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Hecubaa

Hecubaa

Member
Sep 30, 2024
36
My pets. They are my main reason to take care of myself so that I can take care of them.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,036
Music and making art.

I've been thinking as I'm struggling to find work at a certain point I don't have a lot of hope of ever finding work. I'm terrified of being homeless but fear is all that motivates me and it scares me, because it used to be music, art, and learning new things. I am so scared right now that my art isn't reason enough to stay
I am in such awe of you, as far as I love music and all types of art, really love going to art museums, however I cannot even draw a stick figure, nope nada never.

Folks who have such talent, to me at least, are just WOW as far as I have always wished that I could paint, draw and carry a tune.

If I sing, it is like a fire alarm going off, everyone heads for the doors!

Lots of caring thoughts and the knowledge that you are a very talented and gifted soul.

Walter
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,237
This forum <3 but I don't have any solid reason, I am quite interested in the after-life but I can't die until I finish my bachelor's. I like researching schizophrenia, I also like helping with my disability/accessibility club on campus
I currently am despising college but I also gave myself one condition when I started. I will not ctb until I finish my degree, so I can hard relate to this one. I'm trying to hang on until I complete my degree and see what happens from there.

or ctb after a diagnosis that will leave me incapable of caring for myself. Like Alzheimers or Parkinson's or something like that.
This is a definite fear of mine and certainly a reason I'd ctb. This and cancer are my biggest fears in terms of illness and unfortunately, cancer seems to run in my family. Both my grandparents and some great grandparents experienced lung cancer. My grandparents both smoked for over 20 years, maybe even 30. I've never smoked but I have been around so much secondhand smoke, even as a baby. Other cancers too, like colon and kidney, have happened in my family.

Music and making art.

I've been thinking as I'm struggling to find work at a certain point I don't have a lot of hope of ever finding work. I'm terrified of being homeless but fear is all that motivates me and it scares me, because it used to be music, art, and learning new things. I am so scared right now that my art isn't reason enough to stay
I commend you for pushing through and I sincerely hope you can find work soon so you don't have to fear homelessness. I don't mean this in any way, but it seems like fast food places
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,753
Meditation and trying to help others.
 
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Warlord's Pulse

Warlord's Pulse

Time to end this endless war
May 27, 2024
202
To stay alive I try to think "I need to live long enough for the next season of X tv show to come out" or "I need to read all the Stephen King books first." I want to travel more if I can ever afford it and get more tattoos. I want to date someone of the same sex. I would love to see my chemical romance live. Learn more Spanish or another language. Spend more time making memories with the people I love.

It's really really hard. But I'm still here
That part resonates a lot with me, waiting for something. But I have very specific tastes, and for that the content I like is not widely available, so yeah my waiting time tends to be long.
 
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TANETS

TANETS

Droplets of rain rest on the faces like tears
Nov 11, 2024
70
So much to do before I go
 
scarecrowceb

scarecrowceb

Crybaby
Nov 13, 2024
45
Girls make me numb drugs make me number and I hate doing these things
 
.twilight.girl.

.twilight.girl.

Living off of miracles.
Aug 19, 2023
32
In full transparency I use suicide ideation as a coping method and thinking "I can ctb tomorrow just not today" has helped me a lot. And I know I have it as a legitimate way out of the poverty and physical and mental pain. And I'm doing some planning just in case I do ctb.

I try to make rules for myself like I'm not allowed to ctb when I'm on my period or really really exhausted or on a loved ones birthday/ holiday in an effort to extend my life.

My main goal is living long enough for something else to take me out so I don't hurt my family extra with suicide.

To stay alive I try to think "I need to live long enough for the next season of X tv show to come out" or "I need to read all the Stephen King books first." I want to travel more if I can ever afford it and get more tattoos. I want to date someone of the same sex. I would love to see my chemical romance live. Learn more Spanish or another language. Spend more time making memories with the people I love.

It's really really hard. But I'm still here
I can really relate to you.
Keep on keeping on.
 
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HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
305
I don't want to hurt my parents and friends. Also the pain and SI.
 
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