KillingPain267
Enlightened
- Apr 15, 2024
- 1,899
Everything I do or say is not good enough for anyone. I'm not really loved. Never have been and never will be. I told my mom that it's unethical to have kids because the kids are not asked for their consent. I said my suffering could have been prevented if she chose not to make me. She of course felt offended personally and almost freaked out, showing that it's all about muh feeeelings, not about MY feelings or even philosophical ethics. I also told my dad that I wished to die, and he said it would make HIM feel bad. So much for selflessness, lol.
I don't blame them or anyone, it's natural, but I give up the concept that humans are actually loving and good. That applies to family as well. Feelings of empathy are not proof that humans are loving. In fact it's again egocentric. If I truly care for someone, I should treat them well even if I find them repugnant or even despise them. That's the true test, not whether I feel warm inside or a tear in my eye by merely seeing them suffer and not doing anything about it.
My family, who fears I'll harm myself, just want to prevent it for their own emotional comfort. That's the harsh truth. In reality I am just a burden and nuisance. Never is it about what I want. When you think about it, your family of all people could be assisting you in exiting, making sure it's peaceful and successful, but no. Most family and "friends" just don't want to observe death and cry. It's entirely selfish.
Therapists and psychiatrists also only "help" because they get paid and/or because not preventing suicides brings them into legal trouble or at least neglect of work duties. They would not risk their careers in order to help you in what would truly end your suffering, even though they have access to the best drugs and sedatives to guarantee a peaceful exit.
Don't even get started on what society and the economy requires of you. Most systems, even complete egalitarian communism are close to slavery because you can't just opt out of contributing and they would still give you food and shelter unconditionally.
Marriage and sexual relationships are mostly based on either pure selfish momentary pleasure, discomfort of being alone, getting validation or cultural tradition. Or all of the above. Having children? Most of that is motivated by the chance to enjoy looking at cuteness, to populate abstract concepts such as lineage and nation and for your own personal nurse in old age. Reproducing yourself has to also be one of the most narcissistic things to ever exist. Why are you so great that you should be replicated?
Unconditional love doesn't exist. Yes, not even your mom truly loves you, sorry to say. Deal with it and it might give you a lot of emotional freedom. I have less and less demands for others and I judge them less, because I know they can't help but be selfish. I am selfish, so why would they be any different?
True love would mean complete surrender of self to the need of others. You should be willing to amputate limbs and be tortured for the most vile hated enemy of yours, that you forgive every time they hurt you again, if you're a person practicing true love. The faster we realize this, the sooner we can evolve (or phase out the human race).
I don't blame them or anyone, it's natural, but I give up the concept that humans are actually loving and good. That applies to family as well. Feelings of empathy are not proof that humans are loving. In fact it's again egocentric. If I truly care for someone, I should treat them well even if I find them repugnant or even despise them. That's the true test, not whether I feel warm inside or a tear in my eye by merely seeing them suffer and not doing anything about it.
My family, who fears I'll harm myself, just want to prevent it for their own emotional comfort. That's the harsh truth. In reality I am just a burden and nuisance. Never is it about what I want. When you think about it, your family of all people could be assisting you in exiting, making sure it's peaceful and successful, but no. Most family and "friends" just don't want to observe death and cry. It's entirely selfish.
Therapists and psychiatrists also only "help" because they get paid and/or because not preventing suicides brings them into legal trouble or at least neglect of work duties. They would not risk their careers in order to help you in what would truly end your suffering, even though they have access to the best drugs and sedatives to guarantee a peaceful exit.
Don't even get started on what society and the economy requires of you. Most systems, even complete egalitarian communism are close to slavery because you can't just opt out of contributing and they would still give you food and shelter unconditionally.
Marriage and sexual relationships are mostly based on either pure selfish momentary pleasure, discomfort of being alone, getting validation or cultural tradition. Or all of the above. Having children? Most of that is motivated by the chance to enjoy looking at cuteness, to populate abstract concepts such as lineage and nation and for your own personal nurse in old age. Reproducing yourself has to also be one of the most narcissistic things to ever exist. Why are you so great that you should be replicated?
Unconditional love doesn't exist. Yes, not even your mom truly loves you, sorry to say. Deal with it and it might give you a lot of emotional freedom. I have less and less demands for others and I judge them less, because I know they can't help but be selfish. I am selfish, so why would they be any different?
True love would mean complete surrender of self to the need of others. You should be willing to amputate limbs and be tortured for the most vile hated enemy of yours, that you forgive every time they hurt you again, if you're a person practicing true love. The faster we realize this, the sooner we can evolve (or phase out the human race).
