Story Tired of life

[Versailles]

These days were really something pleasant for me but at the same time it made me realize that even with the things that I could have or get, I still have that strange feeling that I detach from my own existence, I have fallen into a loop, and sooner or later I I'll get tired of it, but my YES is still pretty strong, seriously, I hate that, knowing that nothing in this life fills me and probably nothing will fill me is overwhelming.

My family recently reproached me for the fact that I do not have a real interest in doing something really, I am surprised by the way in which other people manage to fill that void with something as simple as religion or having a romantic partner, whatever.

Maybe I'm doing things the wrong way, but heck, living as a hikikomori away from social interactions in real life, is the only lifestyle that I tolerate and I'm really used to, but at the same time, many of me they reproach that I am wasting my life on it. Damn, now it turns out that my lifestyle is the wrong one, even though I can support myself. But if I don't like interacting with anyone, it's my fault, (strange thing because normally I don't have the dependency of wanting to interact with people in real life but they make me see that it shouldn't be like that).

So am I incompatible with life or was I just born in the wrong place? It is as if I had to justify my existence in some way, I had a hobby to draw manga, once my father burned an entire manga that he had made, 300 pages of long work, the reason: my low grades and the fact that I was away from reality and locked myself in my own world.

You failed! you are a loser, the reason: having lived year after year the way you wanted and not increasing your efforts to contribute to the system, this is the way the system punishes us for not contributing anything, and it seems so absurd to me .

I just don't like this reality, and I will look for ways to escape it while I'm still alive.

 

[bed]

Damn, now it turns out that my lifestyle is the wrong one,

There is no right way to live, nor is there an Intrinsic purpose to life. You do as you see fit. If you don't want to participate in society you do not have to.

I do not like how society operates as well. So many people seem completely fine with it which I'll never understand.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I feel ya. Society simply needs us to contribute to the system, else they go bankrupt. So the way they do that is punishing us and teaching those who raise us to punish their kids for not doing so.

The word "You don't want to do nothing with your life." were famous back then and it's famous nowadays, the problem is that some people actually want to do something, they just don't want to be a part of the system, which for them, is a heinous crime as they were trained to think like that. Indoctrinated in their ways, the ways of the system.

Well, I'm not the one to say because finding a romantic partner isn't easy for me and that played a very large role in my downfall and imminent death.
But yes, it's a part of the system.

Unfortunately the world needs as much slaves as it can get. It's like you're in the army and the drill sergeant punches you in the face every time you do something wrong. You're expected to do something in their ways. The difference is that you enlisted in the army, If you were not drafted.
Here, we were all drafted.

To keep people in line, they need to turn us into robots, don't think, don't feel, just do what you're supposed to do. And if you try to quit, you're not thinking straight, not sane, needs guidance, needs medication, needs ECT.

How many people lived their lives completely against their will? All years faking their smiles. We would not have a exact number, but I fear it's a lot.

We are the crazy ones, in a crazy universe. So good thing we are all crazy, that means we are all normal.

You didn't failed. You succeeded. Just not in their ways.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

How many people lived their lives completely against their will? All years faking their smiles. We would not have a exact number, but I fear it's a lot.

We are the crazy ones, in a crazy universe. So good thing we are all crazy, that means we are all normal.

It just sucks to be stuck in this situation in the first place when none of us asked to be born. Then we are labelled as ungrateful for not wanting to endure a poor quality of life.

I view suicide as self deliverance from decades worth of struggle, pain and humiliation. My biggest fear is that I will end up old, alone and bitter because I couldn't muster the courage to ctb.

 

[SuicideRun]

Like you, I find this reality incompatible with my mind, my way of being. I have a hard time adapting to this falsely inclusive system. I don't feel like a failure, I feel useless in this world that goes faster and faster and I slower and slower. My family, sentimentally speaking, has always been a disaster and they are making a living because it is the only thing they know how to do. I am more and more tired of this vortex that does not kill me but at the same time keeps me alive. I am close to you my friend.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am extremely tired of life. In my case, I have no interest in living and I do not want anything to do with life, I simply do not want to participate in it. All I want is to be nothing, to sleep forever. We all deserve a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, it is cruel how the society expects us to suffer for decades.