Venting weird feeling, does anyone else get this?

[mold]

So I've been working on myself mentally, trying to get more stable, but I've recently had a huge (positive) change in my life, which is stressing me out more. I've moved to a completely different country all on my own, I speak the language but I don't have many new/close friends. it's really far from my home so I struggle talking to my old friends because of time difference, and a lot of the people in my field are younger than me so I struggle to connect with them.

That being said, maybe the stress of all this has triggered this but I've just been feeling pretty low the whole time I've been here BUT I'm not suicidal. Maybe it's just a weird depression but I'm not suicidal but I don't want to be alive either? It's a very complicated feeling, I have basically no suicidal ideation like I used to but I also have no will to live? Idk it's weird, and I wanted to know if anyone else feels/felt this way before. Much love to you all always

 

[cali22♡]

I am really happy that you are no longer at risk of ctb. . . yes, it is difficult to get along alone in another country. . . maybe you should go to parties, events etc. to really make completely new contacts then you almost have a "new" life and usually don't need to end it because it's new. . .
In addition, the stress is part of emigration. . . my parents told me where they emigrated that they only had 100 bucks a month and a water boiler and they rebuilt everything from the beginning. . .

It really is part of emigrating

Good luck building a new beautiful life

Enjoy the time

Take care of yourself
Thank you

 

[AvaCutey]

Do you have any goals for your life? Most happiness in life comes from consistently working towards your goals, once you achieve one or a few and don't replace them you will feel empty and aimless

 

[-Link-]

"I don't want to be alive" and "I have no will to live" are pretty strong statements. Maybe they seem tame compared to other things we see on this forum, but as a matter of psychiatry, you're looking at a passive suicidal ideation.

This is a pretty common thing. It's also a giant warning sign to fight it with everything you can to avoid entering a downward spiral. Whatever you've learned through working on your mental health, this is the time to apply those techniques and throw everything you have at it.

 

[probablysoon]

Whatever happens, good luck on your new adventure in your new country

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe it's the anxiety/ fear of being in a new place. I think I have gone through similar when I've started again in life. Not in a different country though- that's very brave. But yeah, I think I just felt more nervous than anything else settling in to a new job, trying not to mess it up so- for larger time periods, I was too on egde/ too focussed to be so suicidal.

 

[kat6]

First of all, congratulations! That's no small feat! You're a badass for chasing your goals and moving by yourself.

I can 100% relate to that feeling…. In my case, I have always struggled "just existing". I've always had to be chasing some crazy goal, planning some big thing with all my heart and soul, but whenever I got those things I worked so hard for, I could never really enjoy them. I felt empty, low and alienated. So onto the next…

I have a very difficult time just living life in the moment, and being content just enjoying the company of normal people. lol I have to be chasing something at all times.