Female role in sex makes me suicidal as a woman

[Dejected 55]

You are right. But the problem with porn that it makes a lot of people sexual tendencies extreme and they'll turned on by things they would have never touched if it wasn't for porn. They might not even like it but porn starts to condition them to get aroused.

So again you are totally right that people should be able to communicate what they desire and if they don't align then thats it. But you can check pornfree or nofap subreddits to see countless men suffering and trying their best because porn is literally destroying their life.

I don't want to be mistaken for "defending" porn... but the flip side to being exposed to things by porn that you never would have known about to try otherwise... is... there are still parts of the world where female sexuality is repressed (even in the west, several factions of Christianity are repressive towards the desires of women)... and so it can be argued that there are at least some women who see things in porn that they didn't know it was okay to want to do or enjoy have had their lives enriched by knowing there were women doing those things. Mind you, it's all about you wanting to do it and not being forced or shamed... but knowledge is power.

In a better world, people could feel comfortable talking about sex more openly, at least with their partners, without fear of judgment or shame... and then I'd wager there would be less "need" for porn to fill that gap.

As for people with porn addiction... yeah, that is sadly a reality for some people. But when you are addicted to something it usually means you were seeking something that you weren't getting elsewhere and so you were willing to do something that actually didn't give you what you truly needed. Drugs, alcohol, sexual addiction, porn... whatever the thing a person is addicted to... is typically a substitute for something else missing in their lives. Porn addiction isn't even for someone who is lacking sex. A lot of men addicted to porn actually have partners in real life but somehow they feel unable to connect with them.. and they might be having actual sex with an actual partner but because whatever else they are missing is still missing they seek it in porn, become addicted when they still don't get it... and it grows from there.

I just feel like it's an easy out for someone to blame porn for their behavior. Porn, video games, books, etc. historically get blamed when people are looking for something to blame and don't want to take personal responsibility.

For myself I'll just say that I know. I view more porn than I should. I'm not doing it to substitute for reality. I just suck at reality. Anytime I've ever been interested in someone or trying to connect with someone, my porn use drops to zero because I'm trying to make real connections. When the connections fail, all that is left for me is porn and so I take what I can get because at least with porn nobody but me is getting hurt.

I don't hate on the porn, but some of it is quite distasteful to me so I avoid that like the plague. I'm that rare guy probably who doesn't skip through the story parts just to get to the sex. The acting is horrendous and laughable but I appreciate the attempts at a narrative and that is the only way I can get into porn.

 

[CatLvr]

I agree, men online talk to me in a more degrading way now days then they ever did ( I'm 37, so not like I'm at my peak sexual attractiveness anymore) then when I was in my 20s. My friend said it's cause milf/cougar porn is a big thing right now. It's desensitizing people to real intimacy

You are not wrong -- I raised boys and at dinner tonight my son's girlfriend (they are both around your age) said that if they ever broke up she was done with men. I laughed and said "That's because he's the only really good man left in the world." And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I know you think you are joking but you are NOT wrong. Men are NOT like they were when you and his dad got together. They don't even try anymore." Which, honestly broke my heart. Because these 2 kids are 2 of the kindest, sweetest, most easy going people you would ever want to meet. And for them BOTH to say the same thing I am hearing from so many here tells me the world, while it was rough when I was coming up there was still the hope -- and even the expectation -- that you would find a good person to spend your life with. It didn't turn out that way for me, but it did for a lot of my peers. It seems now, like anybody in their 40s and younger doesn't even expect to be able to find a decent partner and that breaks my heart for you guys.

 

[fallingbehind]

The very act of it is degrading. Idc if people think I am crazy for seeing it either. It is a humiliation ritual and I am not ashamed of saying I will never and have never engaged in such.

 

[stink144]

The very act of it is degrading. Idc if people think I am crazy for seeing it either. It is a humiliation ritual and I am not ashamed of saying I will never and have never engaged in such.

It literally is violent and people responding to me ignore this part when they say it's okay as long as it's CoNsEnSuAL and wanted

 

[bankai]

Blame pron for desensitizing people to stuff~ Just find someone who cares about you enough to not just do things you don't want them to do to you~

Wait a sec.what happened to your pink font and the emojis?I couldn't believe I was looking at an EternalShore post.My eyes literally darted back and forth from your username to your post in disbelief

candies she'd got in a UK shop called Ann Summers. They sell erotic underwear etc. She offered me one and I was like- 'I'm not putting that in my mouth!'

Wait was it the candies or undies?

Sorry I had to.

 

[stink144]

The very act of it is degrading. Idc if people think I am crazy for seeing it either. It is a humiliation ritual and I am not ashamed of saying I will never and have never engaged in such.

It literally is violent and people responding to me ignore this part when they say it's okay as long as it's CoNsEnSuAL and wanted


And this is response I just received on reddit after i complained about this violent act

"My wife and I have been together for 36 years. We have a very nice sexual and intimate relationship and enjoy the pleasures that we provide for one another. My wife sucked me off on our first date and she's been sucking the cum from my cock all these years. Oral sex is a very large part of our sex life. My wife often and routinely invites me to fuck her mouth. I love and want to hear her moan and groan when my cock swells and explodes in her mouth and I love the look in her eyes that tells me how much she loves pleasuring me in this manner. She has never once gagged, choked, coughed, or pushed me away whenever my cock was in her mouth. She is somewhat submissive as my wife and that's just the way she is as far as pleasing and pleasuring me. She often "takes care" of me for my pleasure alone whenever she wants. There is nothing degrading or disrespectful about anything I do with her. She is my Angel and gives herself to me. She provides me with pleasure and I do the same for her in whatever way I can as her husband. My cock and my cum is hers to enjoy. I love fucking her mouth and if she requests that she wants me to fuck her mouth, I will most assuredly honor her request."
This forum is full of normies.
This forum is full of normies.

 

[bankai]

It literally is violent and people responding to me ignore this part when they say it's okay as long as it's CoNsEnSuAL and wanted


And this is response I just received on reddit after i complained about this violent act

"

That response is honestly meant to be a masterful troll post. Either that or the guy is just getting off on posting something like that.

I didn't know Reddit was so sleazy. I do go there to visit fermentation threads as I ferment food myself. But doesn't look like there's much moderation.

 

[stink144]

can't you find something else to whine about? ohh sorry but what the fuck. if you dont want to have sex that way then don't. this makes me suicidal that makes me suicidal. the fact that sky is blue makes me suicidal. this is not even a actual problem and you made a whole thread about it just fuckin lol.

Triggered sexual

That response is honestly meant to be a masterful troll post. Either that or the guy is just getting off of posting something like that.

I didn't know Reddit was so sleazy. I do go there to visit fermentation threads as I ferment food myself. But doesn't look like there's much moderation.

Unfortunately face fucking is real and he is not a troll.

That response is honestly meant to be a masterful troll post. Either that or the guy is just getting off of posting something like that.

I didn't know Reddit was so sleazy. I do go there to visit fermentation threads as I ferment food myself. But doesn't look like there's much moderation.

Unfortunately face fucking is real and he is not a troll.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

I've always wondered what sex as a expression of love would be like?

You must be with very bad people. I don't even know what "face f'g" is, nor do I want to know.

Note that I am not here for any psychological reason; I am here because of pain, relentless physical pain.

 

[k1m]

None of the people I know in real life, guys or girls, could possibly relate to "face fucking". Real, humanizing love does exist.

 

[stink144]

But seriously how can I be normal if I experience literal symptoms of terror about sex against my will. Wide eyes, shaking, ear ringing, trouble breathing, dissociation.... I felt like this since 12 yo when I learned women get fucked on all fours and I'm 25 now

 

[k1m]

You don't need to be normal. You're a human being with thoughts and feelings of your own. Love is just about finding another human being to share that all with. You can have a relationship without sex. You can have whatever you like. When you find the right person, there is no pressure. You will never have to do anything uncomfortable. Don't worry.

 

[hedezev4]

Honestly, I find it hard to understand what the problem is here. People do what they like of their own free will, without involving others who do not wish to participate in their actions. Don't like sweets? When your partner offers you chocolate, don't eat it. Don't like "face fuck"? When your partner offers "face fuck," don't do it.


As it seems to me, although I don't know how it works in practice, in proper and good relationships a partner's desires should be taken into account, and if they don't want to do something, it can be left undone. If someone forces someone else to do something against their will, that is bad and wrong.

But seriously how can I be normal if I experience literal symptoms of terror about sex against my will.

I think that nobody wants to do (insert any action here) against their will.

 

[Alpenglow]

I've always thought that people do what they want in the bedroom if all parties are okay with it. Admittedly more degenerate acts do not impede a couple from partaking in intimate love making. One satisfies lust and the other satisfies a need for deep emotional connection.

Though you are probably correct in saying this act involves a certain amount of humiliation, and for some that may be the point, whether they are giving or receiving. And you are probably right in saying that online spaces, especially in spaces adjacent to romantic/sexual topics have a section that is more or less large of people who really should be reminded that the person behind the screen is indeed still a person. Though I'm pretty sure some people just use the screen as an excuse to do whatever they want.

 

[bankai]

I usually just ignore posts I don't agree with. But I don't get it . I'm trying to understand though OP.

How does this sexual act or any sexual act affect how you feel as a woman?I mean you don't have to do it if you don't want to.
I don't understand why you would feel humiliated. Other people do a lot of things and have a ton of opinions. How does that relate to you?

I'm a guy. I don't feel bad as a guy because some other men do certain things that I don't like or agree with.

 

[fedup1982]

I even asked normies if acts like face fucking are common in normal relationships and they answered yes
I can't take it I can't stand being a woman it's so humiliating.

Wtf. That's not normal. Maybe it's because I'm borderline millennial/genX but nobody my age has normalised that. You don't have to accept it. There are good decent people out there

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I sympathize, I remember as a kid wishing I could be perceived as gender-neutral instead of female so I would stop getting hurt by boys.

And if one person is willing to say how much they degrade women, then there's at least hundreds of people who think it and just don't say it. How many people undress me in their head when I'm just running errands? Being female really is a humiliating existence.

 

[kopebaldy]

If you don't like it then don't do it, I don't understand why you are so upset about an act both parties have to agree upon before committing.

If either don't, it would be rape. Then it's another conversation completely.

This forum is full of normies.

This forum is certainly not full of normies.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

If you don't like it then don't do it, I don't understand why you are so upset about an act both parties have to agree upon before committing.

If either don't, it would be rape. Then it's another conversation completely.


This forum is certainly not full of normies.

"If either don't, it would be rape"

Or prostitution.

"This forum is certainly not full of normies."

Well, look where we are.

I sympathize, I remember as a kid wishing I could be perceived as gender-neutral instead of female so I would stop getting hurt by boys.

And if one person is willing to say how much they degrade women, then there's at least hundreds of people who think it and just don't say it. How many people undress me in their head when I'm just running errands? Being female really is a humiliating existence.

I glorify women. Without women, without mothers, the race dies. All life on earth dies!

 

[Unicron]

Tell him there are things you don't want to, a good man will understand. If he doesn't understand then move on and find someone more worthy of you.

 

[quietwoods]

I usually just ignore posts I don't agree with. But I don't get it . I'm trying to understand though OP.

How does this sexual act or any sexual act affect how you feel as a woman?I mean you don't have to do it if you don't want to.
I don't understand why you would feel humiliated. Other people do a lot of things and have a ton of opinions. How does that relate to you?

I'm a guy. I don't feel bad as a guy because some other men do certain things that I don't like or agree with.

I don't think OP is looking for constructive discussion. Not saying this to criticize them or you, just appears this is a place to vent feelings.

 

[fallingbehind]

People do what they like of their own free will, without involving others who do not wish to participate in their actions. Don't like sweets? When your partner offers you chocolate, don't eat it. Don't like "face fuck"? When your partner offers "face fuck," don't do it.

Shes not talking about "face fucking" alone, shes just using an example. Shes talking about the vulnerability of women during heterosexual sex acts on the whole and the inequality present.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It literally is violent and people responding to me ignore this part when they say it's okay as long as it's CoNsEnSuAL and wanted


And this is response I just received on reddit after i complained about this violent act

"My wife and I have been together for 36 years. We have a very nice sexual and intimate relationship and enjoy the pleasures that we provide for one another. My wife sucked me off on our first date and she's been sucking the cum from my cock all these years. Oral sex is a very large part of our sex life. My wife often and routinely invites me to fuck her mouth. I love and want to hear her moan and groan when my cock swells and explodes in her mouth and I love the look in her eyes that tells me how much she loves pleasuring me in this manner. She has never once gagged, choked, coughed, or pushed me away whenever my cock was in her mouth. She is somewhat submissive as my wife and that's just the way she is as far as pleasing and pleasuring me. She often "takes care" of me for my pleasure alone whenever she wants. There is nothing degrading or disrespectful about anything I do with her. She is my Angel and gives herself to me. She provides me with pleasure and I do the same for her in whatever way I can as her husband. My cock and my cum is hers to enjoy. I love fucking her mouth and if she requests that she wants me to fuck her mouth, I will most assuredly honor her request."
This forum is full of normies.
This forum is full of normies.

Let's see:

1. I know this may shock you, but many people don't view it as violent and even see it as pleasurable. Who are you to say that it's wrong? The reason why people are mentioning consent is that, so long as someone feels as though this doesn't violate their boundaries, then there is not much to complain about. There are a lot of people who like it rough when it comes to sex. They find it to be arousing. Just because face fucking is not appealing to you doesn't mean that you get to project that onto others.

2. What's wrong about the Reddit post? It seems like they both enjoy it, at least based on what he says. We can also assume that he also goes out of his way to ensure that his wife is being pleasured, considering the line, "she provides me with pleasure and I do the same for her in whatever way I can as her husband". It actually sounds like he really loves his wife, so what is wrong here?

I've never had sex before, since my bf and I don't live in the same country, but I do stuff with him when we video call. I often find that it's sounds of him enjoying what I'm doing that tend to arouse me the most. I don't mind being submissive and doing most of what he says in those situations because I enjoy it. I find it pleasurable. I'm sure this is likely what the wife is experiencing as well, hence her love of face fucking.

3. Just because people disagree with you doesn't make them "normies", because normies don't exist. It's just a childish term used by people who need a good dose of copium. Calling people childish names because they don't agree with your views is just immature. It is fine if you don't like face fucking and find the idea of it humiliating. At the same time, you have to understand that this is not the case for many people, including many women.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

Just don't do it. Loads of people don't.

 

[EternalShore]

Wait a sec.what happened to your pink font and the emojis?I couldn't believe I was looking at an EternalShore post.My eyes literally darted back and forth from your username to your post in disbelief

She's on her phone, so it's harder to type~ >_< I have my BB codes saved on another website, so I can't access them very easily like this either~ :(

 

[stink144]

Ty

Let's see:

1. I know this may shock you, but many people don't view it as violent and even see it as pleasurable. Who are you to say that it's wrong? The reason why people are mentioning consent is that, so long as someone feels as though this doesn't violate their boundaries, then there is not much to complain about. There are a lot of people who like it rough when it comes to sex. They find it to be arousing. Just because face fucking is not appealing to you doesn't mean that you get to project that onto others.

2. What's wrong about the Reddit post? It seems like they both enjoy it, at least based on what he says. We can also assume that he also goes out of his way to ensure that his wife is being pleasured, considering the line, "she provides me with pleasure and I do the same for her in whatever way I can as her husband". It actually sounds like he really loves his wife, so what is wrong here?

I've never had sex before, since my bf and I don't live in the same country, but I do stuff with him when we video call. I often find that it's sounds of him enjoying what I'm doing that tend to arouse me the most. I don't mind being submissive and doing most of what he says in those situations because I enjoy it. I find it pleasurable. I'm sure this is likely what the wife is experiencing as well, hence her love of face fucking.

3. Just because people disagree with you doesn't make them "normies", because normies don't exist. It's just a childish term used by people who need a good dose of copium. Calling people childish names because they don't agree with your views is just immature. It is fine if you don't like face fucking and find the idea of it humiliating. At the same time, you have to understand that this is not the case for many people, including many women.

Tyrant how is FUCKING someone's mouth not violent

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Ty

Tyrant

Do you even know what a tyrant is?

 

[stink144]

Do you even know what a tyrant is?

Shut up tyrant I specifically said this act triggers me and people are defending it in my mentions

 

[hot]

You know that you can can choose your partner, no one is forcing you to have rough sex. If you don't like rough sex, then just don't do it, lol. Or just don't have sex in general. Its all in your control. I don't understand how this is making you feel suicidal.

 

[Dejected 55]

With all due sensitivity here... I think the general consensus is that you are entitled to feel what you feel and want (or not want) the things you want. If something triggers you or seems completely intolerable or horrible to you, then don't do it. Tell your partner clearly no. If your partner forces you anyway against your will or tries to shame you or guilt you. Leave that partner, follow through with law enforcement to report an assault/rape if he forces you to do anything or even tries to force you to do anything you don't want to do.

But there's no good to your own psyche to be gained by worrying yourself over what other people are doing in their sex lives that you don't approve of. This is how gay people get oppressed by straight people all the time, where straight people find gay acts to be "disgusting" or whatever and think they have the right to shame them for liking what they like... What other consenting (and there's that word again, consent, because it is HUGELY important) adults do is and should be up to them.

You don't have to like anything that anyone else likes or does. You can support someone who was forced or coerced against their will. You should be supported if the same happens to you. But maybe try and not think so much about what everyone else is doing in their own relationships... because that way lies madness, I assure you.