Granted! You have a nice sandwich.
The sandwich, however, perhaps as a joke by god is also sentient. It can also speak English (or whatever your native language is) and acts like a Nice Guy, worshipping you, "putting you on a pedestal", the whole nine yards.
It runs away as soon as it wakes up, but every so often you catch him watching you through the windows or the little eye hole in your door.
After a while you notice your underwear is missing. At first you blame the washing machine, grumbling under your breath, but when it comes back covered in crumbs, you realize it's the sandwich doing unmentionable things to it.
You're half curious, as sandwiches do not have genitals, so what the hell DOES it do with it?
On the other hand, you're grossed out by the thought of a sentient creature doing... things... with your underwear.
Just... Ew...
You catch it right at the corner of your eye stalking you, existing menacingly.
I am so sorry I produced low grade Nice Sandwich smut...
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I wish I was hot enough to generate income from onlyfans.