Why are male adult virgins looked down on by just about everyone in society?

[AdultVirgin]

My sister-in-law is 5'11 and said she had trouble dating because of her height.

lol

 

[CatLvr]

lol

Serious question:

How are we supposed to take your "trauma" seriously when someone else has the exact same problem, but because that person is a woman you think it is funny?

 

[AdultVirgin]

Serious question:

How are we supposed to take your "trauma" seriously when someone else has the exact same problem, but because that person is a woman you think it is funny?

i'm actually 6'2

physically deformed though

 

[Dejected 55]

men don't seem to discriminate against women based on height though

On average, men are taller than women. There are variances around the world, but in general it is going to be a whole lot easier for a woman to find a taller man than it is for a man to find a taller woman.

Oh, and if you want to get technical... woman who are around 4' tall do have issues with men discriminating against them because of their height... so, yeah, men do sometimes discriminate based on height.

 

[AdultVirgin]

On average, men are taller than women. There are variances around the world, but in general it is going to be a whole lot easier for a woman to find a taller man than it is for a man to find a taller woman.

Oh, and if you want to get technical... woman who are around 4' tall do have issues with men discriminating against them because of their height... so, yeah, men do sometimes discriminate based on height.

women have to be really freakishly short for men to reject them for being short though

its much easier for a short man to be rejected

 

[CatLvr]

women have to be really freakishly short for men to reject them for being short though

its much easier for a short man to be rejected

You need to find a different group of people to hang around.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I don't know to be honest, I already typed a big novel with advice that I deemed reasonable and insight that showed you the fact that the only people who would be looking down at you for such a MINOR ISSUE are pretty much assholes who you'd never want to associate yourself with!

That mini novel was ignored but still; I wanted to type a small comment since I saw your profile picture, associating with that kind of people is definitely not going to increase your odds of being looked up by society. So that's a start if you wish to get better in that regard. People do not really like killers, especially hypocritical ones who do pointless killing!

 

[ClownWorld2023]

@AdultVirgin Just tell them you're religious (even if you aren't).

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Its almost like you've done something wrong if you haven't violated a woman

Even if it hasn't been your choice

Adult virgins should be celebrated, and considered moral leaders, but society seems to want to do the exact opposite

Women especially seem disgusted by male adult virgins

This is something no one ever really talks about

But adult virgins seem to be regarded as inferior human beings just about everywhere you go, except for on incel forums such as incels.is and mensrights.space

There is so such "virgin shaming" nowadays, but in the past, it used to be quite the opposite

Some say that this change is due to the rise of feminism

That the more female-dominated society gets, the more the males that women naturally find unattractive will have their social status lowered

It seems to be that virgins make non-virgins look like creepy predators, but no one else seems to see it this way

In fact, they see it the exact opposite way

Virgins are considered everything bad - predatory, pathetic, everything

They get shat on from ALL angles

They should get a big reward

The catholic church has always known this, and has rewarded them by making them priests and bishops

But the catholic church doesn't seem to openly celebrate virginity anymore

I wonder if the new pope is even a virgin?

First of all, I have to call out your pfp.

I feel that society has no issue with adult male virgins. I feel the issue is in the people that choose to make this their identity and, in the case of your pfp, those who lash out and slaughter those that have nothing to do with their sex life.

That's about all I have to say.

 

[NonEssential]

Even though it's not an actual requirement, I can't help, but feel really pathetic for being 25 and never having been in a romantic relationship with anyone.
I only blame myself for it, not women though. (Maybe an incel by original definition, not what the internet sees it as in some hate filled misogynist.)

 

[Dejected 55]

First of all, I have to call out your pfp.

I feel that society has no issue with adult male virgins. I feel the issue is in the people that choose to make this their identity and, in the case of your pfp, those who lash out and slaughter those that have nothing to do with their sex life.

That's about all I have to say.

Note that I'm not agreeing with the OP's entire setup... but there is a valid point about adult male virgins being considered somehow "less than."

How many times do you hear someone say "he needs to get laid" or "he's that way because he can't get laid" when an adult man is being criticized for something entirely unrelated to sex? And if you're in a group of men and they are talking about wives, girlfriends, or sexual exploits, you can believe you will stand out when you don't have anything to say in the conversation.

I did not have sex until I was 28, and that was with an escort. All my sex was with escorts from about 28-33 years old. Even though I'm not a virgin so I dodge that criticism, anyone who knows I've only had sex with escorts it's still a putdown to me to say I have to pay for it. Not like I don't already feel incomplete and ashamed of that anyway, but why does anyone else care? Except they definitely do.

I don't believe anyone should be shamed or praised for being a virgin or for having sex. The only people who should care are you and whomever your current partner is... but the world is filled with people who will find something to be critical about... and for men, being a virgin or being an escort-only non-virgin are right up at the top of things men and woman will criticize you for being. That's not a fabrication.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I was confused when people talked about the profile picture. Had to do reverse image search. It's Elliot Rodger, which was a mass murderer said to influence early incel and manosphere subculture.

Look man, it's hard to think good things of you when you happily put a murderer as your image on this forum. and looking at how you talk about your virginity and how you deal with it, it makes sense for you to use someone who influenced the incel/manosphere movement so much.

I almost fell into this hole earlier in my life. Don't do that mistake, there is nothing there except commiseration and hatred. Just because some people are assholes, you shouldn't feel like you need to be one to have community. Hell, you entered SaSu, here you don't need to act like this to have a community.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Note that I'm not agreeing with the OP's entire setup... but there is a valid point about adult male virgins being considered somehow "less than."

How many times do you hear someone say "he needs to get laid" or "he's that way because he can't get laid" when an adult man is being criticized for something entirely unrelated to sex? And if you're in a group of men and they are talking about wives, girlfriends, or sexual exploits, you can believe you will stand out when you don't have anything to say in the conversation.

I did not have sex until I was 28, and that was with an escort. All my sex was with escorts from about 28-33 years old. Even though I'm not a virgin so I dodge that criticism, anyone who knows I've only had sex with escorts it's still a putdown to me to say I have to pay for it. Not like I don't already feel incomplete and ashamed of that anyway, but why does anyone else care? Except they definitely do.

I don't believe anyone should be shamed or praised for being a virgin or for having sex. The only people who should care are you and whomever your current partner is... but the world is filled with people who will find something to be critical about... and for men, being a virgin or being an escort-only non-virgin are right up at the top of things men and woman will criticize you for being. That's not a fabrication.

I completely understand the feeling of being less than. I'm queer and neurodivergent. I've lived my life on the edges of "normal" culture. I don't mean to be cruel, but I feel straight (primarily white) men who are feeling this pinch of societal pressure are feeling just a small portion of what most of the world feels. I'm deeply concerned that incel culture fuels hate and crystalizes a worldview of isolation.

Many of us constantly feel the pressure of society and expectations of others. We all feel this in different ways. Rather than turning this as a magnifying glass on the taste of our own mouths, I hope that we can learn a sense of compassion on how this unites us with other humans.

 

[Fluoxymesterone]

Life as an incel is just not worth living. Every living organism lives to reproduce. I have never been happy once in my life and i am unlovable. I will kill myself in the next few days after doing some things i need to finish before i can go.

 

[Dejected 55]

I completely understand the feeling of being less than. I'm queer and neurodivergent. I've lived my life on the edges of "normal" culture. I don't mean to be cruel, but I feel straight (primarily white) men who are feeling this pinch of societal pressure are feeling just a small portion of what most of the world feels. I'm deeply concerned that incel culture fuels hate and crystalizes a worldview of isolation.

Many of us constantly feel the pressure of society and expectations of others. We all feel this in different ways. Rather than turning this as a magnifying glass on the taste of our own mouths, I hope that we can learn a sense of compassion on how this unites us with other humans.

Incels are a whole other thing. I don't understand them and their hate at all. I understand the frustration of being lonely and alone, but I don't understand turning that into hate for women.

My life has another twist that most people haven't had to deal with... in addition to my lack of ever having a relationship with a woman and barely any dates... When I was 9 years old, a kid who didn't like me started a rumor in school that I was gay. For whatever reason everyone seemed to believe it. I was ostracized by boys and girls. I always thought it weird that girls who thought I was gay stayed away from me the same as boys, but I digress. This lasted until I was 14 and we moved and I went to a new school.

So, during all the early formative years of adolescence when you should be experiencing crushes and learning how to navigate social situations, I was getting punched and ganged up on and insulted and shunned by everyone. Even the teachers who saw things happening did nothing. And the thing was, since I wasn't a typical boy who tried to grope girls and make passes and ogle and talk about what I wanted to "do" to them, nothing I did dissuaded anyone from thinking I was gay.

What that means is in addition to the stunted emotional growth I got... I also was subject to all the bad things that kids do to actual gay kids that scar some of them for life... but since I wasn't gay I didn't even have that community to turn to for support. I got all the worst parts of being picked on for something without any of the benefit of a support group of others like me.

It taught me, though, that people are horrible and I was glad to see that side of so many kids that I knew I didn't want any part of their circle. Unfortunately, kids like that never grow out of bullying and prejudiced behavior. They just learn how to use it for power and to make themselves feel better than others. I daresay, though, it gave me more insight at an earlier age than most kids get in terms of empathy and looking at situations from all sides and not just immediately picking a side and running with it on all things. I learned how to listen and hear people out and see the complexities and to identify often with the people being put down and oppressed even if I don't 100% understand what they are going through, I went through something at least similar.