Games Corrupt-A-Wish.

[Philosykos]

Granted, but they start investing so much time in you that they neglect their other patients and as a result, they grow resentful of you and the attention you get.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

 

[Georgii]

Granted, but its like a uncontrollable impulse .You never know when and in what youll change into.


I wish I could turn things to gold and get rich

 

[s3gfault]

Granted, but its like a uncontrollable impulse .You never know when and in what youll change into.


I wish I could turn things to gold and get rich

Granted, but you never feel satisfied or happy no matter how many things you own and the money changes you such that you push away all of your family and friends to the point where you become more lonely and miserable than ever before.

I wish heaven was a real place and that I went there after I died.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Granted. You went there and now you are bored looking at all the ppl having fun in hell.

I wish i could walk through walls.

 

[Soul]

I wish i could walk through walls.

Granted! You leave gaping holes and are covered in plaster dust every time you do it, but it's fun!

I wish homeless animals had comfortable safehouses they could take refuge in during bad weather.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I wish homeless animals had comfortable safehouses they could take refuge in during bad weather.

GRANTED! All homeless, sick, and abandoned animals in the world get clean and comfy safehouses, they are welcome any time, on any weather, they get plenty of food and water and have free vet care.
Only catch is that animal loving criminals, instead of prison, get to take care of those shelters for free, fully supervised.
Sorry. I didnt want to see how corrupted could that wish get for animals.

I wish i lived in snowy mountains without getting a migraines from cold.

 

[sadghost]

GRANTED! All homeless, sick, and abandoned animals in the world get clean and comfy safehouses, they are welcome any time, on any weather, they get plenty of food and water and have free vet care.
Only catch is that animal loving criminals, instead of prison, get to take care of those shelters for free, fully supervised.
Sorry. I didnt want to see how corrupted could that wish get for animals.

I wish i lived in snowy mountains without getting a migraines from cold.

Granted! You live in a beautiful cottage in the mountains and the cold doesn't give you migraines... it gives you diarrhea.

I wish I had a time machine so I could travel through time!

 

[agentgeez]

Granted; the time machine works by you sitting inside of it and waiting for the amount of time you wish to travel through. If you wanna see what it was like 100 years ago, prepare to wait 100 years. You don't age inside of it though!

I wish all my technology worked flawlessly, never giving me any technical issues.

 

[puppy9]

Granted; the time machine works by you sitting inside of it and waiting for the amount of time you wish to travel through. If you wanna see what it was like 100 years ago, prepare to wait 100 years. You don't age inside of it though!

I wish all my technology worked flawlessly, never giving me any technical issues.

Granted, but other parts of your life will have many bugs and technical issues.

I wish I can grant people wishes.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Granted, but other parts of your life will have many bugs and technical issues.

I wish I can grant people wishes.

Granted!
Now everyone will get their all of their wishes granted, except you

I wish I'm not disabled

 

[FriendofDeath]

Granted, but you become obsessed looking things up, playing games, communicating with strangers that you forget to eat or sleep and don't stop until your fingers grow stiff. You can even unplug a device, and it still works, enticing you to keep searching, using the other hand!

I wish I would write a best seller!

Granted!
Now everyone will get their all of their wishes granted, except you

I wish I'm not disabled

i forgot to send mine this morning, so overlapping. Apologies!

Granted, you are no longer disabled, and you speak out about the everyday struggles you have faced and soon find yourself running for public office! Hope you're cool with giving lots of speeches! DisabledandHopeless for mayor, governor, Congress, presidency - you choose! (Or if you'd rather, you can support someone's run for office.)

I wish I could sleep on command.

 

[agentgeez]

Granted, you write a best seller, but someone else steals it and gets all the profit and credit from it before you publish it. Also, you can sleep on command, but the command must come from somebody else.

I wish I could stay at a relaxing temperature at all times.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

You indeed stay at a relaxing temperature at all times. Google tells me it's 68-70f (20-21c) degrees, so let's go with that.
AHEM!
Yes, you stay at a relaxing temperature at all times. It's a bubble of sorts - anything coming in within 6 feet within your radius goes straight to 68f. Everything.
You go outside to the scorching heat and go to the closest shop to buy a cool coke to celebrate your newly acquired temperatural comfort. As you approach the fridge, so does your temperature radius. The first can you pick up is not quite cold, but not disgustingly warm either. You bring it to the cashier, pay, and leave.
As you leave you hear the fridge suddenly go into turbo mode, but don't pay it too much attention. You crack open the can, take a swig and almost spit it out in surprise. It's definitely coke, but it's not as cold as it should be! You've just taken it out of a fridge where it has been sitting for quite some hours! It shouldn't be this warm!
Still, it's... acceptable... certainly, not great, but passes the absolute minimal bar.
Next you head to wherever it is you work. The day passes surprisingly fast. The air conditioner's filters seem to be dirty as it's not as cold as you're normally used for the place to be. Your balls don't jump into your body in a desperate attempt to not be sterilized by the absurd cold that makes time pass oh so much slower.
Still, you see Steve wearing his trusty jacket he brings to work almost religiously.
More and more time passes until winter comes.
Your power becomes far more visible - as snowflakes fall from the sky, upon reaching you they immediately turn into tiny drops. Wherever you walk, instead of footsteps, there's a large line made of newly refrozen water.
Eventually the government comes.
They were relatively polite. Relatively. For the government. You were given a small, though acceptable room for your reportedly voluntary self sacrifice in the name of science.
No matter what the scientists did, they couldn't change the temperature within your 6 foot radius. It was funny when the scientists tried to raise your temperature with flamethrowers, but when two people died when that liquid helium tank bursted when the scientists tried to lower your temperature, that's when the SCP foundation came. Today nobody quite knows where you are.
Officially?
Officially you were arrested and sentenced for five life sentences without parole.

I wish my ass would stop itching! >.<

 

[Georgii]

(Damn that wish corruption is a whole new level)
Granted .Your ass is gone along with your defecating system \(°_°)/

I wish I would get the chance to enjoy my coffee while it's hot.

 

[agentgeez]

That wish corruption made me feel like the unwitting protagonist of a cautionary tale about the consequences of decisions, geez. Props for the detail. I don't think I'll top that so:
Granted; all the containers that you drink from are always kept at a hot temperature to ensure that if coffee is poured in, it's never cold. Although, no drink you have from now on will be cold, either.

I wish I had the ability to detect when somebody's lying.

 

[Epsilon0]

Granted, but each time you detect a lie, YOUR nose grows a bit.

I wish I was a really smart physicist working at CERN.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

(@Georgii @agentgeez If I was able to pull that kind of thing on command I'd be a happier man)

Granted.
You're not just a smart scientist in CERN, you're the absolute smartest scientist in CERN. You're so smart nobody understands you. You are soon declared crazy and get demoted to janitor.

I wish my ass and all its attachments (?) back. =[
Edit: (@Georgii my actual ass is fine, it's a response to your corruption. )

 

[Soul]

@Compodulator, granted! Your ass+ is back in place, very proud of itself for being chosen as GQ's Ass+ of the Year. Its presence (with you in tow) is required at miles of ultra hip events where you end up cheek-to-cheek with the best minds of your generation, who all like you and invite you and your ass+ to weekends in great places.

I wish I knew why Druids sometimes uprooted whole trees and "re-planted" them upside-down.

 

[Georgii]

Granted ,you may know their secret but you too will be ~planted~ upside down with your head into the ground ,a local attraction for tourist to come tickle your feet .


I wish I could sing on stage with my favorite band for one song at least .

 

[Philosykos]

Granted, but the song is 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua.

I wish people wouldn't stare at me so much.

 

[Soul]

I wish people wouldn't stare at me so much.

Granted! You've got an Invisibility Hat that you can use whenever you want. If you wear it with the brim up, you become nondescript; if you turn the brim down you become invisible. It looks great on you, but no one ever notices ...

I wish the natural world were thriving, no animals or plants going extinct, the rain forests and artic no longer shrinking, and temperatures doing whatever's good for biodiversity.

 

[lostangel]

Granted! but humans never advance further

 

[Philosykos]

@lostangel Would you like to make a wish or are you giving away a free round?

 

[lostangel]

oh dammit lol I forgot

I wish for us to get conformation that aliens have came to earth.

 

[Sinai Silence]

Granted! But once it is known the aliens abduct us all and do butt stuff with their probes.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

 

[Abgrundanziehung]

Granted, but you are now one of those terrifying deep sea creatures!

I wish I could be healthy and without pain

 

[lostangel]

Granted, But but it will cost you a lot of money

I wish I had good mental health

 

[Marchioness]

Granted! But now your dog is sick.

I wish student loan companies would be annihilated by Anon.

 

[lostangel]

granted! but they will still find a way to make you pay for it

I wish the gym was empty

 

[agentgeez]

Granted; there's no gym equipment in it now either.

I wish I had boundless energy to do any task I'd like.