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The issue here is that you are centring this around your feelings. If you love someone then it's about them, not about how you feel (unless it is the case where they are being abusive or toxic or something, of course). Basically, it's kind of like that one quote from Tomoko from CCS, where she says "the greatest happiness for me is to let the person I most like have the most happiness". What matters most if you truly care for someone is the person and their well-being, not yours. I mean, did you really love them or did you just not like being alone?
Couldn't agree more.
You seem to have a lot of love for your partner. If it's too personal or not fitting for this thread no need to answer, but why would he take himself off the list?
I'm sorry that happened to you. Breaking off a relationship or even a really good friendship can hurt a lot. But a healthy perspective considers why it happened, and whether it puts your partner/friend in a better position, or even puts yourself in a better spot (although that doesn't seem the case for you).
I would take the breakup over my partner dying 100%. It seems almost evil to think the other way. Selfishly wanting them and not caring about their happiness but only your own. Thats toxic beyond all measure.
So again, I choose a breakup. Yes, it hurts, but breakups tend to happen for the benefit of someone; hopefully for both partners. In my case, I needed it because it was ruining my mental health more than it was helping it due to a very personal reason, and he needed it because there's still a lot of growing up to do, but hopefully someday we'll meet again under more favorable conditions. In your case, it seems your partner has little to no respect for you. Is that the case?
I don't completely understand why. He says that he has too much on hands and that he doesn't think that would have gotten the liver, but I still don't get it. There isn't much I can do about it, which sucks. He also has a history of mental health issues and self-destructive behaviours, so that might be why. We haven't discussed it much after the day he told me about it, which was a few days ago.
I see. Hmm, well, hopefully you both can maybe talk about it so you at least can understand his choice a bit more? Of course I don't know the guy, but it sounds like the main reason would be his self-destructive behaviours as you brought up. Or at least, the way I would see it specifically is he has a self-defeated attitude of there being no reason to be on the list hoping for something that to him will never happen. False hopes can definitely hurt as long as they exist, and maybe him being off the list stops that "false hope" from hurting him? Idk. But judging from your posts you seem to really care for him, so hopefully he sees that and can at least tell you specifically why. It's ultimately his choice, but hopefully he realizes it's hurting you. Wishing you the best with your partner.
