Do you have kids?

[PrismHon]

No way would want children, too lazy, but also I inherited mental and physical issues and I think it would be bad to potentially pass those on. I do sympathise with the antinatalism position.

 

[deadbidaylight]

This is always a hard question for me to answer. I had a child who was murdered. When people ask if I have children I used to say no, but my child was here - she just isn't anymore

I am so horrifically sorry that you had to experience losing your child. I could not imagine the pain and grief that comes with that. I hope to everything I am that I never do. There would be no coming back for me.

I admire your strength for going through quite possibly the most soul shattering experience and still being here to speak on it. I pray that one day you find peace because I can't imagine there is any to find on earth after that. No parent should ever have to bury their child. My heart breaks for you

I love children but that made me LOL

I'm not taking the time to read through all the comments here because I just don't care enough to hear what antinatalists say about this subject LOL but I just want to say to you that I think you're a great mother for LIVING for your child. The world isn't full of suffering and only has people who wish they were dead. I hope your daughter lives a long, happy and fulfilling life, she's lucky to have a mother that knows what suffering is to help protect and guide her

That made me cry. Thank you so much for the kind words. I needed that badly.

 

[Silently Dying]

I am so horrifically sorry that you had to experience losing your child. I could not imagine the pain and grief that comes with that. I hope to everything I am that I never do. There would be no coming back for me.

I admire your strength for going through quite possibly the most soul shattering experience and still being here to speak on it. I pray that one day you find peace because I can't imagine there is any to find on earth after that. No parent should ever have to bury their child. My heart breaks for you

Thank you for your kind words. I died when she died. I just keep breathing. I won't be around for long because all the people I love are gone. I don't want to be here alone any more. I know it sounds as if I'm having a pity party, but its honestly how I feel. Again, thank you for being so kind.

 

[JesiBel]

I don't have children or pets, I can barely handle myself.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Thank you for your kind words. I died when she died. I just keep breathing. I won't be around for long because all the people I love are gone. I don't want to be here alone any more. I know it sounds as if I'm having a pity party, but its honestly how I feel. Again, thank you for being so kind.

Absolutely NOT a pity party. No way! As I said, I commend you for still being here, especially alone. You are stronger than me. I'm glad that you are, but just imagining being in your shoes makes me tremble. My heart really is with you. You deserve all the good things, but if in death is where you find your peace, I hope that it's the best peace there is.

I don't blame you for feeling that way. Not one bit.

 

[Silently Dying]

Absolutely NOT a pity party. No way! As I said, I commend you for still being here, especially alone. You are stronger than me. I'm glad that you are, but just imagining being in your shoes makes me tremble. My heart really is with you. You deserve all the good things, but if in death is where you find your peace, I hope that it's the best peace there is.

I don't blame you for feeling that way. Not one bit.

Thank you for understanding.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I'm truly sorry that your life has been shitty enough to project onto other people and assume that every single persons life is crap. It's truly a sad existence feeling the way you do.

I shower my child with love and affection, I provide all that she needs in her life and more. I do absolutely everything in my power to make sure she's got a positive upbringing, surrounded by people that love her and value her. If everyone thought the way you do, the human race would cease to exist, and I am thankful that your thought process is a minority. Although it's nonetheless asinine.

I refuse to let people like you make me feel guilty for having a child. It's honestly disgusting. I'm not sitting here calling you a piece of shit for choosing not to have children. Is it impossible for you to just keep your mouth shut and respect that I made a different decision than you? Or do you have an overwhelming need to put others down because you're so miserable? Why is it so hard for people to extend the same courtesy that is given to them? Have I sat here and trolled every post of people who choose not to have children? I'm pretty sure I commented on the fact that if you WANT to have children, it's a gift. That's MY PERSPECTIVE. I quite frankly don't give a fuck about yours but somehow need to be subjected to it anyway because you just can't help yourself.

It is literally free to be kind to others. You'd think being here would give you just a single ounce of humanity. I guess I was wrong.

Parents are doing a hell of a lot more harm than the childless so why would you feel the need to troll those without children? We're not hurting anyone. Well except the feelings of a few butthurt parents who can't accept they did something selfish and just own it. I know you don't feel guilty, no parent ever does. You can defend yourself all you like but it's your child we should be asking about this. Once again parents speaking for their offspring. Of course all parents say their kids have great lives and they're great parents! The worst of parents probably yell that the loudest, doesn't mean jack. I can't believe after all the suffering parents have caused you still have to spew "be kind" to shut anyone down. We're all here because of parents dumping us in this shithole and you won't even allow us an opinion on that. Is there anything parents wont try and control?

 

[deadbidaylight]

Parents are doing a hell of a lot more harm than the childless so why would you feel the need to troll those without children? We're not hurting anyone. Well except the feelings of a few butthurt parents who can't accept they did something selfish and just own it. I know you don't feel guilty, no parent ever does. You can defend yourself all you like but it's your child we should be asking about this. Once again parents speaking for their offspring. Of course all parents say their kids have great lives and they're great parents! The worst of parents probably yell that the loudest, doesn't mean jack. I can't believe after all the suffering parents have caused you still have to spew "be kind" to shut anyone down. We're all here because of parents dumping us in this shithole and you won't even allow us an opinion on that. Is there anything parents wont try and control?

You are truly delusional. I'm not trying to "control" anything. What I said is that being fucking rude because someone lives or believes differently than you is wrong. You can have differences of opinions without being a straight up asshole about it. Literally calling a parent out on here for your beliefs and then attempting to make them feel like shit because of how you view the world is just wrong on so many levels.

And I'd also like to point out that not EVERYONE on here is here because of their parents "dumping them in this shithole". Poor mental health isn't only caused by parents who should have never been parents. Blaming parents for all the problems in the world is a cop out.

Spewing "be kind" isn't to shut anyone down. Literally just fucking be kind? I see that's extremely difficult for you. Take a good look in the mirror and evaluate why you think the world is a shithole. It's because of self righteous asshats like you that MUST BE RIGHT because they can't accept anything else.

I'm done with you and this whole conversation. There is no reasoning. I'm wrong and you're right. There you go. Now you can finally sleep tonight knowing you came out on top.

Have the fucking day you deserve.

 

[grapevoid]

Parents are doing a hell of a lot more harm than the childless so why would you feel the need to troll those without children? We're not hurting anyone. Well except the feelings of a few butthurt parents who can't accept they did something selfish and just own it. I know you don't feel guilty, no parent ever does. You can defend yourself all you like but it's your child we should be asking about this. Once again parents speaking for their offspring. Of course all parents say their kids have great lives and they're great parents! The worst of parents probably yell that the loudest, doesn't mean jack. I can't believe after all the suffering parents have caused you still have to spew "be kind" to shut anyone down. We're all here because of parents dumping us in this shithole and you won't even allow us an opinion on that. Is there anything parents wont try and control?

As a parent I am here to say no, there isn't anything we won't try to control. We are on a path to world domination.

 

[Nobody'sHero]

As a parent I am here to say no, there isn't anything we won't try to control. We are on a path to world domination.

*Laughs in evil parent*

 

[grapevoid]

You are truly delusional. I'm not trying to "control" anything. What I said is that being fucking rude because someone lives or believes differently than you is wrong. You can have differences of opinions without being a straight up asshole about it. Literally calling a parent out on here for your beliefs and then attempting to make them feel like shit because of how you view the world is just wrong on so many levels.

And I'd also like to point out that not EVERYONE on here is here because of their parents "dumping them in this shithole". Poor mental health isn't only caused by parents who should have never been parents. Blaming parents for all the problems in the world is a cop out.

Spewing "be kind" isn't to shut anyone down. Literally just fucking be kind? I see that's extremely difficult for you. Take a good look in the mirror and evaluate why you think the world is a shithole. It's because of self righteous asshats like you that MUST BE RIGHT because they can't accept anything else.

I'm done with you and this whole conversation. There is no reasoning. I'm wrong and you're right. There you go. Now you can finally sleep tonight knowing you came out on top.

Have the fucking day you deserve.

I hope you choose to stop engaging with people who speak about you this way. Being a GOOD parent is a very hard and selfless job, you deserve to be respected and treated with kindness and grace for your efforts. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, this persons reality is not everyone's reality or yours and you are worth so much more than being marginalized to some hypocritical close minded view of the world.

 

[Nobody'sHero]

You are truly delusional. I'm not trying to "control" anything. What I said is that being fucking rude because someone lives or believes differently than you is wrong. You can have differences of opinions without being a straight up asshole about it. Literally calling a parent out on here for your beliefs and then attempting to make them feel like shit because of how you view the world is just wrong on so many levels.

And I'd also like to point out that not EVERYONE on here is here because of their parents "dumping them in this shithole". Poor mental health isn't only caused by parents who should have never been parents. Blaming parents for all the problems in the world is a cop out.

Spewing "be kind" isn't to shut anyone down. Literally just fucking be kind? I see that's extremely difficult for you. Take a good look in the mirror and evaluate why you think the world is a shithole. It's because of self righteous asshats like you that MUST BE RIGHT because they can't accept anything else.

I'm done with you and this whole conversation. There is no reasoning. I'm wrong and you're right. There you go. Now you can finally sleep tonight knowing you came out on top.

Have the fucking day you deserve.

I hope you choose to stop engaging with people who speak about you this way. Being a GOOD parent is a very hard and selfless job, you deserve to be respected and treated with kindness and grace for your efforts. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, this persons reality is not everyone's reality or yours and you are worth so much more than being marginalized to some hypocritical close minded view of the world.

I wish you were my parents... Want to adopt me?

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@deadbidaylight we are all here on this planet because of parents FACT. No getting around it. And people have kids knowing that poor mental health exists. You just leave it up to your kids to sort it out like it's tough shit. You don't need to justify anything to me, you're not my parent and I really don't care. You only have to justify it to your child when something horrible happens to her. Why should I be kind to the people who are responsible for the fact we'll all have to die in extreme pain and fear one day? Even if the rest of our lives are good at least admit that. It's predominantly parents trying to restrict SN as well, because they want to control their kids.

 

[Dante_]

Blaming parents for all the problems in the world is a cop out.

It definitely isn't a cop out, not even remotely as we're all susceptible to circumstances we cannot control, that our parents could control and I don't blame them for that. In any case, I'd like to keep this thread going since it's clearly an important topic for a lot of users here so please be respectful when sharing differing opinions.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

As a parent I am here to say no, there isn't anything we won't try to control. We are on a path to world domination.

You're already there. Parents are already respected and worshipped above all others. Good for you I guess.

 

[grapevoid]

You're already there. Parents are already respected and worshipped above all others. Good for you I guess.

Are they? Man, I had an awful parent. (And one good one luckily) I'm pretty sure my mother had children just to have someone to pick on because she couldn't cope with life and go to the gas station and get her chocolate when she was coming down

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@grapevoid sounds rough. You can be sure society as a whole worshipped her for breeding. Afterall we have parents to thank for the human race continuing, and that can ONLY be a good thing of course

 

[grapevoid]

@grapevoid sounds rough. You can be sure society as a whole worshipped her for breeding. Afterall we have parents to thank for the human race continuing, and that can ONLY be a good thing of course

Nah, my mom is definitely a great example of a person who had no business having children. Even the state thought so, they regularly tried to prevent her from being allowed to parent LOL when she got pregnant with my younger brother I legit was like can't they force her to be sterilized or something? Why is this allowed!? Hahaha

 

[Nobody'sHero]

@deadbidaylight we are all here on this planet because of parents FACT. No getting around it. And people have kids knowing that poor mental health exists. You just leave it up to your kids to sort it out like it's tough shit. You don't need to justify anything to me, you're not my parent and I really don't care. You only have to justify it to your child when something horrible happens to her. Why should I be kind to the people who are responsible for the fact we'll all have to die in extreme pain and fear one day? Even if the rest of our lives are good at least admit that. It's predominantly parents trying to restrict SN as well, because they want to control their kids.

I don't really want to argue but I feel like you are oversimplifying/ over generalizing everything. Sure we're all here because of parents, but that is just such a stupid argument. It's like saying water is wet. There are parents, there is the environment, there are bad decisions, there is genetics, injuries, etc. Everyone has their story and it seems you can't see beyond yours. I get it, parents, I feel like if I had parents that prepared me better for the world I would be better of, I share that with you. That being said, the interactions I have had and have seen from @deadbidaylight have been very respectful, understanding and supportive. She is like this to total strangers, I can only imagine what she is like to her 6 year old daughter. While no one is a perfect parent, I have no doubt in my mind she is a good parent and that her daughter is taken care of. Like someone else said, she seems to have gone through a lot and knows what pain is and I'm 100% sure she is wise enough/ strong enough/ SELFLESS enough to guide her daughter and give her the tools necessary to avoid some of the pitfalls in life.

Again, @deadbidaylight , please adopt me <3

Nah, my mom is definitely a great example of a person who had no business having children. Even the state thought so, they regularly tried to prevent her from being allowed to parent LOL when she got pregnant with my younger brother I legit was like can't they force her to be sterilized or something? Why is this allowed!? Hahaha

My parents are not bad people and do want the best for me, but they have no idea how to guide me through my troubles and that has made everything worse in the past. I try not to involve them but maintain a cordial relationship. If I had different parents that were more sensitive to my troubles I think I would be very different, but it is what it is. I also recognize that it could be WAYYY worse. I Was never violated, hit, just abandoned haha...

 

[Namelesa]

I want to say my opinion on the morality of procreation. There is definitely a selfish element to procreating someone as you are forcing that person into this world. I would say forcing anyone into anything is selfish especially as before they existed they didn't desire to so they are not disadvantaged by being not created and that life has purely subjective value. Life is uncertain in how good or bad it will be and I would say the parent should take partial responsibility for whatever happens to the child as they caused their life to happen in the first place.

However being a good caring parent is selfless as you are taking care of someone which neutralizes the action if the child ends up having a good life.

Personally procreation is at most a neutral decision (EDIT: when the child has a good life). It becomes immoral if one of these conditions is met:

• Parent is neglectful and/or abusive
• Parent doesn't allow their child to ctb if they want to
• Parent passes on genetic disadvantages (physical and/or mental) that they clearly knew they had

(People who had children without their consent through SA are an exception to this)

To me a better cause of action is to adopt instead of procreate as we should be lessening the suffering already in the world. Adoption and being a good parent in this instance is purely selfless.

 

[grapevoid]

My parents are not bad people and do want the best for me, but they have no idea how to guide me through my troubles and that has made everything worse in the past. I try not to involve them but maintain a cordial relationship. If I had different parents that were more sensitive to my troubles I think I would be very different, but it is what it is. I also recognize that it could be WAYYY worse. I Was never violated, hit, just abandoned haha...

I'm sorry life has been that way for you. It's unfortunate that the very people who are supposed to teach you what unconditional love and support looks like abandoned you when you needed them, children need parents who show up for them above all else so, could it be "worse" ? I guess so, but that doesn't invalidate or minimize the fact that your support system failed you.

 

[Hotsackage]

I don't kno how to answer, I have a niece and whole family is clueless why she's dropped out at 16, I kno y tho, cause it happened to me.

 

[grapevoid]

I want to say my opinion on the morality of procreation. There is definitely a selfish element to procreating someone as you are forcing that person into this world. I would say forcing anyone into anything is selfish especially as before they existed they didn't desire to so they are not disadvantaged by being not created and that life has purely subjective value. Life is uncertain in how good or bad it will be and I would say the parent should take partial responsibility for whatever happens to the child as they caused their life to happen in the first place.

However being a good caring parent is selfless as you are taking care of someone which neutralizes the action if the child ends up having a good life.

Personally procreation is at most a neutral decision. It becomes immoral if one of these conditions is met:

• Parent is neglectful and/or abusive
• Parent doesn't allow their child to ctb if they want to
• Parent passes on genetic disadvantages (physical and/or mental) that they clearly knew they had

(People who had children without their consent through SA are an exception to this)

To me a better cause of action is to adopt instead of procreate as we should be lessening the suffering already in the world. Adoption and being a good parent in this instance is purely selfless.

I can agree that procreating is a neutral action in and of itself. And I absolutely agree that parents hold and should be willing to accept responsibility, hold themselves accountable to some extent for the life their child experiences, as a parent (in my country anyway) you have a lot of control of your childs environment and it's absolutely your responsibility to provide a safe, supportive, and loving environment for the child you create.

I also agree that adoption is a wonderful choice and if you have genetic disadvantages that would seriously negatively impact your child should be considered in place of procreating, and even if you don't, should still be considered if you want to raise children.

My uncle had 2 biological children who both turned out to have serious mental health issues that led to drug addiction. When he remarried to his current wife, they adopted 3 siblings who were the product of a drug addicted mother. The kids are truly amazing and one just graduated college. I really admire that he was able to see that genetically, something went wrong and took a safe approach to raising more children with his new wife.

 

[Rymrgand]

What I said is that being fucking rude because someone lives or believes differently than you is wrong. You can have differences of opinions without being a straight up asshole about it.

This is pretty silly. Some beliefs, some opinions, do not deserve to be respected. I'm not going to say if this is your case, but if your set of values is hurting someone else (and you are being accused of this) then it's reasonable to be hostile to you.

We live in a world full of poverty, dictatorships, several wars and a few genocides. The "we should respect our neighbors, even when they are horrible people" mentality is just making it worse.

 

[divinemistress36]

I can agree that procreating is a neutral action in and of itself. And I absolutely agree that parents hold and should be willing to accept responsibility, hold themselves accountable to some extent for the life their child experiences, as a parent (in my country anyway) you have a lot of control of your childs environment and it's absolutely your responsibility to provide a safe, supportive, and loving environment for the child you create.

I also agree that adoption is a wonderful choice and if you have genetic disadvantages that would seriously negatively impact your child should be considered in place of procreating, and even if you don't, should still be considered if you want to raise children.

My uncle had 2 biological children who both turned out to have serious mental health issues that led to drug addiction. When he remarried to his current wife, they adopted 3 siblings who were the product of a drug addicted mother. The kids are truly amazing and one just graduated college. I really admire that he was able to see that genetically, something went wrong and took a safe approach to raising more children with his new wife.

I love your emotional intelligence I wish more parents could be this aware

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I shower my child with love and affection, I provide all that she needs in her life and more. I do absolutely everything in my power to make sure she's got a positive upbringing, surrounded by people that love her and value her. If everyone thought the way you do, the human race would cease to exist, and I am thankful that your thought process is a minority. Although it's nonetheless asinine.

Okay, and so? First off, showering your child with love and affection is the bare minimum when it comes to parenting and in no way addresses anything when it comes to the selfishness of forcing one into existence. My parents showered me with love and affection when I was younger and did work hard to raise me but that doesn't change the fact that they are selfish for having me to begin with, and I'm saying this as someone who genuinely loves and appreciates them. Raising your kid and showing them affection isn't some grand accomplishment but is just you meeting basic parental expectations.

Secondly, who cares about the human race going extinct? The human race will inevitably come to an end at some point, so I don't get the point of bringing that up.

It's funny because I have seen cases of parents who have come to admit that their decision to bring children into this world was incredibly selfish of them. I feel like your not wanting to confront the selfishness of your decisions is leading you to become incredibly defensive whenever people question or voice any sort of negative opinions toward procreation. The thing is, I have yet to see any good arguments in favour of it or in favour of the view of it being neutral as a whole.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I don't really want to argue but I feel like you are oversimplifying/ over generalizing everything. Sure we're all here because of parents, but that is just such a stupid argument. It's like saying water is wet. There are parents, there is the environment, there are bad decisions, there is genetics, injuries, etc. Everyone has their story and it seems you can't see beyond yours. I get it, parents, I feel like if I had parents that prepared me better for the world I would be better of, I share that with you. That being said, the interactions I have had and have seen from @deadbidaylight have been very respectful, understanding and supportive. She is like this to total strangers, I can only imagine what she is like to her 6 year old daughter. While no one is a perfect parent, I have no doubt in my mind she is a good parent and that her daughter is taken care of. Like someone else said, she seems to have gone through a lot and knows what pain is and I'm 100% sure she is wise enough/ strong enough/ SELFLESS enough to guide her daughter and give her the tools necessary to avoid some of the pitfalls in life.

Why is it a stupid argument? Maybe if we could all easily opt-out of life you'd have a point but we can't, parents know they've trapped us here and we have no way to leave. That's the only reason they don't get more criticism, life is about having to suck it up and just be happy and grateful because there is little alternative. So most people make that choice, and then go on to have kids themselves because old age is so fucking awful. Without parents in the first place there are no bad decisions or injuries, that's the whole point! My kids are never going to have to worry about any of that shit because I don't have any.

Even on here full of suicidally depressed people you've still got posters acting like parents are so amazing, just proves my point that they get utterly worshipped just for popping out kids. Anyone saying differently is gaslit until they are forced to parrot that life is a gift, parents are selfless blah blah...

 

[grapevoid]

Just a thought but I think it's obvious this mother you guys are talking to is trying her very best, loves her child deeply and is also facing her own hardships, trying to overcome her mental health issues to show up for and give her child the life she deserves. She is taking responsibility for the child she created and working hard at it. What do you get out of trying to tear her down? She's always very kind and supportive to others on this site and based on her last message I'd say she's having a rough time because I don't usually see her speak to people that way. Maybe the world wouldn't be so awful if people could see other people struggling and approach them with empathy and compassion.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

This is pretty silly. Some beliefs, some opinions, do not deserve to be respected. I'm not going to say if this is your case, but if your set of values is hurting someone else (and you are being accused of this) then it's reasonable to be hostile to you.

We live in a world full of poverty, dictatorships, several wars and a few genocides. The "we should respect our neighbors, even when they are horrible people" mentality is just making it worse.

Exactly and that's what parents don't get. If someone does something hugely immoral in my eyes ofc I'm going to have an opinion on it and not just "be kind", especially when two people from that demographic brought huge harm to me.

 

[Nobody'sHero]

Exactly and that's what parents don't get. If someone does something hugely immoral in my eyes ofc I'm going to have an opinion on it and not just "be kind", especially when two people from that demographic brought huge harm to me.

Your parents brought huge harm to you, not EVERY parent. There are some thoughtful, compassionate, patient, understanding parents out there... Again, you can't seem to look outside of your pain.

This coming from someone who admits that I would probably have better mental health with other parents...