What would you do if your team was excluding you?

[weni]

I feel so frustrated but had no one to talk to. If you don't want to see this, feel free to skip it.


I'm in a team—think something like a group project. We're all the same age and gender, five of us total.
The team leader is someone everyone around me tells me to avoid; people even call him names behind his back. I got unlucky and ended up on the same team as him.

We had some issues, and now every time I ask him to check on something work-related, he complains like a kid. Whenever I talk, he acts annoyed and acts like I'm the problem making the team uncomfortable. Thanks to all that (and some other stuff), I've basically become the outcast.

To sum up what's been happening:

• They always talk to each other about work and their personal lives, but leave me out.
• In meetings, whenever I try to say anything, they shut me down like I'm always wrong, even if I'm not.
• If I point out something the team leader missed or suggest ways to improve things, he goes and complains about me to the others.
• My work takes longer because I'm doing UI design, but instead of understanding, the team leader yelled at me in front of everyone for not finishing sooner (even though no one else does any work).
• The other members ignore my ideas, but they agree with everything the leader says.
• The leader constantly complains, mocks, and pushes back even when I ask for things I need to do my part.

Anyway, tomorrow we're all supposed to meet up and finish our project. I'm pretty sure they're going to ignore my suggestions and criticize my work again.
No one ever has my back.

What am I supposed to do?
We have to spend two days together like this. I know working in this kind of environment is just going to make my work worse.
But I really want to do a good job this time.
 I just wanna ctb but instead I'm here, getting my work ready while crying
Is trying this hard even worth it? No one's going to recognize my effort anyway.

I just really need some advice!

 

[Hellis]

I can relate a lot, I was and still am the local freak.

Shitty answer, but I survived this shit by getting out or letting it happen. If they are excluding you so openly, they probably won't be so willing to change. At this point what have you got to lose with the treatment anyways, not like you can salvage it or try, so you might as well run for the hills or start practicing your good ol' corporate zombie behavior. "Yes" and "I agree" and nodding while saying the bare minimum make you more likable to many people. It sucks but we can't always run from these dickheads, but if I were you I'd still try.

As for a more hopeful view, I think it's important to mention that people group together and exclude others they fail to understand, especially those who fear difference. I was in your exact shoes before and the issue was more the setting I was in than anything else. Some people thrive socially where others do not, yet there are people like you out there who wouldn't shut you out. This leader and group are probably very confident in where they are, and that's the real reason they are treating you so badly. That and they are assholes.

 

[weni]

I can relate a lot, I was and still am the local freak.

Shitty answer, but I survived this shit by getting out or letting it happen. If they are excluding you so openly, they probably won't be so willing to change. At this point what have you got to lose with the treatment anyways, not like you can salvage it or try, so you might as well run for the hills or start practicing your good ol' corporate zombie behavior. "Yes" and "I agree" and nodding while saying the bare minimum make you more likable to many people. It sucks but we can't always run from these dickheads, but if I were you I'd still try.

As for a more hopeful view, I think it's important to mention that people group together and exclude others they fail to understand, especially those who fear difference. I was in your exact shoes before and the issue was more the setting I was in than anything else. Some people thrive socially where others do not, yet there are people like you out there who wouldn't shut you out. This leader and group are probably very confident in where they are, and that's the real reason they are treating you so badly. That and they are assholes.

Thank you. It really gave me strength You're the first person who's taken my side.
I'll try my best to survive among them.
thank you! You stay strong too