Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[littlelungs]

My depression has been particularly severe the past week or so, and that's saying a lot. Like... aside from the flashbacks I feel completely dead as far as experiencing emotions goes, but at the same time my mind actually hurts.

My appetite has also gone down significantly. I ordered a small order of soup from my favourite restaurant today because I need to eat eventually but my chronically piss-poor physical condition combined with this particularly bad dip in my depression is just too bad to make anything myself, and I figured, why not treat myself to something nice... but I really struggled through it.

I'm staying away from the news lately because all it does is show me how much we're failing as a species. This world and what humans are capable of genuinely terrifies me.

Going to sleep now. Hoping for a temporary escape in going so, free of nightmares. One can only hope.

 

[y'ffre]

I am sick of myself, my life... I want to be someone else, anyone but me. I don't want to see this face in the mirror anymore. I don't want to be in this body.
I want to off myself and be reborn as someone else. I am full of hate and can feel it all the time it never disappears!

 

[girlsboysthems]

sad

 

[leaf23]

So tired and defeated.

Tldr;
Had a bad dream waking up. Good thing I was still groggy so I went back to sleep hoping lucid dreaming would give me a happy dream and erase the bad one. Only had a meh dream so the nightmare is still lingering in my thoughts despite all my efforts.

Then had to deal with someone pushy trying to make me do something. Feel so pressured since I have a people-pleasing personality. Tried thinking about this positively in that that person most prolly thinks that their just helping, that their way is the best way but I just feel so drained dealing with them, trying to politely refuse. I feel as if my soul's being sucked out. Seeing signs that this whole event is pushing me to a major depressive episode so I'm trying to be optimistic and see the bright sides of this event, doing all those coping techniques, but it's so hard. It's so hard and I'm tired.

 

[Lullaby]

I reached back out to a friend who's currently struggling too to check on them, and I explained to them I'm going through it myself, and that's why it took a few days to reply.

Their response was to let them know when I wasn't…I really hate people. I'm always there for others, even when I'm at my worst, but I rarely get the same in return. I just feel really unwanted in this world. I can't wait to leave…

 

[EyeHearMusic]

I'm really desperate to die

May I ask why?

I get this. So many people want for there to be an afterlife but for me, I just want everything to end when I die. One life is way too much already, I don't need a life after this.

You really wouldn't want another shot at it? Just to see if it's lived differently?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Tired and anxious.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry tired no able do any this rly rly hople all dtruort

 

[soonitwontbea]

I have pneumonia and feel like garbage. Was a struggle to even go out and get on the (literal) bus yesterday, and I got extremely out of breath. I'm pretty sure I can't call off work anymore like I did the last 2 days because I'm almost out of paid time off and our vacation days and sick days both come out of that pot. Used so much paid time off last year being in the hospital 3 times within 3 months for being suicidal. So it's almost all gone and I worry about the trip I planned for May. I requested the length of time off I need and my supervisor said she'd build me a trip with a combination of requested days and PTO. Not sure how much I will need but I doubt I could get it with only requested days. Plus I am supposed to be going to a concert soon. Some days I don't see much more to live for than those few plans.

 

[ShadowsFall]

I'm annoyed at myself. I keep making excuses not to go out and work (too late in the day, rather catch up on sleep, too exhausted, weather, will pull a double or even a triple shift tomorrow to make up for everything, etc). I know from my little experience earlier this month, continuing down this road is only going to result in consequences I would not like to experience again. I have a valid excuse for not working today, but it still doesn't validate any previous days I could have worked, but didn't.

Wondering why my electric is so fucking high this month. I actually used less electricity this month than last, and last months bill was actually cheaper.

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

Good for you! One thing at a time!

(also why is it so easy to root for others to do well in their lives but when it's my life, I'm just... meh. hahaha)

because you know yourself best and (given that none of us are perfect altruists) therefore know that thing you did (or didn't do) that is just so unforgivable that you have no choice but to see yourself as a bad person (at least that's how it is for me, lemme kno if it makes sense to u)

 

[NeverEnding]

Tired, drained, flatness, despair. I just want to sleep and not wake up.

 

[Zegers]

How difficult life is when you don't feel good in your skin, in the skin you are on earth with, it complicates everything a lot.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry dprss seee life move rime make trap, all awful wat do no help no any all lose

 

[ShadowsFall]

I really hate dreaming when I sleep anymore. Its rather difficult for me to describe exactly what is exactly going on. The best way that i can would be if I had the choice between the dreams as they are now and a very vivid nightmare, I would choose the nightmare. It used to be a once in a while occurrence. Now it's a constant. I'm tired of waking up frustrated and depressed. It's bad enough during the waking hours, I think about the stuff in the back of my mind almost to the point of being some sort of mantra, as a result of conditioning. Trying to maintain a facade of appearing as if nothing is wrong is a daily struggle. Sleep used to be a temporary escape from the shit i think about on a daily basis. Unfortunately I don't even have that privilege anymore.

 

[drmihilo]

I feel terrible sadness. As if he had lost something. Something native. Although I'm pretty embarrassed to say it lol, this "loss" is my favorite series. Isn't it hard to lose something you've become attached to, even if it's just fictional characters created to make money from artists and producers? It's hard, even if it sounds funny... :)

 

[WearyHSP]

Tired, so tired.
Afraid.
Alone.

I wasn't in a rush to ctb but right now it feels like the time has come. My rent is going up and I'm on a fixed income. My stomach won't stop hurting from anxiety. I feel powerless to get help (the system doesn't work for people like me who are disabled and therefore poor.) I'm so afraid either I won't have the courage to take this long awaited step, or if I do, I'll mess it up (sn).

 

[melancholyxx]

Currently on my way to class. I'm tired and sleepy. Public transportation is so crowded. I want to go back to bed :P

 

[w@yn3sw0rld]

My back fucking hurts and I feel useless

 

[greedydeath]

i feel dead. i feel like these are my final moments in this earth and i'm living on borrowed time. and not in a playful "live everyday like it was ur last" way but more like i'm gonna die soon so might as well not do anything. not even brush my teeth or get up from the bed to eat. it's been like that for weeks. i'm on countless of antidepressants and shit but nothing works and i feel like anytime soon i'm actually going to die. maybe by my own hands or something else i don't know. but i have this weird feeling that my body knows the end is coming soon.

 

[NeverEnding]

Tired, Numb

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Scared, sad , overwhelmed

 

[disarmingbaby]

the feeling of "oh shit, i'm not ill enough for them." they'll never accept me as mentally ill. i'm just making excuses. "oh, you cut? let me see. stop, those aren't that deep."not deep enough. not bulimic enough, not sick enough, not sad enough.

 

[random496677]

I fee sad. I feel absolutely destroyed. I feel helpless. I feel like I am a burden. I feel unwanted and unworthy. I just feel like shit essentially. I have been rejected my whole life and I'm tired.

 

[leaf23]

Numb.

Normal people don't want my ugliness, my weaknesses. Tried opening up and reaching out to someone and they didn't just slam the door to my face but stomped all over me too. This is why I wear a mask and don't disclose my mental health issues in real life. Trying to recover and having hope only for it to push me back to zero sucks.

 

[CTB Dream]

Not want stay anymr this ptsd cptsd add injury damage trama etc , this brain vege all day worse dtriort, need mthod ,if mthod peace have do now

 

[xthebesttrash:3]

sad. i just wanna sleep all day

 

[Kusogaki]

tired, lonley, weak

 

[random496677]

Numb.

Normal people don't want my ugliness, my weaknesses. Tried opening up and reaching out to someone and they didn't just slam the door to my face but stomped all over me too. This is why I wear a mask and don't disclose my mental health issues in real life. Trying to recover and having hope only for it to push me back to zero sucks.

Yeah it totally sucks when you think you have a chance with the one person you thought to completely understand you just to have them be the one to tear your heart out your chest.

 

[Toji]

right now? honestly i feel numb