Venting Think I'll give it a year

[GhostInTheMachine]

Made it to 31, that's past the last few arbitrary ages I set to do it at. This time I'm just going to give myself a year to think about and prepare for it. My life is all right at the moment, at least as all right as it can be. Yet I'm still finding the call overwhelming. At least nobody can honestly say I did it impulsively now that I've put it off this long.

So, what I'm going to do is keep on my current trajectory of improving myself bit by bit for the next 365 days. If by the end of that year, I find that I can't ignore the call effectively, then I'm heading down to the station and catching the bus. The hardest part will be breaking the news to my BF, but maybe he'll force me to stick around. I won't fight him too much unless the noise from the call is just that loud.

I already have my 2 methods figured out, hopefully won't need a plan C. What's one more year?

 

[moonlightbeach]

do it. i gave myself half a year before i attempted the first time. i really tried but it didn't get better and now i'm living a lie on the outside.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Thank you, and sorry to hear you're still struggling. I wish you the best <3

 

[unluckysadness]

I give myself 6 months. Maximum 1 year. There is no cure. I had too much hope but now at my age I'm realistic and I don't want to play this shitty game again

 

[quietwoods]

I mean this is the way it should be in a society that respects human dignity and choice.

"Do you have a terminal illness or other condition that causes a significant amount of pain and suffering?"

"No."

"Ok, wait a year and if you still want to die we'll give you some Nembutal then."

As simple and as complicated as it needs to be.