Story Who else is here due to chronic illness or pain?

[AliceTheGoon]

Yep November 2021 out of the fucking blue. Like I was shot in the head by a life sucking bullet. Went from healthy to a walking decomposing corpse.

 

[SomePeacePlease]

It's terrible to read about everyone else here with trauma, chronic illness and not to mention all the malpractice done by medical professionals.

Having been in and out of hospitals and open/closed wards since 2005, I've said for years that I wish there was a pill the doctors etc could take, that made them feel how we feel for 30 minutes, and see if they would change their tune.
I doubt there would be as many "This will pass", "You just have to think positive", "It's not dangerous to be in pain, so try to exercise more, for your mental health" etc etc.

 

[whywere]

It's terrible to read about everyone else here with trauma, chronic illness and not to mention all the malpractice done by medical professionals.

Having been in and out of hospitals and open/closed wards since 2005, I've said for years that I wish there was a pill the doctors etc could take, that made them feel how we feel for 30 minutes, and see if they would change their tune.
I doubt there would be as many "This will pass", "You just have to think positive", "It's not dangerous to be in pain, so try to exercise more, for your mental health" etc etc.

You are so smart and kind! I 100% agree with the pill for doctors' aspect. I have 24/7 chronic pain from a very nasty car crash, and I have had doctors who think that I am making a mountain out of an ant hill. They either will not understand or do not give a crap except for their fees that are way too much.

Walter

 

[Darkbloom Tom]

Have not much, but the conditions i have drag me down. Had a traumatic brain injury as a infant, which gave me severe adhd. Now i have OCD, MDD and suicidal ideation. Also have the urge to self harm trough cutting or hanging, mood swings and problems with my personality, probably duo to past trauma. So could be that I have also something else.

 

[sickboy55]

I got sick 1.5 years ago and it drives me fucking mad that doctors have no clue about complex illnesses (none of them has even heard of POTS in my country) and ask the same dumb questions like "Are you stressed?" How the fuck wouldn't I be stressed after dealing with constant pain, fatigue, tinnitus, zero deep sleep, bloating etc. for ONE AND A HALF YEARS? Yes, I have tried therapy and antidepressants! I am doing sports and it doesn't make me feel better! Do they expect me to be like "oh, you are right, all of my 20+ symptoms are caused by just anxiety, I haven't thought of that before, thank you!!!!"? And then what? Just stop being anxious? Do they think going to to the psychiatrist again for the 8th useless pill will help? Because even my psychiatrist says it's unlikely and my symptoms must have a physical root cause. But these negligent fucks don't care about that either.

If engineers worked with this "if I don't see anything wrong at the first sight than everything must be alright" mentality of doctors we would see bridges and building collapsing every day.

 

[Leiot]

Now I take a lot of opioids, 20mg of Hydromorphone each day and I wear a 20mcg buprenorphine patch. They will be jumping me way up the ladder in the opioid chain. either fentanyl or 50mg of Hydromorphone.

Walter

Walter,

The opioids are a deception. I was on full-time pain killers for a long time for a broken back but they just stop working after a while. So they kept increasing the dose. Opioids are great for short-term pain but not worth a crap for long-term. When I got off all the fentanyl I was on my pain level was about the same. The only time I really got relief was when I took the pills for flareups.

The patches are the single best way to develop a dependency on them. Taking pills on a regular basis comes in second. I take morphine now just for flareups, but I try hard not to take it on any kind of schedule and track every one of those things I take.

Please, please do not move to fentanyl. I had to learn other ways to deal with the pain and I know it sounds trite but if you want to avoid a dependency on the pain killers it's what you have to do. Meditation, exercise, accupuncture.. anything else. The fentanyl destroyed my career, my marriage and my health.

I'm sending good thoughts your way, brother.

 

[whywere]

Walter,

The opioids are a deception. I was on full-time pain killers for a long time for a broken back but they just stop working after a while. So they kept increasing the dose. Opioids are great for short-term pain but not worth a crap for long-term. When I got off all the fentanyl I was on my pain level was about the same. The only time I really got relief was when I took the pills for flareups.

The patches are the single best way to develop a dependency on them. Taking pills on a regular basis comes in second. I take morphine now just for flareups, but I try hard not to take it on any kind of schedule and track every one of those things I take.

Please, please do not move to fentanyl. I had to learn other ways to deal with the pain and I know it sounds trite but if you want to avoid a dependency on the pain killers it's what you have to do. Meditation, exercise, accupuncture.. anything else. The fentanyl destroyed my career, my marriage and my health.

I'm sending good thoughts your way, brother.

YOU MADE MY DAY AND WEEK AND YEAR!

You ARE family and after reading this I cried, as I have not had someone think of me like this in decades. I was stunned to be honest that someone would take the time to help me, THANK YOU so much!!

I am going to stay somewhat on Hydromorphone, and I am going to talk with my pain doctor about this.

Right now, I am in the middle of a huge global project, and I have like zero free time, but I am going to see my pain doctor when I get back to my home state.

You really helped me, and I will never be able to repay you for such generous love and kind thoughts, never.

Have a great rest of this week and a great upcoming weekend filled with love. hugs and beautiful sunny blue skies.

Walter

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I'm here because of mental anguish and pain. I am almost completely alone and I fear for the future. Things are basically fine for me now, but I keep worrying about what will happen to me if anything goes wrong. My mental anguish is almost like physical pain, to the point I can't move. I have one person I am in contact with now, but that's it, and most people I know pretty actively dislike me and even when I have tried to be likeable it just doesn't work. I'm very fearful of cbt, though, and I have a strong SI. I fantasize all the time about getting a fast-acting disease and dying quickly and peacefully. I would like to go into hospice, be put on a lot of pain meds, and drift a way in a few days.

 

[SomePeacePlease]

You are so smart and kind! I 100% agree with the pill for doctors' aspect. I have 24/7 chronic pain from a very nasty car crash, and I have had doctors who think that I am making a mountain out of an ant hill. They either will not understand or do not give a crap except for their fees that are way too much.

Walter

I'm embaressed that I haven't seen and responded to this message before, Walter! I'm so sorry to hear you are living with that kind of pain for years. I understand what you mean. After the back pain that started halfway through my 20 Electroshock treatments, I have lost count of the doctors that say stuff like "Try jogging. You know, pain isn't dangerous", "You look healthy", "Are you sure you are depressed, you look fine".
I've started answer something my grandma(who had depression) used to say — "I'm not sick in the middle of my face".

They really just want their money, gasp at the "way too strong medications" you are on, make their journals look pretty, and get you out as soon as possible.

I really appreciate your message, and again, sorry about your pain.