What brought you to ss? (story/discussion)

[TAW122]

What was it that brought you to this site/forum? In my case, it dates back all the way to the previous summer. So several years ago, I first found a subreddit on reddit that allows discussion of suicide without all the pro-life rhetoric, judgment, talk-down, and spam shit flung all over. That subreddit was called SanctionedSuicide and it's sister subreddit, while smaller, was TrueSanctionedSuicide. I first found some solace there because I wanted to have an open, honest, no talk-downs, judgment, and just genuine support. At some time, method discussion was allowed but I joined just some time after method discussion was banned as per reddit policy. It was summer 2016 and I quickly felt at home there. It wasn't until March 2018, that scummy ass reddit admins and of course the greater public took down those subreddits and then things fell into disarray. TimeToGo and FreeToGo were created subsequently after r/SS and r/TSS were banned. Things were just slowly stabilizing a bit until late July 2018. Reddit started to clamp down again, posts were being censored and of course, to add insult to injury, being bombarded by the shitty fucking suicide prevention hotline number (I cringe every time I see that number).

Alas, in late August 2018, I was desperate to find another community and another replacement for what r/SS was and what not, knowing how reddit is like a communist platform, and also lack of methods, I looked into this forum/site. It allowed methods, it allowed discussion of suicide from a philosophical perspective, allowed others to vent, and also people are generally kind and nice (sometimes there are disagreement but generally civil and respectful), so I decided to join here. Ever since then, I've always felt like home here.

Furthermore, thanks to method discussion, I have felt less anxious and at least have some modicum of power and control over my life as I know I am closer to obtaining the means to reliably end my shitty life (that I never consented to). Another thing I wanted to mention was that my username, thrw_a_way1221221 was originally from years ago when I first used reddit and didn't want any identifiable information on me and wanted to remain as anonymous as possible so I just picked a generic username and tacked on random numbers to it. If I had to choose again, I'd generally like to be referred to TAW122 as it is short hand for throw away and the '122' is just so it's not as confusing. Either way, if people refer to me as thrw_a_way1221221, I'm fine with that as well (just a bit more time consuming and effort to type).

Anyways, feel free to share your stories or discuss what brought you here to this site.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I spent months on the shitty Suicide Watch sub on Reddit because I didn't know about this site. I got really fed up seeing how infested it is with numbskull pro-lifers spouting meaningless platitudes on every post. I felt really invalidated, angry and depressed. And like you said, that fucking suicide prevention hotline number is annoying.

Also, I felt desperate to discuss methods but as you know SW is heavily censored. I found the lostallhope site which has info on methods but I needed people like me to talk to. Then I stumbled across this site two weeks ago and I love it. I found the link while I was looking through the TimeToGo and FreeToGo subreddits, reading what shit had gone down.

Just by being here for nearly two weeks I've found my method (SN) and now for the first time in years I feel at peace. I know that I'll be gone by March and this has helped lift my depression. This site is awesome, with lovely people to chat to and amazing mods. For once I feel validated and not shunned about being suicidal. This feels like my safe space.

 

[therhydler]

I stumbled across this site accidentally while researching methods and tips on how to make ctb easier and I am so happy I found it. Just knowing that there are people who will not look down on me for being suicidal or try to persuade me out of it and say stuff like "things will get better slowly" or crap like "you were happy before in your life, this is proof that you can be happy again!", but instead respect my choice and wish me peace, and even advise me on how to make the end less painful, is heartening. I never thought I would find something like this. I actually signed up here while in a psych ward, were I spent 99% of the time researching things about suicide. The doctors all looked pleased when they let me out believing they had made a contribution to me "feeling better"

 

[Jodes]

I actually signed up here while in a psych ward, were I spent 99% of the time researching things about suicide. The doctors all looked pleased when they let me out believing they had made a contribution to me "feeling better"

Sure makes me feel better than any ward

 

[Severen]

I turned to reddit first but then they banned the sub for people who want to CTB. And then another sub was created to replace it. And it became infested with life worshiping cultists, trying to talk people out of CTBing with platitudes, trolls and other people I dislike or hate...

 

[Jodes]

I'll keep it brief. I was suicidal, I need a forum because it's the best social medium for me. Found a post of someone saying "is this the only pro-choice

I turned to reddit first but then they banned the sub for people who want to CTB. And then another sub was created to replace it. And it became infested with life worshiping cultists, trying to talk people out of CTBing with platitudes, trolls and other people I dislike or hate...

Makes me even more grateful for this place.

 

[Severen]

I'll keep it brief. I was suicidal, I need a forum because it's the best social medium for me. Found a post of someone saying "is this the only pro-choice

Makes me even more grateful for this place.

The "tough love" people would show up at reddit. So annoying.

 

[Help_Me]

I was just searching the deep web for a place where people can share their thoughts and methods. I was so surprised SS was already in the clear net all that time.

 

[slowlystarve]

i found this site while researching methods months back

 

[none666]

i found it on r/2meirl42meirl4meirl when the SS subreddit got banned, checked it out, and made an account because i'm hella suicidal and want to talk to people that genuinely understand what it's like to want to die

 

[Lefty]

I found this site while looking for easy methods to CTB. I found this forum, I lurked a bit before I joined. Its nice to find a forum where there are no toxic pro-lifers and whatnot. People on here understand depression, mental illness and all that, because everyone on here is suffering from some form or another.

 

[Norest4thewicked]

Stumbled upon ss while researching methods. Spent months just watching. Some of the nicest non judgmental people I've (never) met.

 

[Final Escape]

The "tough love" people would show up at reddit. So annoying.

Reddit has become terrible with the censoring.

 

[[NoName]]

I was in a hellhole loop of being suicidal and then "cheerful" and then suicidal. I can't remember exactly what happened because I used to be frenzied whenever I was searching for information. I do remember at one point I had sort of found out about this place, but had forgotten what this site was called and had to find it again.

I was looking up methods of killing myself, and saw that there were forums for people to talk about it. For me, just talking about things makes me feel better. So I began to frantically look for suicide forums, at one point I heard about sanctioned suicide and found this place. The other forums just weren't a good fit for me.

 

[MMNZ91]

Found on Reddit and I'm dealing with this inescapable pain (as far as I know as) on a daily basis that I can hardly bare

 

[SiArc]

Found this on am article about pro-choice suicide sites and their impact. Couldn't stand those who could not understand and wanted to find a good place to talk to people. Heard about it years ago though through a t.v. special or something.

 

[15dec]

I was on lostallhope trying to find as much information on partial hanging as possible. After failing twice I just kept googling it to try and figure out what I was doing wrong. Ended up on dozens of pro-life websites, one of them essentially saying "you might be depressed, have crippling pain, debt but think of these people with bigger problems who are still smiling, you're not" which made me feel more like shit tbh. Then I tried going on alt.suicide.methods but didn't really like it, and then stumbled across this site