Kim
Daydreamer
- Sep 18, 2018
- 156
Hello, 31, from Germany
Hi Project77,
I' m from Germany too. I think this forum is a very good place to stay for a while.
As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.
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Hello, 31, from Germany
Most of my cats are typical short hairs- but I do have a Russian Blue cat who is so soft as well as a long haired one, all super sweetWelcome to the forum, Cee! 5 fishies! I've always wanted pet fishes, but they always ended up dying after a couple days. They're so beautiful, but it's best if I'm not the one taking care of them. What kind of cats do you have? I hope you find comfort and support on this forum, we're pro-choice so we deal with both life and death. I hope to see your name more often around this forum, we don't bite... too hard. :)
welcome to the human, show enjoy you time be for you gohello :)
I'm Cee, im 18. I have 5 cats, 5 fish, and 1 hamster who are my only reasons for living atm. Trying to decide between life and death is certainly one of the most difficult decisions a person can make, and its one ive been working on for quite some time now. Feel free to message me, im super lonely lmao, we can talk abt whatever
Sorry brand new here having difficulty navigating the site how do I post a comment ? Thank youHey all.
Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.
So please post your introductions here. We will remove any welcome thread going forward from this date and redirect users to welcome themselves here or merge their thread into this one.
If you spot a welcome thread, please report it, you won't get in trouble... we just want less clutter. Thank you!
With that, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!
Rules: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/rules-and-faq.4
Resource sticky: https://www.sanctionedsuicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/
To start a new thread navigate to the correct section first (feedback, offtopic or main section) then click "Post New Thread" in the top right corner.I know it seems like I just did but I meant how do I ask questions start a thread ask for advice etc ? Thanks again
Thank you mateTo start a new thread navigate to the correct section first (feedback, offtopic or main section) then click "Post New Thread" in the top right corner.
Hi, I'm 22 and I just had the most intense experience of my life about a month and couple days ago. I came from a very abusive family and I had no autonomy at all, I was like a property to my family where they abused me physically and mentally all my life. I tried ctb twice when I was alone and luckily I didn't get caught or "saved" otherwise I would've been doomed by then.
Since I didn't have much personal space or freedom I thought of giving life a chance and I runaway after contacting many sources, one of them being the friend I'm staying with right now. I thought this would be the end of it but it only got worst for me mentally, especially as I'm trying to reach out to others for help and useless attempts at rebuilding my life, but I feel nothing came out of all of this.
I don't regret running away, but my life just came to an end and I have no one else to reach out too. Some of those promises of helping me re-owning my life came to dust. So I made up my mind to give myself a forceful shut down before I end up homeless and god knows what else.
I'm here basically to plan well before another failed attempt occurs.
Hey Everyone,
I gave a brief intro before but, I thought that I'd lay out my situation in more detail. Basically, a who, what, when, where and how. This is going to be a bit long. So, please bear with me. Besides being depressed, I have a crippling case of social anxiety.
I'm a loner. I mean that in every sense of the word. I have no friends and have no contact with my family. I'm a square peg in a round world. I don't fit in. I'm housebound. I live like a hermit. A recluse. A shut-in. Borderline agoraphobic. I haven't had a job in over 10 years. I live on a fixed income and I donate plasma just to get by. I spend most of my time in my apartment AKA fortress of solitude. I only go out for groceries.
I'm angry, bitter, jaded, cynical and pessimistic. I'm Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. "All you swamp rats, Get Off My Lawn". How did I get this way? My parents split up when I was young. The kids suffer the most, right? Add in the fact that I was abandoned by my mother. That can have a profound psychological impact on a child.
As I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my broken family, my dad moves on and creates a new family. A new mom and a couple of half siblings. It's amazing how fast you can go from 1st born son to redheaded stepchild to black sheep. They had their 'golden boys' and had no use for me anymore.
So, I left home and went into the system. I spent my adolescent years in foster homes, group homes and other institutions. Got into a little trouble, nothing major. When I became an adult, I was on my own. I've had little to no contact with my family and that includes my extended family.
I'm unable to engage with people. It's a lonely and miserable way to live. That's my main reason for wanting to CTB. They say that kids who come from broken families spend their entire life trying to create the perfect family. That's certainly been my dream. Wife. Two kids. Dog. House. White picket fence.
When I turned 40, something happened. Call it my biological clock. The dream is dead. That last delusional bit of hope I was clinging to is gone. To me, a life lived alone is no life at all. I am 'The Walking Dead'.
I've been hospitalized on three separate occasions. First time, I was a kid and was just trying to get some attention. Second time, as an adult I tried to hang myself. It didn't go well. You know what, unless you drop from a certain height and snap your neck, it wouldn't be a pleasant way to go. Third time, a few years later, I had a gun. I hadn't set a date but, it was a comforting feeling to have a gun. What happened? One day, the cops came knocking. I must've opened my mouth, one too many times.
It was for the best, though. I've settled on another method. I'm going to take a header off a bridge into water. I've done my research. Any height beyond 150 ft. and you're gambling with your life. For instance, The Golden Gate Bridge has a 98% fatality rate. That's almost foolproof. The few survivors either went in feet first or managed to angle their bodies at the right time.
Anyone seen Scent of A Woman? Well, that's my blueprint. I'm going to paint the town red, literally. Stay in a nice hotel. Hire an escort. Have sex with a woman who's WAY out of my league. Have a last meal and then go for a long walk…
Whew, that went longer than I thought. If you read this far then, I thank you and I'm sorry. Would love to know what you think.
Hi everyone, I'm from Brazil, 22 yo. I've lost most of my hope because of a relationship that should have never started (besides depression and anxiety). Really the biggest problem was timing, feel like everything went backwards, otherwise I could probably be fairly happy with my life right now. Also drugs. stay away from them if you can. Right now I'm trying to learn how to forgive others and myself because I know I wont be able to ctb anytime soon. There's so much more I want to write but this isn't the right place I think. maybe someday I'll make a thread to get it off my chest.
Hi everyone male 29 from uk been reading forum for weeks first post.
hello, I'm willow. Been around ss and related communities for ~2 years now.
ive had severe issues with anxiety since i was about 5 yrs old, and since then I've developed my own personal nightmarish buffet of mental and physical problems. I'm in constant pain. my mental state has escalated beyond my control. being alive is so unpleasant and it's comforting to be around people who feel similarly, so... here I am.
Im particularly passionate about music, art and video games, or at least i used to be before i became this empty husk
Welcome to the forum, Willow, glad you made an account here to hopefully add your opinion and voice to this site! You already know how things work around here, so you know that you can be yourself and easily find support, resources, comfort, a place to vent, and basically everything on SS. I can't wait to see what other posts you're going to make. :)
Highest high to the lowest low.
Hi there.
Been lurking around this site for a while and thought I would introduce myself with a story.
So 2017 was one of the best years ove had during my rather mediocre stay on this planet.
A woman I loved traveled the world a future something to look forward to.
12 months later the woman i love leaves. I have to leave my home town move halfway across the country.
I know it must seem like i have it 'easier' than a lot of people here. I have no (diagnosed) mental health problems. No physical health problems.
I work I can keep a roof over my head.
So what's the problem I hear you all cry?
Soul destroying crippling loneliness. I have no friends I have family but we aren't close.
Working in a customer facing rope makes it worse every day. The fake smiles the fake platitudes the fake conversation. People talking for the sake of talking with nothing to say.
Everytime I wake up I have a few seconds of relief untill the realness of my situation.
I have my method.
I have the materials.
All I'm missing is a location.
And conviction.
So my hello turned into a bit of a rant!
Hello, all. I joined this site to end my life as soon as possible. I've tried to be hopeful about getting over my BPD and depression but was recently dumped and told some things that made me realize I don't really have what it takes to make any meaningful progress, let alone overcome mental illness. Even if I can, I don't want to keep going through the journey.
I guess I also want to feel less lonely in my last days. I'm 19, female, and into vidya games. I also have an obsession with being beautiful lmao. I guess it hasn't helped that I can't afford plastic surgery. IDK how this site works but feel free to talk to me, it'd be really nice :) just keep in mind I am not comfortable helping aid others' deaths- just mine.
I'm looking for a peaceful exit, I think I deserve that. Something I can do in my car so my mom doesn't have to find my body in my room. Was pretty set on a nitrogen/helium exit bag but wouldn't mind hearing about anything easier.
Have a mellow day, everybody.
What's poppin', fam.
Found this place while wondering about the process of dying in a hot car and seeing a thread about it here (found out it's awful!). For at least over half my life, I've put up w/ being suicidal (and like, the other emotional baggage that often comes w/ it). Therapy may have helped me develop pretty decent listening techniques and ways to navigate emotions within myself and with others but still hasn't quite landed in that sweet spot to make me not want to die (one therapist, after an intense session, tried to get me to check into a clinic to be put on watch after i disclosed suicidal urges--i'd spend the next two hours convincing her i was actually fine [i was having guests over that night, so like that would've been super inconvenient!]). So yeah. It's. Kinda dope that I've found this place.
I haven't really settled on a method, but I do know I'd like it to be kept clean. It probably wouldn't be an easy thing to deal with for others in the aftermath. But I wouldn't want to cause too much of an inconvenience or the imagined emotional burdens make me sad. So for now, that mostly keeps me going. So we'll see how that goes until that's no longer enough or I scrounge up an internalized will to live.
So yeah, I like cooking, the true crime genre, pop music, and tabletop roleplaying games. Horseshoe crabs are my favorite animal.
I'm lost and scared. I don't know how things are going to turn out, and I don't really want to be there to see it.