Discussion What is stopping you from CTB today?

[CravingPeace]

Besides lack of supplies, what is stopping you from CTB today? What is keeping you around for another day right now?

For me, it is my dog. He has been here for me through repulsive times and yet he still loves me. I'm afraid of breaking his heart. Still, I find more comfort daily in knowing that I can always leave him with my closest friend if things get too hard for me. I just fear the idea of him wanting me to return when I wouldn't be.

I also don't want to leave my closest friend with thinking he could've done more to save me. He has already done so much to make me feel loved and I don't want him to feel that these things were fruitless. However, if the suffering gets too much, I will have to explain in detail that it's not his fault.

 

[LunarEc]

Nothing, other than that I lack the proper method and resources for it.

 

[vercabow]

unfinished goodbye thread

 

[Sayoki]

Unfinished story.

 

[sadalways]

The stupid "hope" that i'll wake up with my anxiety magically gone and a small fear of the "what happens after". Obviously i know my anxiety wont be gone. So i'm just trying to get over the fear of the unknown, really. That and there's one show i want to watch, if i can hold out.

 

[glenn]

SI and chances of being failed

 

[conquest_gold]

Mostly my own plan. I want to clean my room and burn all my stuff. I don't have anything to hide honestly. It's a weird combo of not wanting to leave a mess for everyone else to deal with and really not wanting anyone else to mess with my things even when I'm gone.

 

[DivineSpark]

Loving kind family and friends, I am blessed in that department. I dont want to hurt them, I dont want to cause them any pain. I have to stay strong.

 

[manicstreetbeeper]

i'm just not eating. i thought it was really getting better but i am still so depressed and anxious.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me it's the fact I'm so cruelly denied the option to just permanently stop suffering, I'll always see so much cruelty in how I cannot just have the option to just cease existing in peace even know this existence that just causes problems there were never a need for and suffering all for the sake of it was so tragically imposed. I'd just never wish for existence rather I only hope for non-existence, only ceasing to exist could ever be positive for me and I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer in this futile, torturous existence just to die in agony from old age, I always suffer so much from how painless death is denied for me, it's so painful to be trapped in this existence just waiting to die anyway, I wish I could just choose to never exist ever again.

 

[WanderingTiger]

I understand you deeply and hope you can find all the joy and peace you seek. I'm not here yet due to a lack of resources, as I could easily pursue one of the methods I have in mind. I'm here for my family, my dog, my animals, and my only online friend (even though he doesn't completely understand me and speaks poorly of those who consider suicide; I just don't want to make him suffer or anything like that because he has helped me with some problems). I couldn't abandon them and make them suffer because of my death, and I would hate to have been just a burden to my family, even after they have done everything for me. My dog and my animals have always been with me in difficult moments, so I continue to stay alive and endure everything for them. When I do eventually follow through with what I want, I hope to resolve everything that is pending so I can leave with a clear mind and without regrets.

 

[Languish]

I am too tired to try. There is a level of depression so lethargic, as to be nearly catatonic. The thought of putting in any effort in an attempt to die feels like too, too much.

 

[moya117]

i fear my family will go crazy if im gone, si too ofc

 

[living4others]

SI and my family is keeping me from CTB today.

 

[Skylar6]

Besides lack of supplies, what is stopping you from CTB today? What is keeping you around for another day right now?

For me, it is my dog. He has been here for me through repulsive times and yet he still loves me. I'm afraid of breaking his heart. Still, I find more comfort daily in knowing that I can always leave him with my closest friend if things get too hard for me. I just fear the idea of him wanting me to return when I wouldn't be.

I also don't want to leave my closest friend with thinking he could've done more to save me. He has already done so much to make me feel loved and I don't want him to feel that these things were fruitless. However, if the suffering gets too much, I will have to explain in detail that it's not his fault.

I'm pretty sure I have perfected the method and have the resources. Just waiting until I have the house to myself for a few hours, which could be tomorrow or the day after.

 

[Pon]

I sense within me, tasks of mine yet lingering, and thus I would not be satisfied with my passing.

 

[daeneyss]

the overprotection of my parents, I am 24 years old and suffering as much as possible without any cure, every day a nightmare. There is no solution, we only have to live a daily terror or eternal liberation CTB what we don't want. Because I wish there was a magic wand that would take away what we suffer and endure. Relive.

 

[outrider567]

Nothing at all, just 20 steps to the Nitrogen tank, flip the switch, put on the EEBD Hood, lie down, and then oblivion

 

[Mav]

Fear of failure, yet again!!!!

I am too tired to try. There is a level of depression so lethargic, as to be nearly catatonic. The thought of putting in any effort in an attempt to die feels like too, too much.

I get this. Absolutely! This a whole different realm of suffering that no one can even begin to comprehend unless you're experiencing it! Sending a big hug!

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Many things. While I have a failed marriage my wife is a double amputee and I can't abandon someone that only has me to rely on. I also have cats and I don't want to be without me, the last thing is I'm a coward. if I chose to CTB it would have to be quick to where my sympathetic nervous system can't kick in. Taking something and having the waiting game would cause a panic attack.

 

[UglyLife82]

I'm too scared

 

[dontwakemeup]

You wake up alive and to more problems! It's not worth it. I'll just take my sleeping pills and sleep the day away..again

 

[SVEN]

People depending on me to look after them.

 

[TransTaxEvader]

Besides lack of supplies, what is stopping you from CTB today? What is keeping you around for another day right now?

For me, it is my dog. He has been here for me through repulsive times and yet he still loves me. I'm afraid of breaking his heart. Still, I find more comfort daily in knowing that I can always leave him with my closest friend if things get too hard for me. I just fear the idea of him wanting me to return when I wouldn't be.

I also don't want to leave my closest friend with thinking he could've done more to save me. He has already done so much to make me feel loved and I don't want him to feel that these things were fruitless. However, if the suffering gets too much, I will have to explain in detail that it's not his fault.

haven't finished my note yet. it's difficult writing it.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

The thought that maybe, just maybe, maybe I could live a normal life. But I don't think that'll happen.

 

[fallingleaves]

I don't know exactly the right thing to do, my brain is fried, I'm not sure if I have the right supplies. I have a lot of unread books. That will be sad.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

The smallest hope that my ex will come back and not wanting to destroy my mother. Maybe a couple of months will be enough for that hope to die and for my mom to understand a little bit my reasons to ctb.

 

[UglyLife82]

I'm too much of a coward to do what needs to be done

 

[DarknessAtNoon]

executive dysfunction due to ADHD which is ironic because this is the same reason my life has turned out out so terribly in the first place.

 

[Grav]

Daughter still in school and I have a concert in May that I paid for.