Venting tired

[hybridtheory]

Today I tried to get hit by a car.
I saw it coming and my thoughts took control over my body and pulled out in front of it. I sat there waiting, but then of course my SI took over and I ended up getting out of the way at the last second. I'm pissed now because it could've been over. I really just want someone to do it for me, it seems so much easier. I never have enough courage to do it myself and it's frustrating.

 

[cryptic_cynic]

I don't have the courage either. It just makes me feel so fucking trapped and hopeless, and pathetic, too. All I hope for is some catastrophic event...like a plane crash, mass shooting, giant earthquake, or even a nuclear strike.


Something, for fucks sake.

 

[oopswronglife]

Nah you'd likely have just been busted up and ended up in hospital. Maybe with even more permanent problems. It was fortunate you were able to avoid it. Impulsive acts have a lower chance of success anyway...so if you are convinced there is no way to survive...giving in to impulse is risky. But I am glad you are ok and still here. Maybe its another day to gain ground...maybe its another day to plan properly...but its another day.

 

[omoidarui]

plz don't do this method

you'll make at least one person's life hell: yours if you survive or the driver's if you don't. there's literally so many more reliable/peaceful methods listed here.

 

[hybridtheory]

I just can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted. I apparently can't ctb by myself or at least I don't know how to overcome my SI and I haven't came up with a method yet because I just don't know which to choose. I just want this pain and suffering to stop, I'm so alone. I'm afraid of living but I'm also afraid of dying, I don't know which one is worse.

 

[oopswronglife]

I just can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted. I apparently can't ctb by myself or at least I don't know how to overcome my SI and I haven't came up with a method yet because I just don't know which to choose. I just want this pain and suffering to stop, I'm so alone. I'm afraid of living but I'm also afraid of dying, I don't know which one is worse.

You can....it sucks...it hurts...but you CAN. I know that about you from reading your posts. Now why should you you ask? Because even if you are done...and convinced ctb is the only way...this clearly isn't the time. Get rested, plan better, set yourself up for a better chance. Maybe in that time you will find a way forward, but even if not you've done a better job ensuring your peace. No downside. You got this....I know you do.

 

[okaoki]

I just can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted. I apparently can't ctb by myself or at least I don't know how to overcome my SI and I haven't came up with a method yet because I just don't know which to choose. I just want this pain and suffering to stop, I'm so alone. I'm afraid of living but I'm also afraid of dying, I don't know which one is worse.

"I just want this pain and suffering to stop, I'm so alone. I'm afraid of living but I'm also afraid of dying"
same here .... i want something pain free , but getting hit by a car doesn't 100% do the job
but jumping at the wrong place might kill someone below you , as i watch a video a while ago.

 

[sanction]

Don't think its a good method. You may end up causing the driver lots of problems, especially if he gets accused for crashing you to death, and the authorities had no idea you were trying to CTB after you are gone. Please consider a different method that won't involve other innocent people. All the best