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listen before i go

listen before i go

Member
Sep 22, 2019
17
Whenever I don't have to leave the house.
 
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P

Phoenix1990

Member
Jul 26, 2019
83
When I have showers. Pathetic I know
 
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A

a_strange_day

Arcanist
Jul 16, 2019
461
When I switch to a state of complete apathy, no more emotions, desires, feelings, nothing matters anymore. I just eat, sleep, do meaningless things and patiently wait for death to come.
 
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clownangel

clownangel

Student
Sep 25, 2019
122
Music in the shower or baths when no ones awake or home. Binging shows I like with a new project in hand when everyone remembers to leave me the hell alone. Smoking on my porch past 1am.
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
Smoking marijuana or driving through the woods.
 
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SlackJim

SlackJim

Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost
Sep 30, 2019
226
when I'm highlining
 
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FrostMonolith

FrostMonolith

Member
Sep 17, 2019
9
For some reason, my mind starts being at peace only when I'm critically sick. It's as if I'm accepting a moment where I have to do absolutely nothing to heal myself.
 
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The.End

The.End

This too shall pass
May 18, 2019
80
After I inject morphine I just lie in bed and feel my body melt into my mattress. Probably the most peace I've ever felt is when I'm high on morphine, my problems and issues all feel so minuscule when I'm on that stuff. I am currently trying to taper off this shit. The Withdrawal symptoms are hell.
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,448
If all is well in my schedule, it occurs specifically on weekends.
I wake up and immediately start rolling cigarettes for about two hours. During those two hours, before symptoms and other shit wakes up, those two hours are absolute heaven!
 
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nebula

nebula

Member
Sep 30, 2019
16
Playing with my dogs, or when I'm lying in my bed with my cat. They're one of the few reasons I have to live nowadays.
 
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The.End

The.End

This too shall pass
May 18, 2019
80
If all is well in my schedule, it occurs specifically on weekends.
I wake up and immediately start rolling cigarettes for about two hours. During those two hours, before symptoms and other shit wakes up, those two hours are absolute heaven!

Are you rolling all those cigarettes for the week ahead? And if so how many do you roll?
 
A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,448
Are you rolling all those cigarettes for the week ahead? And if so how many do you roll?
I buy three-four, sometimes even five packs of tobacco, ten packs of filters and sixteen packs of paper, throw the tobacco into a blender, pour the resulting not-quite-powder into a tupperware thing, grab the rolling device, the tupperware thing, and just go nuts with it. I aim for at least a week's worth of cigs, though I also aim to make a cache of cigs for emergencies. Mostly hospitalization. If you can walk, the ER staff will assign a guy to follow you around when you're asking for a smoke.
The process of rolling cigarettes is kind of like meditation when you start churning them out in hundreds. It's Jewish New Year, so this week is special. This week I got an almost week off, so I bought double the amount and churned out about 1200 cigs, I think. I tried counting via spreadsheet, but the sheer amount was too big for my brain to follow. I basically have an ice cream tub full of them done.
 
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Derailed

Derailed

Not Invited
Oct 1, 2019
2
Watching old movies. Especially the ones I was already entertained in my childhood bring me some sort of inner peace that I hardly get from anything else. I always remember the days back and how carefree and happy I was.
 
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P

Phoenix1990

Member
Jul 26, 2019
83
Why do you think it's pathetic?
I'm not quite sure, I guess it's pathetic that all the things I should be able to take peace from, I don't and only taking showers give me a short release where I feel at peace because I feel clean until the water stops running.
 
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Numbtopain97

Numbtopain97

deader than dead
Aug 10, 2019
443
When i'm high
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
There's a pond near where I live in the middle of nowhere that hardly anyone knows about . In the summer there's a pair of geese and ducks that both have their babies there. On a hot day with a spliff watching them all swim round and feeding them is when i'm most at peace.
 
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Darkhaven

Darkhaven

All i have left is memories
May 19, 2019
979
I feel most in peace when i'm home alone.
Or when i am somewhere really isolated from where most people are, which rarely happens because i seldom leave the house.
I like forests and wooded areas.
If i had money i would buy property on some secluded forested place and build a house there.
 
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Dumbass

Dumbass

Member
Jun 4, 2019
86
I only really feel at peace if someone's talking to me. It's nice. Comforting, I guess. Can't go a day without talking to my friends or it'll be a rea l l l y bad day aha
 
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Egddios

Egddios

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
395
When I have showers. Pathetic I know

I don't think that's pathetic at all. I hear you. I go sometimes for days without showering; the longer I go, the more I dread getting in the shower. BUT, once I do get in there and feel the water on me, get shampoo in my hair, spend time really scrubbing and getting myself clean, it becomes a peaceful process. I get out of the shower and I think to myself, "ok, that wasn't so bad. You did it!"

Small victories.

Anyway, what gives me true, sublime peace? As others have mentioned, sleep. I take Prazosin to help reduce the nightmares I have, but when I can fall into a solid, deep sleep - ah, I'm so grateful. I also enjoy any time I can be put under anesthesia. That's even better.

Walking with my dog was always something I looked forward to and gave me peace. I miss that. My dog's currently being cared for by my father as I'm not well enough lately to give him the good life I want him to have.
 
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F

falconeyes

Member
Sep 27, 2019
80
When i get a warm shower at late night, then get in bed to lay back, and in Summer it gets better when i run the fan over me to feel the coolness crawl over my body.
 
StillWaiting

StillWaiting

Need cats to comfort me
Jul 28, 2018
550
During my sleep.
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
When I'm either Reading writing, or asleep.
 
E

EmptySteph62

Student
Aug 4, 2019
169
I feel most at peace when I'm sleeping or playing with my cat. Those are the only times I really feel peace at all tbh
 
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