TiredofLife-Thanks
Member
- Sep 10, 2023
- 23
After deciding that I would commit suicide, many things came to mind. Practical things? Like... "I have a job, so I need to resign". "With my death comes funeral costs, so I need to leave money to pay for those costs". "I have a lot of clothes and objects that I won't use anymore, so I just donated them to those who still had more time to live.". Strangely, at first, there were no emotional or loss thoughts, such as "I will never speak to my mother or brother again" or "I will never hear this song again". Are you, who have decided to end your life, going through any feelings of regret or loss?
When I think about it more deeply, my only regrets will be not having watched more anime or finished some childhood game. My only regret will be not having lived my hobbies to the fullest, my only joys in the midst of an undiagnosed depression.
I think these thoughts only demonstrate how much I have lived an empty life. In which I was restricted and just went with the flow. The miserable adult life I swore as a child I would never succumb.
I think I'm writing nonsense, but curiosity spoke louder.
When I think about it more deeply, my only regrets will be not having watched more anime or finished some childhood game. My only regret will be not having lived my hobbies to the fullest, my only joys in the midst of an undiagnosed depression.
I think these thoughts only demonstrate how much I have lived an empty life. In which I was restricted and just went with the flow. The miserable adult life I swore as a child I would never succumb.
I think I'm writing nonsense, but curiosity spoke louder.