Discussion What's your reason for not trying to recover?

[swankysoup]

To recover means "to regain something that was lost" more or less. So you cannot recover something you never had, and when it comes to complex trauma, i have never come across someone that managed to truly recover from their losses. And like others pointed out, drugging yourself numb is not recovery. I don't have the worst life story by any means, but i know what's real and what's cope. What do i have left to try? Spend my least bits of energy working/studying just to stay afloat? I can barely do the bare minimum.

Mentally i'm too broken to build relationships, and i need relationships to heal. There is a common misconception that you can heal from trauma alone, but that's wrong. Yes you can do some things, but in the end trauma is relational, therefore it requires relationships to heal. So it's pretty simple. I guess i'll just wait until the last straw snaps and i make a decision to cbt.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Because it's never been obvious to me why a good life is worth striving for.

 

[outrider567]

I don't know if this question has been asked already, I looked but can't seem to find any threads so I decided I'd ask.
Mine is that I've tried to in the past, A LOT of times and it's basically a vicious circle and I always fall back, sometimes worse than before and I know it's part of the journey but I don't want to deal with that. I've dealt with enough and I know I'll come back to suicide eventually again. Once the idea got in my brain it never really left. I often think about what I would say if someone asked me that and ;
I believe it's possible for me to feel fine again, very happy even, but when I think of the long run I know it's not always gonna be the case and I don't want to suffer anymore, I know that if I keep on living I will still have ups but the downs will still be there, and will still be excruciatingly painful. Not to mention the times when I was actually trying to get help but couldn't manage because the doctors here suck. They never helped one bit. Neither did the medication. I don't want to contribute to this society anymore and to be honest I'm not sure I can even if I wanted to. I've gotten to a point of being afraid of happiness and not allowing myself to be too happy because the pain of feeling sad again is so terrible.
I can name many more reasons as to why I completely "gave up" but that would take me a while lol
What are your reasons? Do you see yourslef possibly getting better? If so, do you know what would have to happen for it to be the case?

How can one get better when their lifelong companion suddenly dies? Its almost impossible

 

[TheHolySword]

Simply, there's just no reason to anymore

 

[been__ready]

It's the endless cycle of misery, wanting to get better, making changes in an effort to get better, starting to feel better, and hoping that this time around it will finally last, only to inevitably fall back into the same pit you were in to begin with and be forced to repeat the same process over and over again with no end in sight.
Medication, exercise, therapy, each time around trying even harder to get better than you did the time before thinking that if you just try hard enough, if you just put in enough effort this time, you'll finally feel better for good. Only for it to not only not pay off, but for it to backfire leaving you feeling worse than ever before.
An endless hamster wheel, with the false promise that things "will get better" as a carrot on a stick so you keep running and holding onto hope through sheer force of will as you become increasingly exhausted. There's only so long you can keep running for. There's only so much hope you can fuel yourself with.
Meanwhile the world around you continues to insist that you can feel better if you just make an effort but they don't understand that you've already been making an effort for as long as you can remember and you're so tired. So you think you must be the problem, your effort still isn't quite good enough. So you start the cycle again, because you know it's either that or nothing.
in the end there is no getting better for me there's only one way out of all this mess!

Very well said..

It's so easy for people to say "it will get better" "people get through this" "there is hope" when they have no idea what struggling through each day feels like… especially if you have suffered complex abandonment/trauma and have resulting mental/physical health issues.. even worse - if it runs in the family…

 

[yariousvamp]

老兄我和你差不多。

Are you Chinese? Is life in China also hard?

 

[avalonisburning]

I don't want to.

 

[coffeebeany]

I don't know if this question has been asked already, I looked but can't seem to find any threads so I decided I'd ask.
Mine is that I've tried to in the past, A LOT of times and it's basically a vicious circle and I always fall back, sometimes worse than before and I know it's part of the journey but I don't want to deal with that. I've dealt with enough and I know I'll come back to suicide eventually again. Once the idea got in my brain it never really left. I often think about what I would say if someone asked me that and ;
I believe it's possible for me to feel fine again, very happy even, but when I think of the long run I know it's not always gonna be the case and I don't want to suffer anymore, I know that if I keep on living I will still have ups but the downs will still be there, and will still be excruciatingly painful. Not to mention the times when I was actually trying to get help but couldn't manage because the doctors here suck. They never helped one bit. Neither did the medication. I don't want to contribute to this society anymore and to be honest I'm not sure I can even if I wanted to. I've gotten to a point of being afraid of happiness and not allowing myself to be too happy because the pain of feeling sad again is so terrible.
I can name many more reasons as to why I completely "gave up" but that would take me a while lol
What are your reasons? Do you see yourslef possibly getting better? If so, do you know what would have to happen for it to be the case?

I ve tried and I can't. Unfortunately.

 

[LostLily]

Because I'm tired of trying

 

[Moniker]

I think the time and money that goes into that is just not worth the benefit of persisting in an ugly dying world full of awful people.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I simply don't deserve it. Imagine redeeming Hitler. Absolute cringe. I might as well be Hitler or Donald Trump or whoever it is you, the reader, happen to hate the most. If I were to recover, then everyone I've ever hurt would probably end up killing themselves too at the cruel injustice of it all.

 

[areyousafe??]

Lack of motivation to. I don't find the idea of "happiness" very appealing. Even if I recover, there is something inherently wrong with me that I don't feel compatible with life anyway. I've tried recovering for family, knowing that it's what they want. I'm tired of trying so hard for other people.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I already know it's empty.

 

[L'absent]

I'm sufficiently tired. Life is a human balance over human madness. From the moment you are born you are pulled left and right, the whole world demands a thousand things from you and then a thousand more. What you do is never enough. In addition to this you are subject to a thousand risks. All this craziness isn't even free. You have to pay for life with work, otherwise you can't even enjoy this horror you never wanted, but imposed with birth. And you are obliged to stay there, because your fellow men will be your prison guards and will prevent you from being discharged in every way. I have no intention of prolonging my stay in this asylum. People who love life are seriously ill with the most serious psychopathology in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

 

[tbh2023]

I don't think I want to recover. For what exactly??? It's getting worse. I waited for so long I'm finally determined.

 

[hereornot]

Lack of enough time and things I don't know how to defend myself against. Dying is the quickest way to escape all of this.

 

[Melancholic Muse]

To be entirely blunt, it's kind of a case of a case of getting off before I'm pushed off. The UK is all but on the road of echoing Aktion T4 with its ruthless slashing of already insufficient benefits for people who are chronically ill or disabled, we're bombarded with propaganda hell bent on producing the useless eater myth, hate crimes against disabled people are on the rise and I know for a fact that our suffering is not going to motivate people to fight back. We've been doing the austerity thing for over a decade and still we just pray to the Commons in the hope someone will descend from the heavens and save us when they're all lapdogs for capital. Either they kill me or I kill me, I know which one I'm picking.

 

[Leiot]

Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm comfortable with being depressed. The thought of being better is kinda scary - I fear the unknown.

 

[Forveleth]

Because I can't? I have tried therapy but the last "specialist" I went to said I was "too difficult of a case" for them. I tried medication but the side effects were worse than my depression. There's also the thing of me being currently married to an emotionally abusive asshole with whom I never wanted to spend my life. Until I could get away from my douchebag husband, no amount of medication and therapy is going to make me better.

Why have I not left my husband? He did a fine job of manipulating me into staying with me until I broke and now I'm like "fuck it, I'd rather die". So yeah, death is my option for "getting better".

 

[arandomname]

Was recovering quite well but lost the reason for wanting to recover and hope doesn't cut it anymore.

 

[weiyus123..]

你是中国人吗？在中国生活也很难吗？

当然，中国没有任何社会福利。。

 

[SoulCage]

Well.. I am reading all the responses for why people do not want or cannot recover and tomorrow I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist. I want to give it "one last try" to achieve existence that is bearable in some way.
But honestly... I think it's so pointless. Every other comment I read so far is what I believe will happen tomorrow: I will get more evidence that there is no help for me, because it will just be a disappoinment like my other tries.

Recovery is just prolonging suffering.

But here I am, just trying in one more time because of my stupid SI and one last person in my life that I hate to hurt with my passing.

Next time I post on this thread you will know that I have given up, because my try failed (again).

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

Bereavement. The person who I love most in the world, who I need like I need oxygen to breathe, is terminally ill.

If we could just have had some more years together, we could have planted roots somewhere where I could have made / reconnected with friends and built a community around me, to support me after their death. (I have no other family.) That would have been worth the hard effort of recovery.

Instead they're dying and I'm falling into an abyss all alone from which I can never - and frankly, don't want to - crawl out of.

 

[ninfanatic]

i have seventeen years of trauma under my belt and effects that would be extraordinarily hard to reverse. death is ultimate peace a respite to me over anything here.

 

[inthebay]

I fully understand, that last part too. I think I would've felt hopeful if people in the mental health industry would admit that sometimes life just sucks and your never gonna be able to do anything about it, which I'm sure some actually do believe and tell you that but most of my encounters were always met with that hypocrisy and false beliefs.

I hate that so much of CBT (at least in my experience) is based off of the idea that the world is an inherently safe place, because for many people, it's not. I really wish I could see what the process of therapy might be like if there weren't any profit incentive for therapists- if the therapy process was just truly for nothing but the health and wellbeing of the person undergoing therapy.

 

[fluorine.uranium.99]

I've been in mental health treatment for years. from 11 to now, 18. I've only gotten worse. been through many, many therapists and been on many medications. nothing helped. inpatient, PHP, IOP. nothing. yeah, problems at home really affected me and that's probably a big reason my issues got so much worse. but anyways, I can't undo the damage done. my life is ruined. I have no chance of achieving my goals. I'm not smart or strong enough for med school. I have autism and am unable to make or maintain friendships, let alone find a partner. I am going to die alone. and I'm so tired of being alive in general. its exhausting.

 

[divinemistress36]

As someone who has tried all sorts of barbaric treatments like ECT and psych meds. I dont blame people for not attempting to recover some of the treatments out there can make people a lot worse . Being a guniea pig to try to recover is a lot of trial and error