Would falling in love help you leave? or keep you here longer?

[Morning Angel]

Would falling in love with someone who's suicidal help you leave?
What if they were not suicidal and couldn't understand your need to go?
Would you still take the opportunity?

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Ya I would all I've wanted really in my life is love and most of my past relationships were with girls who were suicidal and they were the ones I fell most for but also got hurt the most from. For some reason I don't see myself being with someone that is happy because I'm not and they just wouldn't understand me. Sad part is idk if I can still get strong feelings anymore which is why i picked this sn.

 

[Tiburcio]

Love is a double-edged sword and it can be very beautiful and rainbow coloured or it can destroy and bring you to misery.

Honestly if I am already considering to end my life, I wouldn't care taking that risk but I feel bad for my couple...

 

[anna]

I was in both cases
a suicidal couple like me (a little less ..) and another that was not
I did not give too much importance to this ... I've always been honest in my relationships
I finished both and although the tendency influenced to some extent, it was not what ended with them
and nothing changed in my

 

[Smilla]

I'm incapable of falling in love. I used to be incredibly romantic, naively so.

My love life has basically been a disaster. I no longer desire for or care about romantic relationships.

 

[okyeah]

Therapy has helped me understand that the circumstances of how I was raised and the constant isolation/alienation I've experienced since early high school will make it that I never will really have a real relationship with a woman. (My therapist would deny this but I know it's true). I've had chances in the past but my mental issues and passiveness have fucked me. Maybe in another timeline where I wasn't an only child to a pair of incompetent morons and I had a healthy weight my whole life - then I'd be a successful, confident person in a healthy relationship.

 

[creatureoflight]

I'm in love with my BF and it is keeping me from killing myself

 

[QueenEtna]

Me and my girlfriend are both suicidal, our love and us being together is the only thing keeping us alive.

 

[ge0rge]

nahhhhh fuck that shit. I'm not into men any more. from now on all my love goes to jesus,,

 

[typx]

If you don't love yourself you can't really love someone else. You can cling to them desperately like a drowning victim.. but it only ends with you both sinking.

 

[Morning Angel]

nahhhhh fuck that shit. I'm not into men any more. from now on all my love goes to jesus,,

Hold up, george... what is your gender id? I assumed you were a guy. If you are, that would mean you're gay which is a-ok. Just confused?

 

[Smilla]

If you don't love yourself you can't really love someone else. You can cling to them desperately like a drowning victim.. but it only ends with you both sinking.

This is psycho babble bull crap

 

[typx]

This is psycho babble bull crap

Nah.. it's just a hard pill to swallow. Looking to another person to fill that loveless void inside you doesn't end well. It may seem fine for a while but it is unsustainable. A dog or cat probably does it better than a person as their love is unconditional. But humans don't work like that.

 

[Morning Angel]

Therapy has helped me understand that the circumstances of how I was raised and the constant isolation/alienation I've experienced since early high school will make it that I never will really have a real relationship with a woman. (My therapist would deny this but I know it's true).

I honestly believe myself that some people are not meant to be loved in this lifetime. Not saying anything intrinsically about the person's worth but knowing how this world works and how it's all about looks and your material possessions, I can say myself I have nothing really good to offer. And mentally, some of us really aren't equipped and might never be. I don't think that's a depressive thing to say so much as an honest one.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Ya i dont love myself and probably never will.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm in a relationship and it's not helping. I also have to mention that I'm not very happy right now so maybe it would be different if there wasn't any issues. It delayed my schedule quite a bit but she isn't gonna stop me from committing suicide. I still hope to go in September.

 

[Midnight]

It would keep me here longer. Though i don't actively search for one anymore... Searching for decades and for what. I've had it with that shit to say the least. I'll buy the physical contact if this shit world won't let me have it the normal way.

When it comes to this topic: life gives me lemons? To hell with lemons.. I'll make whiskey.

 

[Smilla]

Nah.. it's just a hard pill to swallow. Looking to another person to fill that loveless void inside you doesn't end well. It may seem fine for a while but it is unsustainable. A dog or cat probably does it better than a person as their love is unconditional. But humans don't work like that.

Some wisdom there.

But we don't exist in a vacuum—if others don't value you, or think your are worthy or beautiful, then how are you supposed to love yourself?

I think if you don't get a kind of unconditional love from your parents in childhood, it can cripple you emotionally in adulthood as you seek it out (wrongly) from romantic partners.

Does that make sense?

 

[typx]

Some wisdom there.

But we don't exist in a vacuum—if others don't value you, or think your are worthy or beautiful, then how are you supposed to love yourself?

I think if you don't get a kind of unconditional love from your parents in childhood, it can cripple you emotionally in adulthood as you seek it out (wrongly) from romantic partners.

Does that make sense?

I think you are absolutely right. A hole was left in you from mistreatment at a young age and you try to fill it. It seems like people who were brought up in environments where their parents caught them when they fell and offered lovingly encouragement have this inner love that sees them through. Like.. they assume the world is loving because they feel internally loved so they get love back from people around them as they put out a vibe. It's not that simple, of course. But it does fit. What do you think?

 

[Tiburcio]

I think you are absolutely right. A hole was left in you from mistreatment at a young age and you try to fill it. It seems like people who were brought up in environments where their parents caught them when they fell and offered lovingly encouragement have this inner love that sees them through. Like.. they assume the world is loving because they feel internally loved so they get love back from people around them as they put out a vibe. It's not that simple, of course. But it does fit. What do you think?

In my case, they knew how aggresive the world was and they did it anyway, they wanted me to live in this jungle, being stronger than nobody at all cost, with no place for love.

But it's only my own experience of course.

 

[Smilla]

I think you are absolutely right. A hole was left in you from mistreatment at a young age and you try to fill it. It seems like people who were brought up in environments where their parents caught them when they fell and offered lovingly encouragement have this inner love that sees them through. Like.. they assume the world is loving because they feel internally loved so they get love back from people around them as they put out a vibe. It's not that simple, of course. But it does fit. What do you think?

Completely agree. Really well stated!

I like the phrase "internally loved". I never had that so I looked to external sources and met with doom.

Childhood really does matter in the long run. You can't manufacture love later in life if you didn't have healthy role models or as you said the encouragement from your parents.

Childhood bullying adds a negative to this equation also. Our environments really shape us.

Anyway I can't pick myself up by the bootstraps anymore and have given up on romantic love.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

Wouldn't change a damn thing, one of my main problems with life is that love is an inequal sitation that profits mainly to good-looking people, who get more love than they need while the non goodlooking barely get scraps or nothing, i find nothing beautiful or noble about it, quite the contrary.

 

[typx]

Yeah that's the thing. You don't just get to be better in adulthood. Things are done to you that you are

Completely agree. Really well stated!

I like the phrase "internally loved". I never had that so I looked to external sources and met with doom.

Childhood really does matter in the long run. You can't manufacture love later in life if you didn't have healthy role models or as you said the encouragement from your parents.

Childhood bullying adds a negative to this equation also. Our environments really shape us.

Anyway I can't pick myself up by the bootstraps anymore and have given up on romantic love.

And the cycle just continues. We can all feel puppy love. The oxytocin buzz. But real love.. off limits. we don't have the equipment. And then you have a kid and pass it on. At least the cycle ends with me.

 

[Xmac000]

Wouldn't help.

 

[6477244ts5]

There was a time it would have probably lifted my mood...but I've been burned so many times it just made things even worse. I could never trust a "normie" again because no matter how much they say they will be there it's been proven they will not. I've been abandoned by family and partners when my health declined and it was not remotely my fault, but they treated me like it was. Somehow I made the doctors fuck up. Only people who suffer as well get it and even most of them are still selfish and shitty...so I've given up on bothering.

 

[Lost1234]

Would falling in love with someone who's suicidal help you leave?
What if they were not suicidal and couldn't understand your need to go?
Would you still take the opportunity?

It had kept me here longer....Sometimes, I think whether all I ever needed was love. I was in love with a suicidal and everything was relatively calmer , until she couldn't handle everything anymore, She had a disturbing childhood, being raped and constantly haunted by her uncle and her selfish parents having to make everything seem like it never happened. she made me want to live more.
I was also in "love" with people who thought my need to go away was immaturity, I was still inclined into staying despite the understanding , but constantly being told that it was my choice not having to look on the brighter side , has made it difficult to stay with people who don't understand.

 

[Morning Angel]

It had kept me here longer....Sometimes, I think whether all I ever needed was love. I was in love with a suicidal and everything was relatively calmer , until she couldn't handle everything anymore, She had a disturbing childhood, being raped and constantly haunted by her uncle and her selfish parents having to make everything seem like it never happened. she made me want to live more.
I was also in "love" with people who thought my need to go away was immaturity, I was still inclined into staying despite the understanding , but constantly being told that it was my choice not having to look on the brighter side , has made it difficult to stay with people who don't understand.

<3 Is it ok to PM you? I have a lot of thoughts on the matter.

 

[RaptorHavx]

I've never experienced love but from I know this is very powerful feeling which possibly could make me stay little longer..

 

[FadedMemory]

If he were suicidal I'd definitely try to help him and keep him happy. I'd try to make him happy enough that he stays a little longer, yes I know that's hypocritical of someone who hates when people say it gets better but I guess everything changes when you actually love that person. Though I myself would have still killed myself if I see that he's better and will manage without me.
If he weren't suicidal, pretty much the same thing, except then I'd keep quiet about my depression until I kill myself. I would still try to be good and kind towards him, but wouldn't act on romantic feelings because I know I would be a terrible gf and I wouldn't want to pull him in this mess.
But no, with what I went through there's nothing that could hold me back to stay more than I want to.

 

[uxorious]

Would falling in love with someone who's suicidal help you leave?
What if they were not suicidal and couldn't understand your need to go?
Would you still take the opportunity?

Doubt it , I had a girlfriend who wanted to leave with me but I got too scared and broke it off. I knew she deserved better. I'm too useless and worthless to stick around for others........ and I've got nothing to give anyway