jifscrater
Member
- Apr 17, 2025
- 11
I haven't accomplished much in my life. Growing up, my family moved frequently, not just between cities, but across regions and even countries. As a result, I never had the chance to form lasting friendships or even close bonds with siblings or cousins or extended family. My early childhood, from ages 0 to 10, is a blur. I can barely recall anything from that time, except the trauma, my father's violence, my mother's emotional abuse. The memories that remain are all painful.
Ages 10 to 16 were the worst years of my life so far. I experienced racism, relentless bullying, poor academic performance, and a chaotic home environment. I had a severe stutter and could hardly complete a sentence. I avoided eye contact, never raised my voice, even in the most crowded or chaotic situations. I acted like a punching bag, passive, invisible, just trying to get through each day unnoticed.
From 16 to 20, everything becomes blurry again. I honestly can't pinpoint anything meaningful I did during that time, though I know I eventually dropped out of school.
Now I'm 26. The last six years have felt like more wasted time. I'm working at McDonald's, flipping burgers, spending my days scrolling through YouTube videos and gambling on meme coins. I eat junk food, have no motivation, and feel like I'm just existing, not living.
I've never experienced love, which is what hurts the most-especially because I'm a deeply emotional person. It wouldn't take much for me to fall for someone. I'm just craving affection, but I lack the social skills to ever make that happen. It feels like an unreachable dream.
I just wish I could drop dead and be reincarnate as a cat or something,
Ages 10 to 16 were the worst years of my life so far. I experienced racism, relentless bullying, poor academic performance, and a chaotic home environment. I had a severe stutter and could hardly complete a sentence. I avoided eye contact, never raised my voice, even in the most crowded or chaotic situations. I acted like a punching bag, passive, invisible, just trying to get through each day unnoticed.
From 16 to 20, everything becomes blurry again. I honestly can't pinpoint anything meaningful I did during that time, though I know I eventually dropped out of school.
Now I'm 26. The last six years have felt like more wasted time. I'm working at McDonald's, flipping burgers, spending my days scrolling through YouTube videos and gambling on meme coins. I eat junk food, have no motivation, and feel like I'm just existing, not living.
I've never experienced love, which is what hurts the most-especially because I'm a deeply emotional person. It wouldn't take much for me to fall for someone. I'm just craving affection, but I lack the social skills to ever make that happen. It feels like an unreachable dream.
I just wish I could drop dead and be reincarnate as a cat or something,
