LivingANDDying26
Enlightened
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,380
I had a vivid dream of this story that was pretty cool but also really fucking annoying. My mom was in it kinda? Or a mom very similar and it disgusts me.
It just made me pissed off tbh. It also made me pissed off that my brother had the nerve to send an email asking why my phones off and doesn't even fucking reply when I send the why. Like I'm so sick of a lack of support or even saying words like "I dunno what to say" instead of fucking silence being normalized. We've fucking talked about how it makes me feel essentially abandoned as they've done many times (like physically and all) when im suicidal.
My friends would never. I deserve better thaj essentially being left on read.
I've been thinking this last week on how my family makes me feel and how they take advantage of me in ways and coming out of this isolation whether it's in death or living... I will not be talking to them very often if at all tbh.
Sick of it god the dream just pissed me off bc it made me feel so gross, uncared for and just fucking upset. Which is how I always feel around them. Like my whole body feels BLECK. think ima jus brush my teeth to refresh and try to get more sleep. Bc I was sleepy but I'm kinda annoyed right now.
I don't wanna go into huge details about being their scapegoat and only escaping it by moving 6 hrs away and even then they still are abusive.... so why do I bother? Don't fuckin kno but that's done now.
Im not gonna feel like shit forcing myself to interact.
Haaa anyway gonna go brush my teeth now and then try to sleep more. Kinda hungry but def not in the mood to eat.
It just made me pissed off tbh. It also made me pissed off that my brother had the nerve to send an email asking why my phones off and doesn't even fucking reply when I send the why. Like I'm so sick of a lack of support or even saying words like "I dunno what to say" instead of fucking silence being normalized. We've fucking talked about how it makes me feel essentially abandoned as they've done many times (like physically and all) when im suicidal.
My friends would never. I deserve better thaj essentially being left on read.
I've been thinking this last week on how my family makes me feel and how they take advantage of me in ways and coming out of this isolation whether it's in death or living... I will not be talking to them very often if at all tbh.
Sick of it god the dream just pissed me off bc it made me feel so gross, uncared for and just fucking upset. Which is how I always feel around them. Like my whole body feels BLECK. think ima jus brush my teeth to refresh and try to get more sleep. Bc I was sleepy but I'm kinda annoyed right now.
I don't wanna go into huge details about being their scapegoat and only escaping it by moving 6 hrs away and even then they still are abusive.... so why do I bother? Don't fuckin kno but that's done now.
Im not gonna feel like shit forcing myself to interact.
Haaa anyway gonna go brush my teeth now and then try to sleep more. Kinda hungry but def not in the mood to eat.
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