• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
464
I don't have a specific date in mind but I know that I cannot until at least May of next year. It feels like an eternity having to wait and I'm scared the anxiety of it all could become too much. But once I reach a certain day in May I'm just going to wait until the time feels right - I think if I picked a day it would just be too hard
 
  • Like
Reactions: SteamaHorns
_crgam

_crgam

Member
Nov 17, 2024
10
I thought about doing it many times, but when the day actually comes I notice I am just too much of a coward to actually do it, altough I want. I hate myself so much for being even too useless to kill myself properly.

Everyday when I wake up I take minutes to actually have the power to stand up from bed cause I just want to lay and die, but then I try to set a date and still cant do it...fuck this stupid survival instinct bullshit!
My ctb date is tomorrow morning at 3 a.m. Hopefully, I can go through with it because I think I'm ready. Also, I completely understand how you feel. There were so many times I backed out of my attempts because of the fear of death and the unknown of what comes after. I'd always end up feeling so upset with myself, thinking I was a coward, especially knowing that so many others could do it without hesitation. Recently, though, I've come to accept that no one, including me, really knows what happens after death: we won't truly know until it happens. That said, I think it's finally my time to end it all. Everything in my life has gone wrong, and this feels like my only sense of escape. If I do go through with it, I wish you the best of luck.
I hope you find the peace you're searching for, whether it comes through life or death :)
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: ItsyBitsyWeetard, dontlook and SteamaHorns
SteamaHorns

SteamaHorns

Member
Aug 2, 2024
65
If things don't brighten up for me in a meaningful way within my self-allotted time, then I'll go through with my plan as soon as possible next year. Ideally I'll be able to do it right after New Years, but realistically I know that it'll probably take a bit more time. I'll probably feel scared once it comes to it, but for some reason don't really feel any sort of fear of the coming day during the past few months. Maybe my mind is just incapable of really processing the fact that I may die soon, or maybe I'm subconsciously ignoring it, I don't really know.
 
toxicjester

toxicjester

The world’s worst jester
Dec 11, 2023
97
I don't currently have one and the thought of having one stresses me out. It feels like another deadline.

That being set, I'd prolly do it sometime during winter/cold weather if I'm using CO/charcoals because heat. I'd prolly have to have a date closer to when I'd need to do it since it'd be a whole outing prolly
 
dontlook

dontlook

watch out. the gap in the door
Nov 13, 2024
196
I don't have a date set. I'm still trying to wrestle with myself and whether or not I should actually commit. I'm not sure if a date would help me relax or just stress me out more, but I'm leaning towards the latter.

My ctb date is tomorrow morning at 3 a.m. Hopefully, I can go through with it because I think I'm ready. Also, I completely understand how you feel. There were so many times I backed out of my attempts because of the fear of death and the unknown of what comes after. I'd always end up feeling so upset with myself, thinking I was a coward, especially knowing that so many others could do it without hesitation. Recently, though, I've come to accept that no one, including me, really knows what happens after death: we won't truly know until it happens. That said, I think it's finally my time to end it all. Everything in my life has gone wrong, and this feels like my only sense of escape. If I do go through with it, I wish you the best of luck.
I hope you find the peace you're searching for, whether it comes through life or death :)
Ah, will you be making a goodbye/attempt post? Is that soon? For my time zone that's a little over 3 hours away.

I hope you find what you're looking for either way 💟
 
  • Love
Reactions: _crgam
failureofahuman

failureofahuman

Born failure, live failure, die failure
Nov 1, 2024
51
Nope, I think I'll know when the time is right
 
_crgam

_crgam

Member
Nov 17, 2024
10
I don't have a date set. I'm still trying to wrestle with myself and whether or not I should actually commit. I'm not sure if a date would help me relax or just stress me out more, but I'm leaning towards the latter.


Ah, will you be making a goodbye/attempt post? Is that soon? For my time zone that's a little over 3 hours away.

I hope you find what you're looking for either way 💟
I've been thinking about it, but in case something goes wrong or it gets postponed, I don't want to make a fool of myself if it ends up being a failed attempt. I'll still consider it, though. For me, it's just a little over 4 hours until I plan to go.

Also, thank you- I really hope so too :)
 
  • Love
Reactions: dontlook
squidsponge

squidsponge

Member
Sep 22, 2024
45
I want to do it ideally before Christmas so I don't have to spend the holidays alone again. I wanted to do it earlier, around December 1st, but I don't think my sn will arrive on time. If it does, I plan to do it as soon as I get my hands on it.
Isn't Christmas a tricky time because that would mean your family attending a funeral right before or after the new year
 
maka

maka

this is for you, mi cuervito 𓇢𓆸
Apr 23, 2019
171
Isn't Christmas a tricky time because that would mean your family attending a funeral right before or after the new year

I do not have a family, fortunately. It's just me out here against the world.
 
  • Love
Reactions: squidsponge

Similar threads

charaunderground
Replies
0
Views
112
Suicide Discussion
charaunderground
charaunderground
SwanLakeDance
Replies
4
Views
274
Suicide Discussion
Electra
Electra
belly.up4good
Replies
9
Views
495
Suicide Discussion
belly.up4good
belly.up4good