NSFW The want to have sex before i die but the utter fear of sex consumes me

[strawberry_lemons]

i know i posted recently but its close enough to midnight so its a new day or something.

let me state i have never had a good relationship with sex, i was assaulted as a toddler, almost assulted again as an early teen and was groomed for three years into frankly very disgusting behavoirs.

but i do not want to die without feeling something that is supposed to fufiling. now im ace and aro but its something i desire for curiosty.

the grooming left me with a distored view on sex and pleasure, i was young and impresonable and it made me i suppose want things that are disgusting(nothing illegal or edgy just more on the tabo side) but i suppose i worry i will ctb with out it ever happening im not the most desirable person on the planet.

thanks for reading if you did <3

 

[day]

Sex can be a complicated thing that is truly only special with the right person.

I don't understand the craving as I myself truly haven't been deprived from it however I hope you manage to get what you're looking for.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

it's a very common human desire but as astrals said, it's only really special with the right person.

given you consider yourself to be aroace, I imagine you'd find even less fulfilment from casual sex. just cus it's something so pushed in society and pop culture doesn't mean you're missing out on anything special by not having it.

there are also plenty of people who have sex, or easy access to sex and are completely unfulfilled.

 

[OICU812]

I'm sorry about your early assault and grooming. No one should have to go through that. I admit I had to look up "ace" and "aro" to see their definitions. I don't think any of us on here feel that we are the most desirable people on the planet. I know I'm definitely not. If you want to experience these things before CTB then go for it. There's a ton of sexual taboos and fetishes that people are into.

 

[dyingslowly]

i know i posted recently but its close enough to midnight so its a new day or something.

let me state i have never had a good relationship with sex, i was assaulted as a toddler, almost assulted again as an early teen and was groomed for three years into frankly very disgusting behavoirs.

but i do not want to die without feeling something that is supposed to fufiling. now im ace and aro but its something i desire for curiosty.

the grooming left me with a distored view on sex and pleasure, i was young and impresonable and it made me i suppose want things that are disgusting(nothing illegal or edgy just more on the tabo side) but i suppose i worry i will ctb with out it ever happening im not the most desirable person on the planet.

thanks for reading if you did <3

If you ever got the chance to do it with the person you are madly in love, your desire to kill yourself will go away. But sadly, in this world love is very rare, even rarer than aliens I suppose.

 

[90SecondsToMidnight]

i know i posted recently but its close enough to midnight so its a new day or something.

let me state i have never had a good relationship with sex, i was assaulted as a toddler, almost assulted again as an early teen and was groomed for three years into frankly very disgusting behavoirs.

but i do not want to die without feeling something that is supposed to fufiling. now im ace and aro but its something i desire for curiosty.

the grooming left me with a distored view on sex and pleasure, i was young and impresonable and it made me i suppose want things that are disgusting(nothing illegal or edgy just more on the tabo side) but i suppose i worry i will ctb with out it ever happening im not the most desirable person on the planet.

thanks for reading if you did <3

Sex has always been a strange thing to me personally as an Ace, so I understand you in that aspect. I do know, Or at least personally feel It should be something at least somewhat special and between people who trust and respect one another. I cant say i'd suggest settling for anything less. I also cant personally suggest having an intimate/sexual style relationship with anyone if you're planning to CTB, Especially if its soon. With all that being said, It all comes down to the person. Sex isn't a fulfilling thing for everyone, And whether or not its truly fulfilling in life is based on your feelings on it. The same fulfillment can be made by having (for example, as its different for everyone) Good quality platonic relationships. I hope perhaps all this does something for you.

 

[F Sea]

Hello.
I'm sorry about what happened to you in the past. But if you want to try it, that's fine.

Without love it is just a superficial experience.

When there is true and reciprocal love it is the most beautiful thing.
With powerful eye contact, passion and burning kisses. When you give everything to that person and receive the same implication. There are scratches on your body.
Both lovers talk in each other's arms and then continue another round later.