Discussion Who to leave money to?

[CandyCane]

I have some money. I have one friend who is terrible with money, has a drug addiction, and always having money problems, but has been, without a doubt, the most supportive person to me in my life. I don't have children. I have a lot of rich relatives, and a few broke cousins I don't really like. I'm really not sure leaving this friend money will improve his life though. It's not enough for him to not have to worry about anything for life, but I could live off of it for 10 years. He's bad with money though and might blow through it all very fast. However, if there's one person I'd like to help in the world it's him. I also have a few charities I like, but charities aren't people. Or I could leave it to my family and not worry about it. But I mostly hate my family. My mother, even though she can be awful, has helped me the most with basic tasks in the last few years though. She seemed appalled when I talked about leaving all my money to this friend in my will, saying he'd just blow through it in a month and it would all be wasted. Anyone have any thoughts on this stuff?

 

[snow.mp4]

this might sound pretty terrible of an idea (economically speaking), but at least from my thoughts, emotionally speaking if i were u, id probably give it to the closest friend i have (in this case, being ur "one friend")

even if they're terribly bad with managing money at least, if possible id advise them to please spend it wisely, though if they cant, at least spend it in a way that makes them satisfied and well of course that could be drugs but honestly if they're satisfied, im not too sure i could argue about that because in the end, its their satisfaction and if i had a friend that really means the world to me, i'd support it.

of course they might actually not be satisfied with the way they have a drug addiction though, since i dont know if theyre content with how they are or whatnot (i believe u know best in this case), and so ignore 2nd paragraph if they're not really content with it

though id still stick with sending the money to the friend that means the world to me as a means of showing appreciation of how much they've supported compared to other people whether it be family or other friends and in the end, u did mention u too want to help them as much as u can and i think this might as well be a way of helping sort of, but i guess this is up for u to decide as well

when it comes to charities, personally i really cant trust them and im kinda the type to be against helping a group, and if anything, if id help someone, itd be a person that really does mean a lot to me (im basically repeating what i said but yep in the end, if i were in ur position id be satisfied sending money to a friend thats supported me over time and means the world to me)

but! naturally, please choose for urself in the end and only simply consider (up to u though) what i've said!

if u do end up choosing how u want to leave ur money behind, i'd love to hear how it plays out!

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

If it's enough for 10 years' living, is there a way you could make it payable every year on his birthday for 10 years? Maybe through a lawyer/bank/policy/savings plan of some kind? And then explain the reason being you care and appreciate him so much, that you'd want him to make the most of his life, for as long as possible.

 

[avoid]

Maybe you can sink your money and other assets into something that you think would help your friend. Are you able to stipulate conditions on asset transfers in your will, similar to the classic tale of inheriting a castle only after you spend a night there. For example, "if the friend accepts the physical gift, he/she cannot sell it within x months." I don't know how much some money is and what you think your friend needs and appreciates, so maybe there's nothing physical to gift your friend.

Another option is to exchange your money for store credits such as a gift card with a large sum of money that doesn't expire. This allow you to restrict how your friend can spend your gift, for example, a store that predominantly sells food and household items. However, this may come across as if you don't have faith in your friend spending the money wisely.

You wrote that he has money problems, so instead of gifting the money to him, you could pay off some of his debts. Or if you want to gift the money as is, you could hire a financial professional that helps your friend spend or invest the money wisely.

Whatever you choose to do with your money, IF you decide to gift it to your friend, maybe talk with him and express your concerns that you don't want him to be irresponsible with it (no drug purchases).

 

[Miss_Anthropy]

Me, of course.

 

[Lostmyonlyson]

Hard to say, but does it really matter if your friend will just spend the money?

 

[CandyCane]

Hard to say, but does it really matter if your friend will just spend the money?

I know whenever he's gotten any money, like a settlement, and blew through it, he felt tons of shame about it. He's definitely got problems.

 

[Lostmyonlyson]

I know whenever he's gotten any money, like a settlement, and blew through it, he felt tons of shame about it. He's definitely got problems.

Oh, I got it, you wanna protect him for doing anything stupid with the money. Can't you set some sort of condition for him to get the money then? Like a rehab program and getting professional help? If it's a lot of money it could help him get out of drugs.

 

[CandyCane]

Oh, I got it, you wanna protect him for doing anything stupid with the money. Can't you set some sort of condition for him to get the money then? Like a rehab program and getting professional help? If it's a lot of money it could help him get out of drugs.

I don't believe in rehab programs. They're ineffective and predatory. I'd rather set it on fire than have anything I leave behind go to something like that. I also don't want to be controlling, but it's hard. I might just do something else with it.

 

[ToANewWorld]

Similar situation OP except I probably have much much less than you. My family has shown support in this difficult time but if I could have afforded to, I would have moved alone and far away from them a very long time ago.

When this is how you feel about family its hard to feel good about leaving them anything.

If I had children I would leave it all to them but I dont. I have developed some pretty good friendships these past 5 years but how do I put it... they all have put together lives? Why would I leave them anything in that case.

Truly sucks to be honest.

I have been toying with the idea of setting some sort of trust that my family can manage though make the trust explicitly to help my sibling's children (which they dont have but I would feel happy if my money went towards my nieces and nephews one day)

 

[monolog]

Me, of course.

Fake suicidal trait
Why would you need money

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I could live off of it for 10 years.

Depending on where you live that might be a large sum.

Have you considered putting the money into a trust and your friend is the beneficiary but he only receives a kind of retirement pension from the gains that your money makes within the trust? Also, have you thought about inheritance tax - if your country knows such taxes? That could reduce the amount of money you want your friend to receive.

 

[outrider567]

I know whenever he's gotten any money, like a settlement, and blew through it, he felt tons of shame about it. He's definitely got problems.

Give your money to Charity, like I am: St Judes Children's Cancer Hospital

 

[CandyCane]

Depending on where you live that might be a large sum.

Have you considered putting the money into a trust and your friend is the beneficiary but he only receives a kind of retirement pension from the gains that your money makes within the trust? Also, have you thought about inheritance tax - if your country knows such taxes? That could reduce the amount of money you want your friend to receive.

I like the idea of this, but it could be elaborate and time consuming to set up, and, if I don't end up dying, I may 100% change my mind and want something else, which is also elaborate and time consuming to set up.

Give your money to Charity, like I am: St Judes Children's Cancer Hospital

If I did this, it would be a small one with a strong history and good mission.

Similar situation OP except I probably have much much less than you. My family has shown support in this difficult time but if I could have afforded to, I would have moved alone and far away from them a very long time ago.

When this is how you feel about family its hard to feel good about leaving them anything.

If I had children I would leave it all to them but I dont. I have developed some pretty good friendships these past 5 years but how do I put it... they all have put together lives? Why would I leave them anything in that case.

Truly sucks to be honest.

I have been toying with the idea of setting some sort of trust that my family can manage though make the trust explicitly to help my sibling's children (which they dont have but I would feel happy if my money went towards my nieces and nephews one day)

This is very sweet.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I like the idea of this, but it could be elaborate and time consuming to set up, and, if I don't end up dying, I may 100% change my mind and want something else, which is also elaborate and time consuming to set up.

I think you could write that down in a will and have that will be executed by a lawyer - if you don't die the will, will not become effective.

I'm aware, it's time-consuming and can be difficult.

Ultimately it's your decision what you wanna do.

 

[bankai]

I have an idea. Lock the money so the principal cannot be touched. Let the interest it generates alone be paid out monthly to whoever you please. I believe some type of fund can do this. You need to talk to a financial advisor. This is quite doable.Also, don't do anything prior to passing away. Make sure it is after your passing. You don't want to end up surviving and be unable to buy your next SN or whatever.