantastic portrait of how @Sensei sees me that just makes me feel i am invincible!!! priceless that is!! love you so much!!!! im gagged! absolutely fanfuckingtastic!!

i was like a rocket - fired at the age of 15 being at the peak at around 22/23 and then it went quickly downwards - crashing at 24.
i was fearless but also sometimes pretty mean - i was especially at the downfall not a nice person.
i guess rage was feeding my energy for sure a little bit - but it was more the love of doing - the good feeling, when you finished something you can identify - this cold shower of pleasure running down your back.
for me its like too much smoking pot and having some toxic people around me - imprisoned the energetic side which came geneticly from my father and replaced it with the fearful, anxious, undecided site of my mother. since then - i am like a shadow of myself.

its also somehow like icarus - i flew too near to the sun and my wings burnd down and i crashed.

one point is also that this moments of light, where all makes sense, gives purpose for a moment - but you can't even decipher your own thoughts when you in the dark corners again.
which often leads to the feeling that you can't trust your own decisions and you sometimes always crash back to square one and start from zero.


and i guess it wouldn't be me if i dont have some music for my icarus analogy :D :D :D





that track i came across while searching - nice track - even nicer video - at least the first part.





and finally the song which expanded my perception of the universe by about 10^50 :D
sitting complete stoned in the back of a bmw - this track came up - and the universe of electronic music gained a new member:

 

[K-O]

This is good shit, damn.

i know!! just cannot get enough of him! gaaa!!!

it was more the love of doing - the good feeling, when you finished something you can identify - this cold shower of pleasure running down your back.

yes. life force that is! nothing really like it!
like when you open the doors to your exhibition and finally set your baby free after hard work to be oxygenized by the outside world and you know youve done a good job..

for me its like too much smoking pot and having some toxic people around me - imprisoned the energetic side which came geneticly from my father and replaced it with the fearful, anxious, undecided site of my mother. since then - i am like a shadow of myself.

very relatable.. my father has this endless optimism and fountain of strength to him, he doesnt let the dark side in and always takes the high road.. mother on the other hand is schizophrenic and filled with demons and becomes them often taking down everything close to her, extremely destructive and psychotic.. and hard drugs at a young age.. too fast too soon and all that jazz..

its also somehow like icarus - i flew too near to the sun and my wings burnd down and i crashed.
one point is also that this moments of light, where all makes sense, gives purpose for a moment - but you can't even decipher your own thoughts when you in the dark corners again.
which often leads to the feeling that you can't trust your own decisions and you sometimes always crash back to square one and start from zero.

yes exactly!.. and then we find our selves here innit..

sitting complete stoned in the back of a bmw - this track came up - and the universe of electronic music gained a new member:

yes classic! good times! for me it was Prodigy and Ephix Twin, (Chris Cunningham being my VideoArt Idol and pursuing that myself..) so not so far off mate!.. x

 

[DocNo]

i know!! just cannot get enough of him! gaaa!!!



yes. life force that is! nothing really like it!
like when you open the doors to your exhibition and finally set your baby free after hard work to be oxygenized by the outside world and you know youve done a good job..

very relatable.. my father has this endless optimism and fountain of strength to him, he doesnt let the dark side in and always takes the high road.. mother on the other hand is schizophrenic and filled with demons and becomes them often taking down everything close to her, extremely destructive and psychotic.. and hard drugs at a young age.. too fast too soon and all that jazz..

yes exactly!.. and then we find our selves here innit..

yes classic! good times! for me it was Prodigy and Ephix Twin, (Chris Cunningham being my VideoArt Idol and pursuing that myself..) so not so far off mate!.. x

crazy - how similar this family stories are to some point. as far as i figured it out the fear, anxiety and depression of my mother was passed over for at least 2 oder 3 generations.
her mother was nearly the same - even more fearfull und undecided.

prodigy is nice and i listened much to stuff like chemical brothers and so on - but all this music was not even near this level of autechre, aphex twin or squarepusher in my view.

at the time i also was DJing a bit, i liked to torture people with this squarepusher track by playing also the 28seconds. :D

past then was also some of this moments - playing for 5 people you respect and they danced the shit out of their bodies and you have these feeling of unity with them.
the other 50 people were a bit annoyed, but i didn't give a shit about them in my arrogance back then :D

one of the reasons i always envied people who can play an instrument and have the chance of deeper connection to others through their music.


time for pain :D still love this dystopian track.




this harmonies combined with the driving force of the drums - like a mental jet engine. love it.




and a funny kung fu version :D

 

[Jumper Geo]

Don't know why I like this one I think I like the hat,




Tiime to queiten things down



Ok I suppose you should have the original,



Cheers

Geo

 

[DocNo]

a
Don't know why I like this one I just do,



Tiime to queiten things down



Cheers

Geo

i LOVE morricone and also the leone movies. the are a piece of art on its own.
morricone made you feel the movies.

edit: lol - wrong link posted? :D

 

[Jumper Geo]

i LOVE morricone and also the leone movies. the are a piece of art on its own.
morricone made you feel the movies.

lol - wrong link posted? :D

I copied and pasted that by mistake, lol but here is an alternative, enjoy.



Cheers

Geo

 

[DocNo]

I copied and pasted that by mistake, lol but here is an alternative, enjoy.



Cheers

Geo

yeah - the danish orchestra is really nice.
reminds me somehow of an ochestra version of the famous jerry lewis typewriter scene :D

 

[K-O]

crazy - how similar this family stories are to some point. as far as i figured it out the fear, anxiety and depression of my mother was passed over for at least 2 oder 3 generations.
her mother was nearly the same - even more fearfull und undecided.

my grandmother used to be very close to me and she held back her abusive side as long as she could from me but eventually she started lashing out and being very violent, paranoid and crazy ass evil and then i realized my mother was right about her being a total monster, thing is she was a great nana most of my life but when her true colors showed themselves i sadly had to cut ties with her after beating the shit out of me.. broke my heart she did but it was wonderful while it lasted.. the other grandma is a fucking super woman! never been ill in her entire life and always happy go lucky! (also at 94 she still has all of her teeth!) so yeah i recon these things are genetic.. and good thing weve got both sides right?.. im not schizo (touch wood) but im diagnosed with enough things..

at the time i also was DJing a bit, i liked to torture people with this squarepusher track by playing also the 28seconds. :D

past then was also some of this moments - playing for 5 people you respect and they danced the shit out of their bodies and you have these feeling of unity with them.
the other 50 people were a bit annoyed, but i didn't give a shit about them in my arrogance back then :D

i love that! yes! me and my mate used to barge in on the dj and put on an Ephix Twin just to take the piss! wed be dancing like epileptic wankers while others would be standing around uncomfortable..

time for pain :D still love this dystopian track.

good thing im a masochist! love those tracks! dj away xx
ps- @Underscore is our resident cowboi we can fight!

 

[DocNo]

my grandmother used to be very close to me and she held back her abusive side as long as she could from me but eventually she started lashing out and being very violent, paranoid and crazy ass evil and then i realized my mother was right about her being a total monster, thing is she was a great nana most of my life but when her true colors showed themselves i sadly had to cut ties with her after beating the shit out of me.. broke my heart she did but it was wonderful while it lasted.. the other grandma is a fucking super woman! never been ill in her entire life and always happy go lucky! (also at 94 she still has all of her teeth!) so yeah i recon these things are genetic.. and good thing weve got both sides right?.. im not schizo (touch wood) but im diagnosed with enough things..

i love that! yes! me and my mate used to barge in on the dj and put on an Ephix Twin just to take the piss! wed be dancing like epileptic wankers while others would be standing around uncomfortable..

good thing im a masochist! love those tracks! dj away xx
ps- @Underscore is our resident cowboi we can fight!

i had a great-grandmother on the father side, which was one of the most relaxed and wise women i met. did ride the bicycle till her early nineties to get some milk from the farmer.
when i quit school without exams - all were worried - but she said like a buddhist monch - he will make his way - have faith.
died at age 98. in her latest years her memory was pretty much gone, but i was fascinated of a moment, where we took a walk and she described something about a tree which i would never have noticed. what fascinated me about this was here connection with her enviroment. modern society looses more and more of this.

crazy - completely forgot this and i guess you are the first one i tell this story.

the great-grandmother on the motherside was pretty evil. she punished her son (my grandfather) by locking him outside during lightning storms. even in his 80ies he got nervous when it got stormy.


i also danced like a epileptic monkey on acid - even at some point with a collapsed lung - i made party three more days before going to the doctor :D

 

[K-O]

i had a great-grandmother on the father side, which was one of the most relaxed and wise women i met. did ride the bicycle till her early nineties to get some milk from the farmer.
when i quit school without exams - all were worried - but she said like a buddhist monch - he will make his way - have faith.
died at age 98. in her latest years her memory was pretty much gone, but i was fascinated of a moment, where we took a walk and she described something about a tree which i would never have noticed. what fascinated me about this was here connection with her enviroment. modern society looses more and more of this.

crazy - completely forgot this and i guess you are the first one i tell this story.

the great-grandmother on the motherside was pretty evil. she punished her son (my grandfather) by locking him outside during lightning storms. even in his 80ies he got nervous when it got stormy.


i also danced like a epileptic monkey on acid - even at some point with a collapsed lung - i made party three more days before going to the doctor :D

aw poor grandad! that is nicht gut!! bless him! btw its stormy here now!! winter is officially upon us!
my great grandmothers also made it to almost 100.. what a generation..
my super nana still goes every day at sunrise to swim in the sea! "what lock down?"
truly sad about them getting extinct.. i used to work at my dads clinic and most of the patients were very old and it would be worth it only for the story telling and being around such elegant and strong dinosaurs.. they really cannot be bothered by rubbish that tends to bring us down.. unbreakable fuckers!
and yes mate!! a true raver never gives up!! rave to the grave!

 

[DocNo]

aw poor grandad! that is nicht gut!! bless him! btw its stormy here now!! winter is officially upon us!
my great grandmothers also made it to almost 100.. what a generation..
my super nana still goes every day at sunrise to swim in the sea! "what lock down?"
truly sad about them getting extinct.. i used to work at my dads clinic and most of the patients were very old and it would be worth it only for the story telling and being around such elegant and strong dinosaurs.. they really cannot be bothered by rubbish that tends to bring us down.. unbreakable fuckers!
and yes mate!! a true raver never gives up!! rave to the grave!

yeah don't know. pretty much out of words today i guess.

but in the spirit of rave to the grave - i let my music speak to you - thats often the best language. so much stuff - i wanna share with u - starting to loose oversight already :D




and this track which i discovered not so long ago blew me away: his flow it so seamless.




edit: and in terms of flow - starting from 1:44 - like laser.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Cheers

Geo

 

[DocNo]

Cheers

Geo

the classics :D


@K-O - somehow fitting to the story of my great-grandmother

 

[K-O]

but in the spirit of rave to the grave - i let my music speak to you - thats often the best language.

word

so much stuff - i wanna share with u - starting to loose oversight already :D

i hope you stick around doc! x nuff love x

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Why do you guys have all the cool toys ?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

 

[DocNo]

and to close the day some weird videos.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

 

[DocNo]

wonderful

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Last one promise. It's churchy but good to cry and think to.


so bit of a schizo-mix =/

 

[DocNo]

ok - one last one i got too :D a short one ^^

 

[K-O]

Last one promise. It's churchy but good to cry and think to.


so bit of a schizo-mix =/

aw its not available for me baa..

ok - one last one i got too :D a short one ^^

sweet dreams you lovely bastards!

 

[Deleted member 23374]

aw its not available for me baa..

sweet dreams you lovely bastards!

Crap crapitty crap, whew. Okay look up Faith and Grace by the Blind Boys of Alabama
It's from the movie Lackawanna blues

 

[DocNo]

@K-O : saw your post in the music mega thread - i guess u know already to what i am referring when u see the image of my video posting.

this is one of these tracks which hits me deep in my core:

 

[K-O]

@K-O : saw your post in the music mega thread - i guess u know already to what i am referring when u see the image of my video posting.

this is one of these tracks which hits me deep in my core:

morning love x oh yes.. its a slow punch in my insides that is..
after my godfather passed away i chose this track to put in the playlist we made in his memory, we built a little bench with a small solar panel attached to headphones in a forest where his ashes were scattered.. so you could sit in nature and listen to the soundtrack of how he made his loved ones feel..
thank you for this morning tune dj

 

[DocNo]

sounds beautiful!
you're always welcome dear.

regarding to ninja tune and being already at page 100 in the music thread - i am surprised - that amon tobin didn't show up yet.

my first contact was this track - for a basshead like me the bassline at 1:46 is an instant turn-on. after that a highly addictive amon tobin phase followed:






edit: and of course four ton mantis. the fastest slow tracks, like on of the ninja tune guys called it.

 

[K-O]

sounds beautiful!
you're always welcome dear.

regarding to ninja tune and being already at page 100 in the music thread - i am surprised - that amon tobin didn't show up yet.

my first contact was this track - for a basshead like me the bassline at 1:46 is an instant turn-on. after that a highly addictive amon tobin phase followed:






edit: and of course four ton mantis. the fastest slow tracks, like on of the ninja tune guys called it.

yes!! mmm amon tobin well good thing we have you on board now! cause im famished!! feed me!
video specially for my favorite Doctor-

 

[DocNo]

yes!! mmm amon tobin well good thing we have you on board now! cause im famished!! feed me!
video specially for my favorite Doctor-

nice. i love marylin. saw once a photo series which was very intimate and u saw the human behind the glamouros mask. she was even more beautiful.

due to the fact that 10 percent of me is a wannabe drag - i really love alaska thunderf**k.

 

[K-O]

nice. i love marylin. saw once a photo series which was very intimate and u saw the human behind the glamouros mask. she was even more beautiful.

due to the fact that 10 percent of me is a wannabe drag - i really love alaska thunderf**k.

bitch yas!! i adore ALASKA! if you're not wearing nails you're not doing drag
(also people are actually shocked by the fact my hair is real lol.. btw have you seen the British Rupaul? lol i just loved it! so raw and skanky, not at all polished like zi americanz)

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Not sure if industrial has a place here, but here you go: