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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,426
I am not sure whether I already made such a thread. I think yes but the search box does not function.
A David Foster Wallace interview reminds me so much of bittersweet melancholia. I try to write what he said during the interview.

interviewer: Is there a presumption that sadness is a somehow fuller than the opposite emotional effect?
DFW: "It seems to be at 42 that the older one gets the more autumnal one gets that what gives a lot of emotions resonance is a sense of finitude and a kind of bittersweetness and it is acutally quite beautiful but it also may be that I'm just kind of sick and need some sort of medication and that in fact joy and dancing and lightheartedness is the real thing forming (?) all of that. I am probably looking forward to my 50s."

To give some context. DFW was severely depressed for decades and killed himself 4 years after this interview.

I have to say I think a lot about bittersweet melancholia. Whether a part of me likes to be sad. Of course most of it is pain and unnecessary suffering. But I tend to being unhappy. Sometimes I also tend to pity myself too much. At the same part I should not feel guilty about it. Life gave me a horrible hand ad I make the best out of it.

There are different forms of bittersweet sadness I can think of.

For example when one chooses to watch a very sad movie. It can feel cathartic to do that and to cry for hours. I usually don't do that. But there were some movies were I cried a little bit. I wish my life would only be a horror movie and I could turn it off.

I think what reminds me the most of bittersweet melchancholia is the music I listen to. For example Linkin Park, Juice WRLD or Lil Peep. Some songs are so beautiful and sad at the same time. Sadness can chill and relax me. Not always depression also was very agitating in the past. But as a counterform of mania it can stabilize me to come down. The songs are also about depression, abuse and suicide. This is why I feel less lonely when I listen to them.

Moreover another form of melancholia. The fact that everyone of us will day one day. Memento mori. Our loved ones will die and we too. And there is nothing we can do about it except trying to make the best out of it. For me the notion of nothingness after death comforted me. On the other hand I am very anxious what will drive me to the end. I expect nothing good.

Furthermore there is sadness in all humans and that units us. (not sure whether that point is a good one) Everyone is sometimes sad. Sadness is a reaction when we lose something that was important to us. Of course we grieve in such a moment because it meant so much to us. But the fact to have something which is precious makes it at the same time vulnerable because all things will naturally come to its end one day. I could imagine for people who lost something which was pretty important to them makes it difficult to commit oneself to new deep connections. Often it needs time to heal.

One thing to add: One probably also has to differentiate between sadness because your pet died when you were 5 and a clinical illness. Many people try to describe depression as deep sadness. I read the description. It is like a loved one dies only much worse and way longer. And the pain (over a certain period) never vanishes. I think it is pretty difficult to describe depression because there are different forms and everyone has his/her own form. I can describe some parts of my depression (my agitation) quite well. The emotional level is harder for me to put in words. Maybe in another thread.

What are your association with bittersweet sadness/melancholia?
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
10,069
I'm a very melancholy person definitely. I think I am guilty of wallowing in self pity. I think it can happen more when you are isolated- as you tend to reflect a lot. Plus, you're only responsible for yourself- you don't need to feel guilty about bringing anyone else down.

Bittersweet is an interesting concept. I imagine you're only likely to start experiencing it when you have eperienced some amount of hope or joy in life, followed by immense disappointment or sadness. It can become a kind of defence mechanism- don't enjoy this TOO much because it is likely to be taken away from you. I definitely relate to that one. I do TRY not to become too attached to things I am likely to loose.

I suppose bittersweet does make sense to me. Like you said- many things in life end or die. There is a sort of sadness in things that we are ultimately going to loose.

What doesn't make a great deal of sense to me is why I will cry at simply beautiful things. Very beautiful music will make me cry. That doesn't necessarily have an elment of death to it... Still- I suppose certain pieces of music will make me think of my parents (not necessarily because they listened to it- more of an abstract connection.) My Mum is dead- so- that makes me sad. I suppose I feel sad about my Dad because I know how I'll feel when he has gone also and I hear that music again. I suppose it is all death at the end of the day! Even if the connection is more abstract.