Existence to me is the opposite of enjoyable, I see it as the most cruel, torturous burden to exist and the fact that this existence was imposed is the most terrible tragedy to me. Non-existence is all I see as positive and is the only relief for me, I just wish for no more suffering, I'd never wish to be conscious of anything at all, I find it so deeply undesirable to exist and I'd never wish for any of this no matter what. I always suffer so much from how peaceful death is so cruelly denied for me with the suffering and torture of human existence seen as to force and prolong no matter what, to me existence is enslavement and I suffer simply from existing, to me existing really is just waiting to die.