Venting Trying to get ready for this month.

[fettuccinee]

I cant help but feeling so..useless, especially already this early into the month.

I've been dealing with this same thing for 9 years, and each time I do attempt to see light in situations, I either shut myself down or get shut down.
I haven't felt like myself in so long, I want to feel peace preferably this month, but can wait until my birthday in April. I have a few methods I'm thinking about like SN, or just partial hanging.
I want to get it over with, I have the will, the notes, everything, I just need the action.

 

[pole]

sorry you feel this way jacob :(. the journey down ending it through planning, etc; is easy for the most part. the final step in going through with it takes such strength and courageous, and i feel envious to those who have taken that last step. society views suicides as cowardice, but it takes so much strength to go through with it. i hope however you do, through going through with it or perhaps life giving you an opportunity somehow, that you find peace and happiness. wish you all the best.