How do you cope with frequent suicide ideation?

[blueback]

I've been at a weird stage in life for a while now where my brain now believes that the logical solution to any issues I encounter, is suicide. No matter how trivial the issue may start out to be, negativity pools into my mind until my brain overflows and I'm left with believing that the obvious choice is for me to just kill myself. I know that talking about how you want to kill yourself is a very common and a jokey thing to say when you come across a problem, but for me it's more of a "I need to order N so I can die" rather than a "lmaooo what if I jumped off a bridge".

People always say that the best way to 'ignore' these emotions is to constantly distract yourself. But surely that can't be right...? There must be more to life than perpetually distracting yourself until drop dead; which is really what you wanted in the first place.

I don't know. I guess I feel like unless I manage to deal with suicidal thoughts I'll eventually fall into a trap where I end up making an impulse decision to end my life. So if anyone had any tips for me, I'd appreciate that a lot! Cheers x

 

[Bruces]

I feel exactly like this too,every problem in my life seems to be fixed by suicide!

 

[itsamadworld]

I'm the same. My go-to solution is suicide. Its been this way for years.

 

[du2497]

I've been at a weird stage in life for a while now where my brain now believes that the logical solution to any issues I encounter, is suicide. No matter how trivial the issue may start out to be, negativity pools into my mind until my brain overflows and I'm left with believing that the obvious choice is for me to just kill myself.

Get out of my head. :( It sucks because in my case, it resets any progress and then it takes a week to do something that should take an hour.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Ahhh same.

 

[itsallover]

I self medicate all day long, day after day. I got surgery coming up to heal my condition, but I just can't stop myself now after so many different drugs were thrown at me over the last four years of struggling and constantly seeing doctor and doing different procedures and treatments. I guess Im gonna have to go into detox after I recover from the surgery. It's going to be a bitch though cause I take a fistful of pills every few hours. Most of it is anti-anxiety medication. I have kicked oxycodone, but benzos are a whole different animal as it seems that they completely change your brain chemistry and how you think. I've never had to buy medication in the street as I stay within what Im prescribed, but am tired of feeling numbed out all the time. Its simply the only way I can make it through the day.

 

[Raminiki]

Ideation is a coping method for me too. Whenever something else upsets me, I can calm by telling myself it doesn't matter because I'll be able to leave it all behind soon. I can ignore the looming beasts of problems I have to face in the long term by assuming I won't be here to face them. In all likelihood I will because I've been suicidal for two decades.

It's also how I cope with everything I perceive as wrong in the world that I can't control. Current issues, climate change, mass extinction, pollution and deforestation, water and hunger crises... Thinking I have a way to quietly leave if things continue to spiral toward cataclysm gives me the courage to continue in spite of the world's problems.

I have no power in this world. Suicide is power over myself. I never chose to live so it is my right to choose when and how I die. This gives me strength.

I do have to beware however, as I can get into a self-sabotaging mindset and make things worse for myself because I don't care about consequences if I can escape them. I have to police myself in these times.

 

[Doormat]

I'm really glad I saw this thread! This is me! I don't find distraction techniques helpful and that trying to ignore it just makes it more insistent. I have found that allowing it to "play" through in my mind quietens it down for a bit. As for suicide being the solution in the face of adversity, the only method I have found to help is to hide away to avoid as many triggers as possible. I'm sorry for anyone who has been affected by lockdown but it has been helpful for me! In short, I honestly don't know how to offer anything useful - I'm just comforted to see my thoughts in print

 

[BlackPoppet]

I self medicate all day long, day after day. I got surgery coming up to heal my condition, but I just can't stop myself now after so many different drugs were thrown at me over the last four years of struggling and constantly seeing doctor and doing different procedures and treatments. I guess Im gonna have to go into detox after I recover from the surgery. It's going to be a bitch though cause I take a fistful of pills every few hours. Most of it is anti-anxiety medication. I have kicked oxycodone, but benzos are a whole different animal as it seems that they completely change your brain chemistry and how you think. I've never had to buy medication in the street as I stay within what Im prescribed, but am tired of feeling numbed out all the time. Its simply the only way I can make it through the day.

 

[Rosiel]

I find that the more certain I am that I CAN choose to end my life in a relatively painless way (i.e. if I have a plan and I have the necessary ingredients on hand to execute that plan), the more I am inspired to try my best to deal with whatever it is that is triggering the suicidal ideation. It's a bit like a last hurrah, if I can just quit this game called life, might as well try and see if I can solve the issues that is making me feel this way, perhaps the universe will be kinder and give me a bit of a leg up.

 

[dysfunctional]

I drink alot.

 

[Werewolf]

I recognize myself in you. I think that after the point you actually allow the idea of suicide to be a solution to a problem, it's becomes a very easy solution to every problem.

As has been stated above, which is what I also believe, it becomes a no-effort-never-will-fail coping mechanism for any minor (or major) issue that otherwise would require one to confront a problem whatever it might be.

My brain works the same way, I take every minor issue I face and make them into end of the world scenarios with no solution.
Also I'm not saying suicide is effortless but the thought of solving whatever problem you face by thinking it's the solution, is.
Its a soothing thought to have an option that will let you not deal with shit.

My primary solution to not have to deal with shit is alcohol but I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[Alpha Centauri]

Something I can highly relate to. The problem that arose 5 years ago that lead me to the reasoning that suicide would be the only solution has vanished over the last 1-2 years, but I still go from 0 to 100 considering suicide whenever I encounter a larger problem in my life. I believe that you lose a significant amount of problem solving skills after a long period of depression/suicidal ideations, so that whenever you encounter any type of problem, your brain just goes straight back to that state where the solution for any problem was suicide because it's just a convenient "solution", and you unlearn the mechanisms you used before to solve those problems.

What helps me when I encounter such feelings is to write down my problem, work out a SHORT analysis of possible solutions, outcomes and associated risks/uncomfortable situations and benefits, and compare them to suicide. The prospect on the the former side is nearly always way better.

If you share your situation with anyone else that you have any connection to (the more similarities, the better), talking to them and asking directly for advice is often the simplest and most effective method for getting you back to reality and opening your mind to more reasonable solutions, and it also helps reducing anxiety if you know you are not the only one struggling, although this is of course not always possible.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I understand this a lot. I personally find it frustrating when I'm told to just distract myself because as exactly as you point on... Am I just going to distract myself forever and eventually wither away! Surely that isn't living a life!?

When I tried staying alive, I would focus on the next good thing and wait for that and then set another milestone for the next good thing. That helped a little but then when you have no good things on your life left like me then you lose purpose.

I hope you find strategies if that is what will be helpful to you!

 

[IWTD]

I ride a motorcycle at a very high speed in conditions that would make most people sh*t

 

[lovelypirategirl]

OMG... I'm glad I found this post, because I can completely relate to it and I'm not just crazy.

As someone mentioned before, when you've spent most of your life depressed the "easiest path" is thinking about suicide in order to resolve a problem.

I guess we are also very tired of life, and our brains just look for any excuse to ctb.

 

[IWTD]

OMG... I'm glad I found this post, because I can completely relate to it and I'm not just crazy.

As someone mentioned before, when you've spent most of your life depressed the "easiest path" is thinking about suicide in order to resolve a problem.

I guess we are also very tired of life, and our brains just look for any excuse to ctb.

Easy is how the well describe it