• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
You're honestly so brilliant. Thank you so much for being so understanding.

We're fighting the same fight here I assure you. Others can never truly understand the agonising mental anguish of those with our condition. You are doing amazingly well and showing great strength and resilience. It's inspiring. My PM is always open if you need :hug:
 
  • Love
Reactions: anonbpdgirl
S

Suilven

Member
Sep 19, 2019
15
I've been in the pit of loathing myself over my weight, losing weight and getting out of it, and getting back in it again.

A few thoughts from my experiences. Firstly, yes losing weight makes a big difference to mental health, not only because it takes some issues off your plate, but increased physical health does improve brain chemistry so it helps you deal with things from a better place. It improves energy levels as well so it generally puts you in a better place to deal with anything.

Also, with exercise you will find that you create endorphins which act as a sort of natural antidepressant. They also become a bit addictive meaning you want to do more so it reverses some of the catch 22 depression can put you in.

However I think the most important thing is to find a way that you want to do it rather than having to do it. If you have to do it, if it becomes punitive, focusing hard on goals and measurements and tiny improvements I think it becomes unpleasant and hard to stick to.

Also it helps for the process to be its own reward. If you do it because you enjoy it then it will be difficult to fail.

If you do it because you think it will magically lead to outcome x y and z then you might stop as soon as it doesn't go the way you expected.

For me I was in a really bad place and hugely overweight to the point I could hardly walk. What made me want to change it was my love of nature and desire to see more wild beautiful places. I started small going for short strolls by the coast. The fresh air and daylight helped a lot, and the endorphins made it so I looked forward to going out again.

I started joining it with other interests like photography, camping, hill climbing and fishing and ended up itching to go out rather than making excuses not to.

Don't be hard on yourself. Don't be too strict and punitive. Make your life easy by finding a way to make it enjoyable.

I still struggle with addictions to food, I think I always will, but at least I know I can have some things I want and feel a bit less bad about it when I know I'll be expending the energy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: anonbpdgirl
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Of course it's worth it. It won't solve all your problems but it will certainly make life a lot better. It's important to also deal with the emotional stuff that is driving u to use food to medicate yourself too. I think if u ignore that part u will not succeed at keeping weight off.
 
  • Like
Reactions: azucaramargo and Suilven
N

noaccount

Enlightened
Oct 26, 2019
1,099
Here are the very best resources I have found on this issue.
and

It's important to look at the strain that calorie restriction places on our hearts, our brains and so on.

Besides the pressures around being attractive, mainstream social acceptance, and avoiding discrimination from doctors -- I've had to ask how much I'm distressed by the size/shape of my body because of trauma around being visible / being a target / having gendered stereotypes pushed on me / being treated as an object or 'property' by the legal system / despair that I feel like an occupied territory colonized by my abusers and can only escape through 'disappearing'. But the abuses of power are the problem, not our bodies!
 
Ratherbeskinny

Ratherbeskinny

"Insert profound quote here."
Oct 28, 2019
108
I wish it did, but it doesn't. Sorry.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wolfjob_dayjob
S

Santiago

Mage
Mar 25, 2018
588
Well not necessarily weight related, but I can share my short story. My suicidal thoughts and depression started with me feeling extremely ugly at the age of 13. This continued for years. I couldn't go outside to face anyone and even struggled to show myself to my own family. Yes I suffer from BDD, but then again I know I truly wasn't good looking.

Fast forward to me now (22 years old) and I am very happy with my looks. I can compare myself to pictures of back then and I look like a completely different person. No longer have the feeling people are judging me and even get compliments here and there.

Nice story you may think, but the catch is that me looking better didn't fix my problems at all. I realize now that my problems are way bigger and deeper than I thought. I always assumed that all I needed in life was to look good and then everything will be right, but that's not true.

I guess it's one of the main reasons I keep coming back to this suicidal state of mind. I dreamt of so many things when I was younger (a good career, looks, money, etc... basically all the generic bs) and now that I have them I realize they don't make the difference.

They help a tiny little bit, but they aren't a cure. I guess I am still in search of a cure, but the pessimistic side of me tells me it doesn't exist.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Wow
Reactions: azucaramargo, zherhk and Science Is Scary
zherhk

zherhk

Student
Nov 25, 2019
126
If your mental illness depended on the shape you're unhappy with then sure and you weren't wondering.
It could help and maybe be surprised.
No harm in trying.
 
N

noaccount

Enlightened
Oct 26, 2019
1,099
There may be quite a lot of harm in trying. Calorie restriction and the effects of starvation culture do a lot to damage people's relationships with their bodies, create cardiovascular risks and yo-yo effects that compromise health in many ways. Of course people have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies, but since this is posted in "recovery," I don't want to pretend it is safe.

"Why do we think that the sensation of hunger is suspect?

There are a plethora of studies, all conducted in the field of psychology, that suggest eating for any other purpose than for the replenishment of energy, to allow for the correct functioning of your body, is "emotional eating". Presumably "emotional eating" is bad because addressing "emotional eating" appears to allow for more success with weight loss. 11 This is a profoundly circular argument that actually offers no scientific data that emotional salience in the human consumption of food has any negative affect whatsoever unless weight loss is a paramount goal.

Given that fat tissue is not a storage unit but a hormone-producing organ; and given that energy restriction generates undifferentiated damage throughout the body, then losing weight is always a process of organ destruction and therefore hardly an ideal pursuit for any human being to undertake willfully and purposefully.

I have described in other posts our profound misunderstanding of the value of emotional eating in this way:
When you struggle with an eating disorder, so much of the social/emotional connections with food consumption have been hijacked by eating disorder-related anxieties. This disconnect is also heavily reinforced by our society's current preoccupation with the presumed superiority of what I once called autistic eating (referencing parallel nomenclature used in economics, namely autistic economics). However, it is an incorrect term to use because autism is not a condition lacking in an emotional landscape, rather it is a variation on the usual development of theory of mind.

So, I'm going to rename this issue in our society: the reverence attributed to consciousness eating (sometimes misattributed as mindful eating).
Consciousness eating presumes that having our emotions active and interacting with our hunger and satiation cues is inferior to the process of applying our conscious, or logical mind, to the assessment of whether the desire we feel to eat is in fact something that must be addressed for logical reasons.
We cannot eat logically. Our logical minds are too late to the evolutionary party, by millennia, to actually offer any value to how we pursue and stay optimally energized.
This reverence of the logical mind and twinned disdain of the emotional mind is, from an evolutionary perspective, ludicrous. The structures within your brain that support your emotional landscape are robust, distributed and ensure your survival to a level that your logical mind couldn't even hope to achieve on its best coffee-upped day!"



"Various stressors might cause the fat organ to have to increase in size to protect your life: persistent insomnia, unrelenting and out-of-your-control stress, various prescription drugs impacting either pulse rates and/or levels of various reproductive, digestive, and/or metabolic hormones, the exposure to various endocrine disruptors in everyday hygiene, make-up and household products, various disease states and of course unknown genetic predispositions as well.

Restriction of food intake is a monstrous stressor. However, although the time span is variable, the fat organ will usually return to its optimal heritable size when the stressors that caused it to have to work harder (and increase in size) resolve.
Fat is the largest hormone-producing organ in your body. The size or increase-in-size of the fat organ is not correlated to food intake or activity levels. You'll need to read Weight Gain Correlates in Literature Part 1 and 2 if you need the definitive science on those facts.
Yet we still cling to the idea that we just need to "eat healthy" and "get out more" and that's that.

In other words, people with diabetes and/or cardiovascular disease, don't have those conditions because they are fat.
The causes of the onset of those metabolic conditions are largely unknown and most certainly multivariate, but the increase in size in the fat organ in response to the presence of such a condition appears to happen in an effort to try modulate and alleviate the impact of the metabolic condition on the body. "
 
Last edited:
Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
I lost a shit load of weight around 3 stone, I still felt like shit, it didn't change the pain, it didn't change my past, it didn't stop the flash backs, Yes I gained some confidence, but the reality it of it for me was it made no difference
Sorry I know people above say other wise, but meh, I don't believe in sugar coating stuff, and seeing both sides of thing's is better then rose tinted glasses!
Given that weight loss may work for you, you can never know until you try it!
Oh and ive put my weight back on plus some!!
What is 3 stone? What is it in pounds?
So, I'm grossly overweight due to my mental illness. Can't cook for myself. Buy shitty food. Can't deal with being hungry, which I am all the time, because it fills that hole where emotion should be.

Anyway... I've always hated my body. Like seriously hated it. I've felt trapped, unable to do the things I want or talk to people. I can't look in mirrors or buy clothes even when I desperately need them. I fucking despise myself.

I've tried time and time again to lose weight. It never works because I always fail. I give in to the cravings. I give in to my sadness. I fucking suck.

I'm trying again now. I've even signed up to a gym, for fuck sake. But is it even worth it? Is any of this worth it? Trust me when I say I'm trying to do it healthily — it just not going well... It never does for me. I'm in pain from being so hungry and I'm so tired from working so hard.

Is losing weight going to solve my problems? Will I feel confident, happier? Will I be able to buy clothes and take photos without crying? I know it won't take away my mental illness, but will it make it easier? If I go through this fucking hellshit? Have any of you been through this? Is anything worth it, ever?
You know that show my 600lb life? You should go to the website of Dr. Nowzaradan. I think I that's how you spell his name. And you can get the diet people go on where they lose 40-50 pounds in a month of you follow it. I know how hard it is to diet. I love eating. I'm Italian so it kind of comes with the territory. It was never an emotional thing. I just love eating. I do it when I'm bored which since I can't leave the house since in physically sick, has been a lot. I have to lose the ten pounds I just gained. I swear sometimes I just want to get up to 600 pounds and then just end it. I know I could if I let myself too. Eating is comforting. It's something that makes you feel good for a couple minutes and then you feel like a pig. I hate it they good has to make us fat. Wish we could just eat and eat an never gain weight.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: MissNietzsche
Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
If you don't have time to cook healthy, well you can buy ready-to-eat salmon fillets, and avocados.
Those don't need any preparation time.
And eat an apple every day.

Also you can get some bags of unsalted, unroasted mixed nuts and raisins, for snacking.
Dates and prunes are also good healthy snacks.
Cashew nuts are good also.
And dark chocolate, 80% or higher.
Just start refusing to buy crap....
Also, organic free range eggs are a good idea.
Although it takes a bit of getting used to the first few times, you can eat them raw to save time and effort.
You simply crack them into a glass and drink (one or two at a time).
Or you can soft boil them. The more you cook them, the more you spoil the goodness they contain.
Eggs contain tons of good stuff.
Cashews are very fattening. Almonds are what people shood eat. And no chocolate at all if you are trying to lose weight. And avocados are pure fat.
 
J

jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
Cashews are very fattening. Almonds are what people shood eat. And no chocolate at all if you are trying to lose weight. And avocados are pure fat.
Well, there are many differing views on a lot of these things. Avocados are considered to be healthy fats and very good for you. Dark chocolate has many health benefits....
But yes, you need some moderation, and you need to keep your total daily calories under some sort of control....
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wolfjob_dayjob
MissNietzsche

MissNietzsche

Specialist
Aug 1, 2019
343
Cashews are very fattening. Almonds are what people shood eat. And no chocolate at all if you are trying to lose weight. And avocados are pure fat.

Wrong. Almonds and cashews are the same level of "fattening". They have basically the same number of Calories
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wolfjob_dayjob
X

XXX

Member
Nov 27, 2019
21
It won't make any trauma or mental illness go away, but it will definitely improve your quality of life and health in general. Just take baby steps and increase exercise gradually (otherwise you'll just hurt yourself and start hating it even more). Don't try to starve yourself - also improve your diet gradually.

It can be rewarding and even intellectually interesting.
 
MissNietzsche

MissNietzsche

Specialist
Aug 1, 2019
343
It won't make any trauma or mental illness go away, but it will definitely improve your quality of life and health in general. Just take baby steps and increase exercise gradually (otherwise you'll just hurt yourself and start hating it even more). Don't try to starve yourself - also improve your diet gradually.

It can be rewarding and even intellectually interesting.

intellectually interesting? How so?
 
X

XXX

Member
Nov 27, 2019
21
All the stuff about how body works, nutrition, body awareness, different styles of exercise, etc. I wasn't morbidly obese, but I completely changed my lifestyle 9 years ago. Stopped drinking, started exercising, better diet... and it became so interesting that it wasn't really even a hardship.
 
N

noaccount

Enlightened
Oct 26, 2019
1,099
Health at Every Size: The New Peace Movement

We're losing the war on obesity. Fighting fat has not made the fat go away. However, extensive "collateral damage" has resulted: Food and body preoccupation, self-hatred, eating disorders, weight cycling, weight discrimination, poor health. . . . Few of us are at peace with our bodies, whether because we're fat or because we fear becoming fat. It's time to withdraw the troops. There is a compassionate alternative to the war—Health at Every Size—which has proven to be much more successful at health improvement—and without the unwanted side effects. (1, 2) The scientific research consistently shows that common assumptions underlying the war on obesity just don't stand up to the evidence.
Assumption: "Overweight" and "obese" people die sooner than leaner people.
False! Almost all epidemiologic studies indicate people in the overweight or moderately obese categories live at least as long— or longer—than people in the normal weight category. The most comprehensive review of the research pooled data from 26 studies and found overweight to be associated with greater longevity than normal weight. (3) Analysis of the National Health and Nutrition Examination Surveys I, II, and III, which followed the largest nationally representative cohort of U.S. adults, also determined that the "ideal" weight for longevity was in the "overweight" category. (4. 274)
Assumption: Being "overweight" or "obese" puts people at significant health risk.
False! Epidemiological studies rarely acknowledge factors like fitness, activity, nutrient intake, weight cycling, or socioeconomic status when considering connections between weight and disease. Yet all play a role. When studies do control for these factors, increased risk of disease disappears or is significantly reduced. (5) What's likely going on here is that these other factors increase disease risk at the same time they increase the risk of weight gain.
Assumption: Anyone who is determined can lose weight and keep it off.
False! The vast majority of people who try to lose weight regain it, regardless of whether they maintain their diet or exercise program.(6, 7)This occurs in all studies, no matter how many calories or what proportions of fat, protein or carbohydrates are used in the diet, or what types of exercise programs are pursued. Many studies also show that dieting is a strong predictor of future weight gain. (8-14)
Assumption: Weight loss will prolong life.
False! No one has ever shown that losing weight prolongs life. Some studies actually indicate that intentional weight loss increases the risk of dying early from certain diseases. (15-20)
Assumption: The only way for "overweight" people to improve health is to lose weight.
False! Most health indicators can be improved through changing health behaviors, regardless of whether weight is lost. (5) For example, lifestyle changes can reduce blood pressure, largely or completely independent of changes in body weight. (1, 21, 22) The same can be said for blood lipids. (1, 23, 24) Improvements in insulin sensitivity and blood lipids as a result of aerobic exercise training have been documented even in persons who actually gained body fat while participating in the intervention. (24, 25)
Assumption: Health is declining as a result of an "obesity epidemic."
False! While it's true that we're moderately fatter than we used to be, life expectancy has increased dramatically during the same time period in which our weight rose (from 70.8 years in 1970 to 77.8 years in 2005).26 That's right, government statistics predict that the average kid can now expect to live almost eight years longer than his or her parents! Not only are we living longer than ever before, but we're healthier than ever and chronic disease is appearing much later in life. (26) Death rates attributed to heart disease have steadily declined throughout the entire spike in obesity. (27 ) Both the World Health Organization and the Social Security Administration project life expectancy to continue to rise in coming decades. (28, 29) We are simply not seeing the catastrophic consequences predicted to result from the "obesity epidemic."
Blame Economics
Why do these faulty assumptions continue to proliferate and why isn't the reality more widely known? There can only be one explanation when science so blatantly contradicts popular thought: economics. There is a huge industry that benefits from widening the boundaries of what is considered a problematic weight, including weight loss centers, supplement makers, drug companies, physicians, and purveyors of diet books, foods and programs. Even scientists benefit by getting research grants and serving as consultants, or by running weight loss centers at universities. Convincing us of a crisis can also aid government agencies in obtaining congressional funding. And expert panels that create public policy and determine research funding are populated by individuals with financial conflicts of interests.
That said, I do not believe that those engaging in this damaging paradigm are part of a widespread conspiracy. We are all raised with the assumption that fat is bad and permanent weight loss can be achieved through dietary change and exercise. These assumptions are so strongly a part of our cultural landscape that they are regarded as self-evident, and few even consider questioning them. As a result, many well-intentioned, caring people unknowingly collude and transmit this cultural bias. Also, there is little reward for questioning these assumptions, other than peace of mind. Indeed, for a professional to challenge these ideas is tantamount to career suicide; this is in stark contrast to the large financial/status incentive for supporting the old paradigm.
What Can You Do?
Refuse to fight in an unjust war. Join the new peace movement:
"Health at Every Size" (HAES). HAES acknowledges that well-being and healthy habits are more important than any number on the scale. Participating is simple:
  1. Accept your size. Love and appreciate the body you have. Self-acceptance empowers you to move on and make positive changes.
  2. Trust yourself. We all have internal systems designed to keep us healthy—and at a healthy weight. Support your body in naturally finding its appropriate weight by honoring its signals of hunger, fullness, and appetite.
  3. Adopt healthy lifestyle habits. Develop and nurture connections with others and look for purpose and meaning in your life. Fulfilling your social, emotional, and spiritual needs restores food to its rightful place as a source of nourishment and pleasure.
  • Find the joy in moving your body and becoming more physically vital in your everyday life.
  • Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full, and seek out pleasurable and satisfying foods.
  • Tailor your tastes so that you enjoy more nutritious foods, staying mindful that there is plenty of room for less nutritious choices in the context of an overall healthy diet and lifestyle.
  1. Embrace size diversity. Humans come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Open to the beauty found across the spectrum and support others in recognizing their unique attractiveness.
 
dedalus1238900

dedalus1238900

Pharmacology Enthusist
Nov 28, 2019
45
As everyone mentioned physically yes you probably will feel better and as someone mentioned it may be side effects of medication, or even unknowing self sabotage. There is a catch 22. What would happen if you could move your brain into your ideal body. It probably won't; there are also negative issues occur when you change something. There are negatives about almost everything. Some of the most successful people in this world whether being rich, have a amazing career, being famous or being a model. Some of those people we wish had their life are unaware of how miserable they are or depressed or anxious.

I had a similar issue where I had a goal to lose weight, start dating, and thought doing it would make me happy. But I was still the same person. I wasn't able to go back to erase or change things and all it brought was new problems. I was glad I lost weight but I still had feelings of no self confidence trying hard to be everything to everyone and I eventually gained some weight back to average. But it never fixed deeper factors or trauma that I thought it would I still was the same person mentally.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Girlfriends 25 stone but she doesn't give a shit. What makes her depressed is me. It's stopping her getting pregnant though. That and turning 40
 

Similar threads

crescentmoonisland
Replies
7
Views
163
Offtopic
softgirlluna
softgirlluna
Renv1o_
Replies
2
Views
183
Suicide Discussion
Clam
Clam
L
Replies
6
Views
201
Suicide Discussion
losttagain
L
K
Replies
5
Views
220
Suicide Discussion
foreverlanguish
foreverlanguish
F
Replies
0
Views
94
Suicide Discussion
fantasia13
F