What has your routine been like recently?

[Meena]

Wake up at 5 am
Meditation
Stretching
Go to work
Training
Read books/play piano/watch something/play games
Meditation
Stretching
Go to sleep

I skipped eating food and taking showers as it's usual.

U don't seem to me suicidal at all. I envy you with that routine

 

[Plankter]

Wake up
Hate myself and everything
Sleep

 

[Meena]

Sleeping , eating which i enjoy very much, taking xanax pills that i mix sometimes with vodka. Every method that can attenuate the pain is welcome.
Used to read books a lot watching documentary or cultural programmes , exercise , pray.
I can't do it anymore. I think i should get helped by a psychiatrist and maybe try to take antidepressant .

 

[CRM]

Wake up
Be annoyed
Check this site
Check 8chan
Check Reddit
Start writing and/or playing games until I get bored
Be miserable and wonder why I don't just kill myself right now
Repeat from step 2
Go to sleep

 

[Querry1]

U don't seem to me suicidal at all. I envy you with that routine

I try to keep it up, if I will fail that routine I'm going to fall deep into the darkness

 

[anurgetowardlove]

I sleep a lot (naps), but I get up early. I have animals, and they're really the only reason I bother getting up at all. They need to be fed and tended to, which gives me some kind of direction. I usually have breakfast, then go to my appointment if I have one. I have to lay down a lot because I'm usually in pain, so I do things very intermittently.

I have two or three people I talk to regularly, so I spend most of the day texting in between everything else. Sometimes I might text someone for 3-4 hours nonstop (this helps because I am always so fucking bored). I also read a lot, mostly science articles and written porn. I usually watch porn about midday and masturbate. Depending on the day, I might go to the city and have sex with my ex boyfriend. Usually in his car. That usually happens 1-2 times a week. I have to schedule times for myself to leave the house, or I will literally stay and not leave until there is no food left for either me or the animals.

I usually shower around midday. Do basic hygiene. If I'm at my worst, I may skip a few days of taking care of myself. This means I'll wear the same clothes, not brush my teeth or hair or even really get up much. I usually forget to eat lunch.

My main issue is being bored. It's hard for me to do ANYTHING. It's to the point where it's almost always intolerable how fucking bored out of my skull I am. I don't care about anything, I don't want anything, so it's easier to just lay in bed and do nothing. If I'm doing anything, I do it all together: I will have a movie playing, and my laptop will be open and I'll be reading, and I'll have my headphones on listening to music. To begin with, I can barely watch television. That's where the next part comes in.

I get really, really stoned a lot. It helps me function so I can sit and watch tv for more than a few minutes, or play a bit of a videogame or something. It usually makes me sick (the weed), so I have to eat dinner before I get to that part. It's weird, but I'm used to the routine. I smoke to sleep, usually, which is how I can take naps throughout the day. Later at night I sometimes watch a movie with my roommate, then go to bed. He's also suicidal, and although we don't get along very well, I think we sit in the same room together for company. It's better than feeling like you're slowly dying alone, I guess.

 

[BxK]

Wake up at 7 AM.
Eat.
Play video games for two or so hours.
Workout for an hour and a half.
Shower.
Play video games.
Lose myself and reflect on my despair for a bit.
Workout to the point of near collapse once it's dark outside.
Take a shower.
Play video games.

Oh, and while that's all going on, there is a constant feeling of hating others and the world, and wanting myself to die.

That's been my life for the past three years since I graduated highschool.

 

[FadedMemory]

I wake up really late.
Do chores until noon.
Have lunch.
Lie in bed/listen to music/watch youtube videos/cry till the evening.
Have dinner.
Sleep.