Venting Why do they make us live with incurable injury?

[Darkover]

I got a brain injury when I was 30 years old, and it changed everything. Not just physically—but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I lost the ability to concentrate, to think clearly, to function the way I used to. It feels like the person I was supposed to be got erased, and no one gave me a guide on how to live with what was left.

The worst part is that despite it being incurable, despite the suffering being constant and exhausting, the government and the system still expect me to keep going as if I'm fine. As if life automatically has value no matter how unbearable it becomes.

But I keep asking myself:
Is it really a choice if suffering is what's pushing me toward death?
Because when the only options are either to keep enduring an existence that feels like torture, or to want peace—then that's not a real choice. That's desperation. That's being boxed into a corner by pain.

The system tells people like me to "hang in there" or "get help"—but what help? There's no cure. The support is barely there. And even when I try to explain what it's like, it feels like no one really listens. I'm left to suffer, and then judged if I start questioning whether I can keep doing this.

What makes it worse is how the system frames everything. They say life is sacred, that we should never allow assisted death—because it's dangerous, or immoral, or whatever excuse they come up with. But all that does is trap people like me in bodies and minds that can't heal. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask for it. But now I'm expected to just endure it until the end—no matter how long that takes or how much it hurts.

Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason they keep people like me alive is because, even in suffering, we're still "useful" to the system. We still pay rent, still buy food, still take medications. We're still statistics. That's a horrible thought—but honestly, it doesn't feel like compassion is what's keeping us here. It feels like control.

Forcing someone to keep living just because "life is precious" isn't kindness. It's cruelty dressed up as morality.
The real tragedy isn't that people like me think about death.
The real tragedy is that the system gave us no better option.

 

[Susannah]

I got a brain injury when I was 30 years old, and it changed everything. Not just physically—but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I lost the ability to concentrate, to think clearly, to function the way I used to. It feels like the person I was supposed to be got erased, and no one gave me a guide on how to live with what was left.

The worst part is that despite it being incurable, despite the suffering being constant and exhausting, the government and the system still expect me to keep going as if I'm fine. As if life automatically has value no matter how unbearable it becomes.

But I keep asking myself:
Is it really a choice if suffering is what's pushing me toward death?
Because when the only options are either to keep enduring an existence that feels like torture, or to want peace—then that's not a real choice. That's desperation. That's being boxed into a corner by pain.

The system tells people like me to "hang in there" or "get help"—but what help? There's no cure. The support is barely there. And even when I try to explain what it's like, it feels like no one really listens. I'm left to suffer, and then judged if I start questioning whether I can keep doing this.

What makes it worse is how the system frames everything. They say life is sacred, that we should never allow assisted death—because it's dangerous, or immoral, or whatever excuse they come up with. But all that does is trap people like me in bodies and minds that can't heal. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask for it. But now I'm expected to just endure it until the end—no matter how long that takes or how much it hurts.

Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason they keep people like me alive is because, even in suffering, we're still "useful" to the system. We still pay rent, still buy food, still take medications. We're still statistics. That's a horrible thought—but honestly, it doesn't feel like compassion is what's keeping us here. It feels like control.

Forcing someone to keep living just because "life is precious" isn't kindness. It's cruelty dressed up as morality.
The real tragedy isn't that people like me think about death.
The real tragedy is that the system gave us no better option.

You put into words what I feel, and have tried to put into words. Why do we have so little power over our own lives?

Everyone agrees that quality of life is more important than quantity.
Of course we are useful in the "system". Doctors, nurses, therapists, surgeons, social workers, the pharmaceutical industry, the tax system. The list of "profiteers" is long.

There is actually a financial gain for the society. And I think the "normal-life-people" need us so they can feel a little bit luckier in life. We who suffer without any chance to recover serves as a reminder of how bad life can be.

 

[monolog]

Evolutionary justified dissonance
Existence > suffering
But actually
Suffering > existence
I don't understand why in our advanced civilisation we still didn't manage to ensure painless death to all who are in severe pain all the time

 

[QuiMalignanturExter]

The worst part is that despite it being incurable, despite the suffering being constant and exhausting, the government and the system still expect me to keep going as if I'm fine. As if life automatically has value no matter how unbearable it becomes.
.....
The system tells people like me to "hang in there" or "get help"—but what help? There's no cure. The support is barely there. And even when I try to explain what it's like, it feels like no one really listens. I'm left to suffer, and then judged if I start questioning whether I can keep doing this.
.....
Forcing someone to keep living just because "life is precious" isn't kindness. It's cruelty dressed up as morality.

They don't value "life," I feel, but it's more accurate to say they fetishize "clinical aliveness" itself; however, I do not mean "fetish" in the sexual sense of the term, but more so in the spiritual/religious sense -- such as one of this Merriam-Webster page's definitions:

"broadly: a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence"

It's utterly baffling to me how a person can be in just about the most wretched condition imaginable, yet the majority of the human population balks at the notion of helping that person end their life, but even worse than that, somehow sincerely believe that they are the compassionate ones?!

 

[yomander369]

I understand your pain. I'm stuck with a back injury that gets worse every day. I can't walk, sit or lie down without extreme pain and discomfort. Even worse, my condition is undiagnosable, doesn't show up in standard MRIs.

CTB is the rational option for people like us. Friends and family will never understand. From the outside you can never understand what being tortured by your own body is like.

 

[divinemistress36]

As a fellow brain injury survivor its hell. If you look normal you arent takin seriously. There isnt much resources for us despite the lies spread that there is

 

[mirage]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

 

[Hotsackage]

Can relate, it's pretty brutal.

 

[divinemistress36]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

If you fail your ctb attempt though in the USA you get thrown in a psych hospital and they can keep you there if you are a danger to yourself so they kind of can force you to live

 

[Phhi49]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

There is always that exception to prove the rule. I would say something like that just fine (out of respect for ones own choice).

Lil comical note to show.
A obvious ex-girlfriend by now, asked me once; Do these pants make my butt look fat? And helpful as i always like to be, i answered; The blame for your butt to look fat is not on those pants. Kinda common joke that goes around, but she couldn't laugh about it back then.
Tact is not my middle name, direct, honest and not to bright i'd say, are.

 

[dead-orchids]

I understand your pain. I'm stuck with a back injury that gets worse every day. I can't walk, sit or lie down without extreme pain and discomfort. Even worse, my condition is undiagnosable, doesn't show up in standard MRIs.

CTB is the rational option for people like us. Friends and family will never understand. From the outside you can never understand what being tortured by your own body is like.

I completely agree with this. I feel like the people who don't understand think that ctb is selfish, an emotional decision, etc. But it often is the only option left when nothing else works to relieve the pain and suffering. Why can't they be happy that we're no longer suffering, that we're finally at peace?

 

[KillingPain267]

That's a horrible thought—but honestly, it doesn't feel like compassion is what's keeping us here. It feels like control.

So true

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

The point is that society works hard to ban methods for us to make our end as peaceful and painless as possible...because reasons.

Why can't they be happy that we're no longer suffering, that we're finally at peace?

Because they're actually just as selfish as we are. Everyone is selfish but everyone claims not to be.

 

[T-Heart]

One of the best posts I've seen!


Obviously everything would be easier without this f society on all sides of the web, bothering us even though they never went through what we went through.

They tell us what to do and they talk about their stable life in such an annoyingly way, then wonder why they can't stop people from kts.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

It's cruelty dressed up as morality.

Thank you for putting into words what I have felt for a long time. Living in this moment in time and having any neurological issues/injury is one of the most difficult situations to be in, imo, because there is so much collectively we still don't know about the brain and nervous system. I think it is really difficult for the average person to understand how hard living with this type of condition is, because many people can relate to breaking a bone, or even something like having appendicitis or a kidney stone, but few will suffer prolonged neurological problems at a younger age.

Current regulatory and scientific processes are extremely slow, even though there are people so desperate and in pain that they would rather die, it's still impossible to get your hands on a lot of "experimental" things. When you are suffering like this, a 1% chance of improvement feels better than nothing. I don't think there is enough awareness of how profoundly disabling and life-limiting brain injuries and neurological conditions can be, especially when other people perceive you as 'functioning well' but you can't remember entire chunks of life or events, you can't focus, can't talk very much or keep a train of thought... It is truly awful, and I really feel for you, especially when you have been on here for as long as I have and are still dealing with these health struggles.

Even people who are working in healthcare or public policy, who should be a bit more objective and scientifically minded about the limitations of current treatment options (or lack thereof) seem to pivot towards those same ideas though that life is inherently good, is always good, and that rejecting this notion in one's own situation is vehemently disturbing. This is because they love their own lives, and can't fathom someone not being able to have an acceptable quality of life. It's paternalistic, like, "We know better than you about your own life, and you just can't see that. We're doing what's best for you."

Sometimes people don't realize their idea of "doing what's best" is actively harming the other person and making them feel even more trapped and miserable. Like you I have lived with my issues for many years now, and a certain point wasn't given any more help for terrible chronic pain, because of this bullshit fear mongering over pain medications. A lot of the medical establishment has a serious issue now with safetyism over actually treating patients and giving them a more favourable quality of life, as opposed to trying to artificially drag out a lifespan spent in pain by withholding anything risky.

I understand how frustrated you feel. I've been told the same things over and over again and I genuinely don't understand it. Anyone who spends enough time with a person suffering from chronic health conditions can see that we do not choose to suffer like this. Yet, are expected to carry on as if these problems, as if being bothered by them is a choice. It's hard to accept that sometimes people can try their hardest and still suffer through no fault of their own.

I don't care what the majority thinks anymore, constantly telling people living in abysmal situations that we need to just keep pushing when we've expressed that we just can't anymore IS cruelty.

 

[Darkover]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

On the surface, it is technically your decision—but when you're in severe, ongoing pain (mental or physical), and there's no legal or safe way out, it starts to feel less like a decision and more like being trapped.

People say "it's your choice," but then society builds every barrier it can to stop you from acting on that choice. If you're suffering and say you want to die, people either ignore it, panic, or call emergency services. You're told to survive no matter what—even if you've exhausted every avenue for help.

Saying "no one can force you to live" is true in a literal sense, but when all the systems—legal, medical, societal, even emotional—are built around preventing you from making that choice in peace, it doesn't feel like freedom. It feels like obligation.

It's your choice whether to live or die," it can feel so hollow—because yeah, technically it's your choice, but in reality, the government and society have made sure that any peaceful, painless, and dignified option is completely out of reach for most people.

They've criminalized assisted dying in nearly every circumstance unless you're terminally ill—and even then, it's a long and tightly restricted process. If you're chronically ill, mentally suffering, or dealing with incurable damage like a brain injury, you're basically told: "Tough. Endure it. We won't help you, but we also won't let you go peacefully."

So what kind of choice is that, really? When the only options left are violent, traumatic, or botched? It's not freedom—it's entrapment. It's like saying, "You're free to leave the burning building, but we've locked all the doors except one that leads through fire."

 

[Douggy82]

Suicide is a reasonable and logical response to chronic, debilitating incurable pain

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can only come to the conclusion that they don't care about people's suffering. Or at least, maybe they only care about the people who would be affected by losing someone to suicide. Maybe because they are more eager to please those people because they maybe more likely vote and pay taxes.

I think societies like to think of themselves as noble when they provide welfare to those who can't work. Even if they don't provide enough and even if those receiving support would rather die. I suppose they can pretend to everyone that they have a social conscience and that they would rather support rather than slaughter.

Obviously, it wouldn't technically be slaughter. It would be assisting suicides. However, what if society starts to insideously shove certain demographics of people in that direction? As it is, they want to cut benefits all over the place. If we have an assisted suicide programme in place also- it could become a pretty lazy solution for them. They could effectively make people want to CTB if they cut their funding.

Plus, they maybe want a certain proportion of the population on long-term medication. They likely have shares and mates in the big pharmaceutical companies.