Venting What were your 1st thoughts this morning🤔

[Terrible_Life_99]

Don't think, just type.

I woke up at 5:45 am. My stomach starting growling because I didn't eat anything yesterday, I had no appetite. Before I got out of bed I immediately thought, "Oh no, not another day!"

As I turned to get out of bed, the severe back pain began and I thought, "Oh, please no, not again today!"

I became angry, and saddened. I quickly reached for my sleeping pills, benzo's, pain pills, etc. I took a total of 10 pills. That's the usual combo I take to sleep.

My last thought before I drift off.."I hope this medication keeps me sleep until 4pm, please!" And so I wait..

I woke up and the same the thought I had yesterday before going to sleep came back to my mind: I need to hang myself asap! Every new day hurt terribly, I'm suffering from mental illness, i am empty, sad and also I'm bored to be honest I mean who wants to be trapped the whole day at home doing nothing but just rotting. These were my thoughts than I opened the window and saw the outside and I said to myself: unbelievable, I could also now be there and a part of society but no circumstances for which I could do nothing destroyed me for life.

 

[darksouls]

the same as every day
thank god it was just a nightmare
oh no
this nightmare is much worse
THE REALITY

 

[manchuman123]

damn. is about all i think in the morning

 

[fedup1982]

Every morning I wake up in panic, I hate it. I don't have much I should really be panicking about. Worst case scenario I get multiple kidney stones and have to work and my parents die and I get falsely accused of something and have to go to court. Worst case, my gf dumps me after my parents have passed and I have to say goodbye to all my possessions and explore options for homelessness. As I calm down from my awful experience in psych ward this last time, once I've woken up properly I realise there isn't a whole lot I really need to worry about, but 6 solid months of psychosis terror, although I'm starting to see more clearly, my subconscious brain still hasn't caught up and I keep waking up from nightmares in real panic. I hate it. But at least things are getting better

 

[Emerita]

This morning:

Why am awake… I need water… why is my water bottle empty… Im not going to get water… I should just go back to sleep… what time is it… what day is it… how many days do I have left… I should call the funeral home but it's too early…

Edit: finally made the call to the funeral home!

 

[Pale_Rider]

I ordered a renewed laptop from amazon for incase I become homeless. Woke up thinking about it since it was, and has been delivered today. Also trying to get my ducks in order to go back to NYC. Thats always there also. Then there is the black cloud that hangs over me. That was there also. I had to get copies of some paperwork for a disability claim, so that was there. I let it all hang out on this one.

 

[Seaghost]

1. Oh no...I don't want to go to the toilet
2. Dreaming is better than living!!!
3. Nice - another new day. Happy fuck you to myself.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

A combination of mild anxiety, and something else... a feeling of reluctancy? This was followed by the thought: "This is all my fault! If I had stayed on course for the last 4 years I would not be waking up in bed today in this situation."

The first hour after waking up was just the usual angry, and depressive ruminations.

 

[Dejected 55]

Pretty much the same thing every day...

"Fuck me... I didn't die in my sleep. I'm still here. Fuck."

 

[Signal]

I want to go back to sleep

 

[Bardbarian]

honestly every morning i check the news first to make sure netanyahu hasn't nuked gaza yet.

 

[SoulWantsHome]

"I want to die."

 

[MrOptions]

Another day waking up in hell. When all i want is eternal .

 

[Manic Panic]

I was pissed because I woke up , I just wish my body would stop functioning.

 

[jpeq]

First it was "fuck, my back hurts", then "oh god, it's Monday"
Was followed by some fake positivity about how I'll surely get all my important tasks done today and I'll be productive and all that, which did not happen

 

[plan c]

I don't usually wake up in the morning. The first thing is perhaps to figure out if it's AM or PM. Could be confusing if the sky is half-lit. Gonna wonder if it's sunrise or sunset for a few mins. And then tell myself not to judge myself for missing another day's sleep-entry, and for spending another day doing nothing in advance.

 

[r.m.216]

Everything is fucked