Discussion Breakup vs Death

[Luv (sic)]

After a breakup with my old girlfriend months ago, that sent me into a everlasting depression ive yet to overcome. I wonder sometimes if a slow tormenting breakup is worse then hypothetically her passing away mid relationship? Which do you think is worse death in the heat of romance or a slow tormenting breakup where you get to see the person you cherished the most treat and disregard you as less then garbage...

 

[purplesky9]

I think my partner wants to break up with me. He has ignored all my texts lately. This is so painful. I just want to die. But I can't I have no reliable method. This sucks so much.

 

[usernamesarehard]

I think a break up is worse than death, we're all going to die someday, if it's early that's unfortunate but also life. A break up is why I'm here and planning my ctb date. Well, the emotional pain from the break up is why I'm here, I don't blame my ex.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

After a breakup with my old girlfriend months ago, that sent me into a everlasting depression ive yet to overcome. I wonder sometimes if a slow tormenting breakup is worse then hypothetically her passing away mid relationship?

The issue here is that you are centring this around your feelings. If you love someone then it's about them, not about how you feel (unless it is the case where they are being abusive or toxic or something, of course). Basically, it's kind of like that one quote from Tomoko from CCS, where she says "the greatest happiness for me is to let the person I most like have the most happiness". What matters most if you truly care for someone is the person and their well-being, not yours. I mean, did you really love them or did you just not like being alone?

I would prefer to be broken up with than have my partner die. My partner decided to take himself off the organ transplant wait list and refuses to put himself back on it, so now he is definitely going to die and it will probably be a painful and awful death. Hell, if I had to choose between this shit and him breaking up with me and staying on the list and potentially getting a match and getting to hopefully live a happy and longer life, I'm going to choose the breakup in a heartbeat. I don't give a shit if it would make me depressed!

 

[wondering&wandering]

The issue here is that you are centring this around your feelings. If you love someone then it's about them, not about how you feel (unless it is the case where they are being abusive or toxic or something, of course). Basically, it's kind of like that one quote from Tomoko from CCS, where she says "the greatest happiness for me is to let the person I most like have the most happiness". What matters most if you truly care for someone is the person and their well-being, not yours. I mean, did you really love them or did you just not like being alone?

Couldn't agree more.

I would prefer to be broken up with than have my partner die. My partner decided to take himself off the organ transplant wait list and refuses to put himself back on it, so now he is definitely going to die and it will probably be a painful and awful death. Hell, if I had to choose between this shit and him breaking up with me and staying on the list and potentially getting a match and getting to hopefully live a happy and longer life, I'm going to choose the breakup in a heartbeat. I don't give a shit if it would make me depressed!

You seem to have a lot of love for your partner. If it's too personal or not fitting for this thread no need to answer, but why would he take himself off the list?

After a breakup with my old girlfriend months ago, that sent me into a everlasting depression ive yet to overcome.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Breaking off a relationship or even a really good friendship can hurt a lot. But a healthy perspective considers why it happened, and whether it puts your partner/friend in a better position, or even puts yourself in a better spot (although that doesn't seem the case for you).

I wonder sometimes if a slow tormenting breakup is worse then hypothetically her passing away mid relationship?

I would take the breakup over my partner dying 100%. It seems almost evil to think the other way. Selfishly wanting them and not caring about their happiness but only your own. Thats toxic beyond all measure.

Which do you think is worse death in the heat of romance or a slow tormenting breakup where you get to see the person you cherished the most treat and disregard you as less then garbage...

So again, I choose a breakup. Yes, it hurts, but breakups tend to happen for the benefit of someone; hopefully for both partners. In my case, I needed it because it was ruining my mental health more than it was helping it due to a very personal reason, and he needed it because there's still a lot of growing up to do, but hopefully someday we'll meet again under more favorable conditions. In your case, it seems your partner has little to no respect for you. Is that the case?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

If it's too personal or not fitting for this thread no need to answer, but why would he take himself off the list?

I don't completely understand why. He says that he has too much on hands and that he doesn't think that would have gotten the liver, but I still don't get it. There isn't much I can do about it, which sucks. He also has a history of mental health issues and self-destructive behaviours, so that might be why. We haven't discussed it much after the day he told me about it, which was a few days ago.