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fallingbehind

fallingbehind

Passed down like folk songs
Mar 22, 2025
30
Every sunday my brain starts melting, I cant go to work tomorrow. I cant.
My internship is Monday-Friday. Its a social work internship where I am made to interact with the most depraved of society.
At one point in time, I thought that if I could "help" others, then maybe I would be able to find some purpose, some reason to exist. But I despise my degree, and I hate work period. And if it wasnt for my dad, I wouldnt have gotten this shitty fucking job. I regret every single choice I have ever made. I wish I had died as a teenager, I wish I didnt get brainwashed into thinking I could ever make any kind of "good" impact on society, I hate that I was brainwashed into not ending it by my shrink all those years ago. She knew I had no ambition, no talent, no capability for anything beyond fucking around online all day, and she still went ahead and lied to me for months. Fuck psychiatry. Fuck work. Fuck college. Fuck this.
 
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fallingbehind

fallingbehind

Passed down like folk songs
Mar 22, 2025
30
I seriously, genuinely, need to die soon.
I keep saying "3rd year on university. 3rd year". But I have no feasible plan besides, "Ill find a cliff and Ill jump".

All I want is to get rid of my lingering fear of the unknown. To hurry up and make a real plan. To write a note thats not dogshit.

I hate having to speak to those assholes at work. I literally overheard two of my "coworkers" talking shit about me and my looks whilst I was hiding in the bathroom.

I hate her. I hate my ex-shrink with everything in my fucking soul. When I was 16 I was so fucking close to the end I could taste it, but she ruined it. I was too much of an idiot to understand what she was dooming me to.
 
fallingbehind

fallingbehind

Passed down like folk songs
Mar 22, 2025
30
I have to travel to prison on Friday to register criminals in their last few weeks for housing post release.

I despise working this job. 99% of these people take the free housing for a month and go back to killing, raping and assaulting women (not exaggerating, most of them take advantage of the opportunity and go back to crime).

In a country like mine that is in the top 10 most dangerous countries in the world, I thought my degree would be helpful to society. No, all it does is give evil a warm bed and food to eat. I dont know how the caseworkers who do this willingly sleep at night.
 
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Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Elementalist
Apr 21, 2025
869
Yeah. When you want to kill yourself those psych people become world champion liars for sure.
 
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