Tinkerer
Hand me my shovel!
- Mar 5, 2024
- 9
Hey, what's up. My name is Gally (or Tinkerer idgaf) I plan to moonwalk out of life with the CONFETTI CANNON OF DOOM, but not just yet. I've got all you guys to talk to first, right?
As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.
Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVS
Hi! I am sorry all that happened you. I'm glad that you stood up for yourself and divorced that piece of shit.Hello!
I am an irreversibly broken soul who's been faking it for so long, I almost believe myself.
I am at a crossroads with my life. I don't necessarily want to go, I just want the pain to stop.
I was abused most of my life by my now ex husband. In almost every way one can be abused. I have a child with him who prefers to live with him. I am not needed.
I've tried not letting the residual CPTSD get the better of me, but all I hear in my head is the enforced words I heard for sixteen years "crazy, bitch, ugly, unlovable, broken, damaged". Etc etc. My own family stated if I had been a better wife, the hitting, rape, and serial cheating would not have happened. It was my responsibility to make him happy.
I poured myself into him until I had nothing left. I've tried therapy, medication, meditation. Nothing has helped. I'm tired on a spiritual level.
I have a boyfriend I love with everything I've got but unfortunately I do not know how to love myself. I know I'll CTB I just don't know when or how. It's not an if but a when.
On a positive note: I love hiking and being in nature. My hobbies are car karaoke and photography.
Don't know if this means anything to you, but you are not a "stupid fucking people pleaser" you're just a people pleaser and some of the people you instinctively try to please, as a nurtured instinct aren't worth pleasing or simply are impossible to please.Hi everyone,
I'm in my mid 20s, exhausted college dropout suffering from ptsd and severe burnout. I've been lurking on here for a few months and I'm finally taking the plunge.
Backstory below if anyone cares:
I was emotionally and medically neglected as a child/teen, sexually abused by my first 3 boyfriends, financially abused by the one after that, developed the dreaded fawn response pretty early on in all the abuse so now I'm a stupid fucking people pleaser and in a relationship with an emotionally sensitive partner that I have to mother. And to top it all off I live with chronic pain.
I've been in and out of therapy for a couple years and haven't made much progress (not for lack of trying, all of my bouts of therapy have ended with me moving, not being able to afford therapy for a while, or my therapist moved, so it's just bad luck I guess) and I'm honestly just done.
I don't want to put the work in to fix everything wrong with me anymore, I don't have any meaningful emotional support from my partner (when I try to communicate my needs I will inevitably later have to comfort her and exert more emotional labor than if I'd just kept my mouth shut, and whatever the problem is it won't be fixed) and I've wanted to ctb for 15 years.
It's not going to get better. Everytime I'm hopeful something happens to fuck it up. I'm over it.
I'm planning to ctb sometime this year. I'm not sure when yet. Probably the sooner the better, since I don't really want to ruin the holidays for everyone.