Aim higher, start one!
No but I do get that feeling of wanting to just be led on, to be desperate for community and acceptance. Whatever fills that void and lack of meaning. Cults can do that, superficially, but you'd still end up having to mask and put as much effort in just convincing yourself that that void is really being filled. If you've been in one you probably know there is a strong element of that. You know its not real, for a lot of people its just a cheap bandaid for overwhelming desperation, which is very real. So I get it and I feel you, but I'd really recommend you try other groups of people. You can join a church or a club. You can find a sort of family out there that would love and accept you without having to sacrifice your individuality. It's harder than simply joining a predatory group, but in the end it is worth it and quite better. Lots of hugs at ya <333