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AnnihilatedAnna

AnnihilatedAnna

A Joke
Apr 17, 2018
1,346
This makes me go insane.
I had this intake last week for maybe moving out of my childhood home for better living stuff. My father and I had to talk to different people separately. I went with one woman he stayed behind with another. We talked for about an hour maybe a little more. All sorts of invasive questions. We get till the end and the tell me that they cannot offer me what I need, well okay.
The reason for not having me is one I'm quite proud of actually, I'm ahead of most, if not all, the people I would be living with then. Intellectually and emotionally.

The woman I talked to analyzed the shit out of me. At the end she said that because of my parents their divorce (which was because of my mom cheating) i developed trust issues which caused me to throw most if not all the doors on my relationships closed. With that she meant the relationships with my mom, grandmother and grandfather. My aunt. In friendships I don't really do the same but my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall.

At the end of that chat thing I was like " well fuck, I knew I had trust issues but In never thought about it that way" and quite frankly I'm annoyed. Annoyed because know I'm questioning everything I've done with those relationships. I mean was it the right choice? I don't know. Well... it gave me something to think about alright.
 
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uiop

uiop

Fun drugs make me happy
Mar 27, 2019
218
This makes me go insane.
I had this intake last week for maybe moving out of my childhood home for better living stuff. My father and I had to talk to different people separately. I went with one woman he stayed behind with another. We talked for about an hour maybe a little more. All sorts of invasive questions. We get till the end and the tell me that they cannot offer me what I need, well okay.
The reason for not having me is one I'm quite proud of actually, I'm ahead of most, if not all, the people I would be living with then. Intellectually and emotionally.

The woman I talked to analyzed the shit out of me. At the end she said that because of my parents their divorce (which was because of my mom cheating) i developed trust issues which caused me to throw most if not all the doors on my relationships closed. With that she meant the relationships with my mom, grandmother and grandfather. My aunt. In friendships I don't really do the same but my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall.

At the end of that chat thing I was like " well fuck, I knew I had trust issues but In never thought about it that way" and quite frankly I'm annoyed. Annoyed because know I'm questioning everything I've done with those relationships. I mean was it the right choice? I don't know. Well... it gave me something to think about alright.
I must say, for a 15 year old, you are very well-read. I'm jealous.

I'm guessing talking to a therapist gave you an insight into your problems, a different perspective on how you see the world in relation to others? Did it help you or made things worse? My psychiatrist really wants me to see a therapist after I told him I tried to KMS. I don't think talking to a therapist will alleviate any of my problems, since I know myself best, - or at least I think I do - but I'm also scared of what will unravel in my mind. I want to be ignorant, but at the same time I want to know everything. What would you recommend?
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,029
This makes me go insane.
I had this intake last week for maybe moving out of my childhood home for better living stuff. My father and I had to talk to different people separately. I went with one woman he stayed behind with another. We talked for about an hour maybe a little more. All sorts of invasive questions. We get till the end and the tell me that they cannot offer me what I need, well okay.
The reason for not having me is one I'm quite proud of actually, I'm ahead of most, if not all, the people I would be living with then. Intellectually and emotionally.

The woman I talked to analyzed the shit out of me. At the end she said that because of my parents their divorce (which was because of my mom cheating) i developed trust issues which caused me to throw most if not all the doors on my relationships closed. With that she meant the relationships with my mom, grandmother and grandfather. My aunt. In friendships I don't really do the same but my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall.

At the end of that chat thing I was like " well fuck, I knew I had trust issues but In never thought about it that way" and quite frankly I'm annoyed. Annoyed because know I'm questioning everything I've done with those relationships. I mean was it the right choice? I don't know. Well... it gave me something to think about alright.
Hey sister, therapists have that level of training, logic and perspective that sometimes shows us things in a different light.
I'm sorry the experience left you angry. I hope over time that anger will burn less bright and you will be able find some hope and reconciliation with the difficulties you face.
In my experience I have found some therapists helpful and some not so much, but a lot of that has depended on me and my willingness to participate in the process.
Good luck.
DBD
 
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Cansado

Cansado

Qual a sensação de dormir e nunca mais acordar?
Mar 4, 2019
25
This makes me go insane.
I had this intake last week for maybe moving out of my childhood home for better living stuff. My father and I had to talk to different people separately. I went with one woman he stayed behind with another. We talked for about an hour maybe a little more. All sorts of invasive questions. We get till the end and the tell me that they cannot offer me what I need, well okay.
The reason for not having me is one I'm quite proud of actually, I'm ahead of most, if not all, the people I would be living with then. Intellectually and emotionally.

The woman I talked to analyzed the shit out of me. At the end she said that because of my parents their divorce (which was because of my mom cheating) i developed trust issues which caused me to throw most if not all the doors on my relationships closed. With that she meant the relationships with my mom, grandmother and grandfather. My aunt. In friendships I don't really do the same but my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall.

At the end of that chat thing I was like " well fuck, I knew I had trust issues but In never thought about it that way" and quite frankly I'm annoyed. Annoyed because know I'm questioning everything I've done with those relationships. I mean was it the right choice? I don't know. Well... it gave me something to think about alright.


Right and Wrong are relative. You did what was possible for you at that time. You probably did your best.
 
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AnnihilatedAnna

AnnihilatedAnna

A Joke
Apr 17, 2018
1,346
Right and Wrong are relative. You did what was possible for you at that time. You probably did your best.
That's true, it still makes me sad though, rethinking everything I've done over the last years is a bitch
I must say, for a 15 year old, you are very well-read. I'm jealous.

I'm guessing talking to a therapist gave you an insight into your problems, a different perspective on how you see the world in relation to others? Did it help you or made things worse? My psychiatrist really wants me to see a therapist after I told him I tried to KMS. I don't think talking to a therapist will alleviate any of my problems, since I know myself best, - or at least I think I do - but I'm also scared of what will unravel in my mind. I want to be ignorant, but at the same time I want to know everything. What would you recommend?
Well, i didn't know the woman but she kinda seemed to do bette than my psychologist. I would recommend you talk to one. I mean, I spoke to this one for an hour and she made me realize some stuff. But the most important thing is that you do what is best for you
 
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CoolGuy9

CoolGuy9

Mage
Mar 5, 2019
524
This makes me go insane.
I had this intake last week for maybe moving out of my childhood home for better living stuff. My father and I had to talk to different people separately. I went with one woman he stayed behind with another. We talked for about an hour maybe a little more. All sorts of invasive questions. We get till the end and the tell me that they cannot offer me what I need, well okay.
The reason for not having me is one I'm quite proud of actually, I'm ahead of most, if not all, the people I would be living with then. Intellectually and emotionally.

The woman I talked to analyzed the shit out of me. At the end she said that because of my parents their divorce (which was because of my mom cheating) i developed trust issues which caused me to throw most if not all the doors on my relationships closed. With that she meant the relationships with my mom, grandmother and grandfather. My aunt. In friendships I don't really do the same but my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall.

At the end of that chat thing I was like " well fuck, I knew I had trust issues but In never thought about it that way" and quite frankly I'm annoyed. Annoyed because know I'm questioning everything I've done with those relationships. I mean was it the right choice? I don't know. Well... it gave me something to think about alright.
This made me smile. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am and I don't see how getting help can help me. To see that you were able to see yourself differently gives me hope, because maybe the same thing can happen to me.

Also this part made me laugh for some reason "my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall."
 
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AnnihilatedAnna

AnnihilatedAnna

A Joke
Apr 17, 2018
1,346
This made me smile. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am and I don't see how getting help can help me. To see that you were able to see yourself differently gives me hope, because maybe the same thing can happen to me.

Also this part made me laugh for some reason "my walls are high and I don't really let anyone in. Except a select group of people that have been able to penetrate that wall."
Good choice of words huh? :pfff:

I suppose it is good, I am very confused now though. Gotta process it.
 
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Cansado

Cansado

Qual a sensação de dormir e nunca mais acordar?
Mar 4, 2019
25
That's true, it still makes me sad though, rethinking everything I've done over the last years is a bitch

I just wanted to send you a hug and wish that everything would be all right with you.
 
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AnnihilatedAnna

AnnihilatedAnna

A Joke
Apr 17, 2018
1,346
I just wanted to send you a hug and wish that everything would be all right with you.
Thank you! I wish you exactly the same! Hugs :happy:
 
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