Story SN Survival One Year Later- Slow and Painful

[resolutory]

I think it means consider seeking medical help.

Ahh. Hopefully I don't vomit two glasses then...

 

[Jadzia]

Ahh. Hopefully I don't vomit two glasses then...

Even if you did, you could still have enough SN in your system. People have succeeded after only one glass and vomiting.

 

[resolutory]

Even if you did, you could still have enough SN in your system. People have succeeded after only one glass and vomiting.

Oh for real!? That's good to know, that's relieved me a bit of the concern of trying to make sure I hold down both drinks.

 

[SamTam33]

I'm a survivor as well. Attempted 2 years ago...

...I'm infinitely grateful I recovered completely to mostly the same state as I was before the attempt. Stan was telling the truth about complete recovery being possible after a failed attempt

You said 'mostly.' What feels different now compared to how you were before?

I'm really not worried about the effects right before death (no pain, no gain), but I wonder what it does to the body longterm if you survive.

 

[Judy Garland]

I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just that every day there seems to be some post about SN that is very dramatic and differs from most other accounts and then everyone comes out of the woodwork to post on how scared shitless it made them. Maybe every single thing OP says is true, but I think it's beneficial to remind everyone that the pph gave SN a score of 7 for peacefulness for a reason and they really should decide for themselves and not let 1 random case that can't be proven or disproven scare them out of what very well could be a peaceful exit for them.

Scared shitless like me. Yup. I came out of the woodwork. :-'(

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I have nothing to gain from "lying". Trust me or not. Believe me or think of full of shit. But I know what I experienced.

You may. If you're an anti-choicer spreading false propaganda in in order to persuade others not to end their lives with SN, or any other method for that for that matter. Think it doesn't happen on SS, think again. Your sensational account of anecdotal "evidence" is contrary to every other anecdotal account of SN survival on SS, or anywhere else for that matter.

I am so glad the truth about SN is finally coming out. Thank you for your efforts.

This is far from the truth. It's not good to just believe anything you read. Ask yourself what does some stranger on the Internet have to gain from posting some fantastical story like this? You don't know this person. You weren't there to witnes any of this. The entire account is completely anecdotal. Well, if they're an anti-choicer/pro-lifer, then I'd argue, they have something to gain if they can convince just one person not to end their life, because this is what they want, to take away your autonomy and choice over your own self.

Now ask yourself what do others who have posted best known information and practices about SN have to gain by giving you that information? Nothing. They don't care one way or another if you want to end your life.

Who is more likely to have ulterior motives?

 

[Judy Garland]

AHHHHHH! This is TOO MUCH. I can't take this anymore! I'm so lost now. I was so sure with my plan, I felt good. I felt like I no longer had to worry about anything. I kept saying to myself, "Who cares if the heat doesn't work...I won't have to deal with it for long. Who cares that my landlord raised the rent...I won't be here". I was feeling so ready. And now I'm FUCKING FUCKED! What the FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I can't take this.

 

[Jarni]

AHHHHHH! This is TOO MUCH. I can't take this anymore! I'm so lost now. I was so sure with my plan, I felt good. I felt like I no longer had to worry about anything. I kept saying to myself, "Who cares if the heat doesn't work...I won't have to deal with it for long. Who cares that my landlord raised the rent...I won't be here". I was feeling so ready. And now I'm FUCKING FUCKED! What the FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I can't take this.

I understand but I think the real priority is to design the strategy to take the 2d glass by any mean.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

AHHHHHH! This is TOO MUCH. I can't take this anymore! I'm so lost now. I was so sure with my plan, I felt good. I felt like I no longer had to worry about anything. I kept saying to myself, "Who cares if the heat doesn't work...I won't have to deal with it for long. Who cares that my landlord raised the rent...I won't be here". I was feeling so ready. And now I'm FUCKING FUCKED! What the FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I can't take this.

But you already knew that there were no guarantees and that there were negative anecdotes. This doesn't really shake my faith too much, though that may be due to my desperation.

 

[TimetoGo!]

I mean this in the nicest way but, I'm having a hard time believing this, mostly because I thought I finally found a way out, that is peaceful, with the SN method. I am really hoping someone can confirm this is what could happen

You are poisoning your body, of course it can happen!!

 

[Idontmatter]

AHHHHHH! This is TOO MUCH. I can't take this anymore! I'm so lost now. I was so sure with my plan, I felt good. I felt like I no longer had to worry about anything. I kept saying to myself, "Who cares if the heat doesn't work...I won't have to deal with it for long. Who cares that my landlord raised the rent...I won't be here". I was feeling so ready. And now I'm FUCKING FUCKED! What the FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I can't take this.

I still have faith in the method. If the op didn't call for help they wouldn't be here right now. Nothing changes for me with sn. I'm still planning on using it.

 

[aforestfire]

AHHHHHH! This is TOO MUCH. I can't take this anymore! I'm so lost now. I was so sure with my plan, I felt good. I felt like I no longer had to worry about anything. I kept saying to myself, "Who cares if the heat doesn't work...I won't have to deal with it for long. Who cares that my landlord raised the rent...I won't be here". I was feeling so ready. And now I'm FUCKING FUCKED! What the FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I can't take this.

there's a pattern: people not following the guide right and then failing. as any other method, the chance of going wrong exists and you can't always control that. sn remains more reliable.

 

[freedompass]

Well its been nearly a year since my SN Survival.(check my previous posts for more details)Things have been rough, but, without going into too much detail ive somehow managed to get my life somewhat better than it was. Beside some minor short term memory issues, I'm pretty much fully recovered by now. I no longer have to take pills for my heart or check my blood pressure anymore. But I will say having gained a lot of my memory back since getting a traumatic brain injury after surviving the attempt; remembering the events of that night aren't the greatest to say the least. I don't write this to fear monger or try to dissuade anyone from making the choice to follow through with this method; I just thought to leave some more of my story here, partly because I need to vent, but also because i think its very important for me to put the information out there that someone may be prepared for the worst case scenario experience if they do decide to make the choice-even if they follow the regiment. Again, this is MY experience it shouldn't necessarily be indicative of this method as a whole. But I have lived through this. I feel like a have pretty good understanding of it.

Now that my memory is a lot clearer, I more accurately recall pretty much everything about my attempt now. Firstly, I now recall that it was NOT PEACEFUL, and NOT PAINLESS (Yes following the regiment etc. etc.,see previous post) The time going from conscious to unconscious was far far far too long to be even remotely comfortable. I think i went into it assuming that I would take it and it might suck for a second and it would kind of be like an alcohol blackout, or maybe SN wasn't even lethal, maybe and it was all just bs.

It was not that smooth at all.

After pacing back and forth for hours, i get the "courage" to down it. I felt fine for a good 10-15 minutes; Get a bit uncomfortable, nauseas, lethargic, whatever, nothing more than a hangover. Then all of a sudden I feel like I was gonna implode upon myself. Think of like the worst headache you've ever had and multiply the severity that by a thousand. Then there's a loud ringing in my ears. Vision goes dark and back again and dark and back. I get like brief 2 second lapses in memory. Sounds distort, sound like they're coming from out of a pool or something, really muffled. Feel like there's a gigantic weight on my chest. Feel like I'm losing consciousness but I'm not yet. Try to calm down but I'm still not passing out. I then settle into a type of feeling that I can't even describe. I don't even have a name for it, suffering?, fear?, pain?, whatever it is its unbearable. I know now that I'm dieing, but the feeling continues, I'm suffering, begging my brain to put me out of my misery. But I still remain conscious. My brain is torturing me.
Panic sets in. Want to scream for help but I can't raise my voice for some reason. Crying like a baby now, as my brain fills my head with thoughts of the few people who mean something to me and how I'm a failure to them. Can't hear my own voice as I get to my phone to call for help. Lose all balance and coordination. Feel like I have sleep paralysis but I'm standing up. Pass out for a few seconds. Wake. Pass out. Wake. Pass out. Wake. Somehow get the quick thinking that I'll need to unlock the door to my apartment so that paramedics, can get to me. Fall down and slam my head on the tile floor right before I can get to the door . Blood gushing down from my split open brow into my eye. Blind. Get up . Fall again. Lose all senses. Get up again, relying on pure will and muscle memory, I unlock the door.

I literally died. My pulse stopped. In what feels like an eternity I awake in the hospital for a brief mimute. Go into a coma for a while. Awake in hospital again. Go through Physical and cognitive therapy for months. Heart problems.

Entually able to move on. The total cost of my care in the hospital was nearly a million dollars. Something all family and relatives had to scrape together, So that's a fun thing about the American healthcare system.

Flash forward to now. I do feel better about myself, and am making changes in my life. Im moving on now.

I know it's the last thing someone will want to hear. But please take some time to consider your decisions. And call me not genuine or corny, or whatever, but to whoever took their time to read this I'm sending love your way.

If I'm honest. After reading that I'm out. Thanks so much for such a clear, detailed and vivid account. And I'm so thankful you eventually made a good recovery!

 

[Wannagonow]

I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just that every day there seems to be some post about SN that is very dramatic and differs from most other accounts and then everyone comes out of the woodwork to post on how scared shitless it made them. Maybe every single thing OP says is true, but I think it's beneficial to remind everyone that the pph gave SN a score of 7 for peacefulness for a reason and they really should decide for themselves and not let 1 random case that can't be proven or disproven scare them out of what very well could be a peaceful exit for them.

Agreed.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

AHHHHHH! This is TOO MUCH. I can't take this anymore! I'm so lost now. I was so sure with my plan, I felt good. I felt like I no longer had to worry about anything. I kept saying to myself, "Who cares if the heat doesn't work...I won't have to deal with it for long. Who cares that my landlord raised the rent...I won't be here". I was feeling so ready. And now I'm FUCKING FUCKED! What the FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! I can't take this.

They didn't follow the guide and drank alcohol. People continue to freak out when these sorts of threads pop up. If you notice every single one of these failure threads they usually did not follow the protocol properly.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It's absolutely astonishing to me how people are willing to let a few people whom blatantly ignored the guide, gaslight them into thinking sn fails. But hey, if you would rather wait a million years until there is an N stork, have at it.

This is why you go by the guide and the majority of reported cases, vs 2 randos on this forum that have a chance of fabricating details.

 

[deathissosad]

Find it kinda crazy how badly op is getting attacked. Like to be honest she is sharing her personal experience its up to the reader to have their own opinion but why all the need to shoot someone down if they show the other side of SN??? Its not about fear mongering but its about going into something irreversible with as much info as possible. Crazy how vindictive people are being on this post…

 

[jessisme]

I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just that every day there seems to be some post about SN that is very dramatic and differs from most other accounts and then everyone comes out of the woodwork to post on how scared shitless it made them. Maybe every single thing OP says is true, but I think it's beneficial to remind everyone that the pph gave SN a score of 7 for peacefulness for a reason and they really should decide for themselves and not let 1 random case that can't be proven or disproven scare them out of what very well could be a peaceful exit for them.

I wonder if it's in the SN that is being taken…if there are some kind of fillers mixed in with it or if the purity isn't what is represented…something in the SN that is available on the market now that causes different experiences in those who use it to ctb. Different from the SN that was used when the studies were done by the PPEH. It's worth considering.

 

[wait.what]

So this is my takeaway: while you don't technically need the various recommended prescription drugs in order to die from SN, you do need them to minimize your chances of severe and prolonged suffering. A lot of people seem to be going ahead with the SN even though they can't get the antiemetics, or the benzos, or the beta blockers, or some combination thereof.

Don't.

There's no absolute guarantee that OP's experience would have been different if they'd used the recommended large dose of benzos instead of what sounds like a fairly small amount of alcohol, but it's plausible that it would have been. I'm not criticizing JJJune for doing it the way they did, or saying they deserved to suffer. Of course they didn't. I'm also not remotely suggesting that they're lying. If anything is difficult to believe, it's that drinking poison would ever NOT result in intense suffering. I mean, you'd expect to feel like you've just drunk poison. On account of the fact that you literally have.

For the love of God, people … treat SN with some serious respect. Don't ingest it if you don't want to die. Even if you do want to die, don't imagine it's fairy dust that will necessarily send you sweetly to sleep. It MIGHT be fairly painless if you take it with all that other stuff that is meant to counteract the worst of its effects. It also might not be. People can react to chemicals and medications very differently.

It seems sort of ridiculous to have to say this, but I will anyway: for most people, dying feels horrible. That is the baseline. That is what to expect. If you can manage to be unconscious for most of it, so much the better, but that's not something you can guarantee. So don't go around pissed off like you want to talk to the manager if someone tells you that their near-death experience was horrific. What else would you expect? Nature selects for organisms with strong survival instincts. That is why most of us are still here.

 

[Mofreeko]

So this is my takeaway: while you don't technically need the various recommended prescription drugs in order to die from SN, you do need them to minimize your chances of severe and prolonged suffering. A lot of people seem to be going ahead with the SN even though they can't get the antiemetics, or the benzos, or the beta blockers, or some combination thereof.

Don't.

There's no absolute guarantee that OP's experience would have been different if they'd used the recommended large dose of benzos instead of what sounds like a fairly small amount of alcohol, but it's plausible that it would have been. I'm not criticizing JJJune for doing it the way they did, or saying they deserved to suffer. Of course they didn't. I'm also not remotely suggesting that they're lying. If anything is difficult to believe, it's that drinking poison would ever NOT result in intense suffering. I mean, you'd expect to feel like you've just drunk poison. On account of the fact that you literally have.

For the love of God, people … treat SN with some serious respect. Don't ingest it if you don't want to die. Even if you do want to die, don't imagine it's fairy dust that will necessarily send you sweetly to sleep. It MIGHT be fairly painless if you take it with all that other stuff that is meant to counteract the worst of its effects. It also might not be. People can react to chemicals and medications very differently.

It seems sort of ridiculous to have to say this, but I will anyway: for most people, dying feels horrible. That is the baseline. That is what to expect. If you can manage to be unconscious for most of it, so much the better, but that's not something you can guarantee. So don't go around pissed off like you want to talk to the manager if someone tells you that their near-death experience was horrific. What else would you expect? Nature selects for organisms with strong survival instincts. That is why most of us are still here.

What do you mean? According to OP I can swig 10 grams of this stuff, not vomit and be fresh as a daisy the next morning.

 

[deathissosad]

What do you mean? According to OP I can swig 10 grams of this stuff, not vomit and be fresh as a daisy the next morning.

Bud. Are you reading the right post? She literally doesnt say that at all.?

So this is my takeaway: while you don't technically need the various recommended prescription drugs in order to die from SN, you do need them to minimize your chances of severe and prolonged suffering. A lot of people seem to be going ahead with the SN even though they can't get the antiemetics, or the benzos, or the beta blockers, or some combination thereof.

Don't.

There's no absolute guarantee that OP's experience would have been different if they'd used the recommended large dose of benzos instead of what sounds like a fairly small amount of alcohol, but it's plausible that it would have been. I'm not criticizing JJJune for doing it the way they did, or saying they deserved to suffer. Of course they didn't. I'm also not remotely suggesting that they're lying. If anything is difficult to believe, it's that drinking poison would ever NOT result in intense suffering. I mean, you'd expect to feel like you've just drunk poison. On account of the fact that you literally have.

For the love of God, people … treat SN with some serious respect. Don't ingest it if you don't want to die. Even if you do want to die, don't imagine it's fairy dust that will necessarily send you sweetly to sleep. It MIGHT be fairly painless if you take it with all that other stuff that is meant to counteract the worst of its effects. It also might not be. People can react to chemicals and medications very differently.

It seems sort of ridiculous to have to say this, but I will anyway: for most people, dying feels horrible. That is the baseline. That is what to expect. If you can manage to be unconscious for most of it, so much the better, but that's not something you can guarantee. So don't go around pissed off like you want to talk to the manager if someone tells you that their near-death experience was horrific. What else would you expect? Nature selects for organisms with strong survival instincts. That is why most of us are still here.

Couldn't agree more!

 

[Zegers]

Several new threads similar. Dubious.

 

[conflagration]

Even death penalty by lethal injection which is designed to be painless and reliable and is conducted by professionals sometimes goes wrong. No wonder that SN with peacefulness rating 7/10 conducted by amateurs who not always follows protocol sometimes goes bad.

 

[Shu]

You went digging but missed the part where they fell and hit their head, causing brain injury?

They never mentioned that them falling and hitting their head is what caused the brain injury.

 

[Forever Sleep]

They never mentioned that them falling and hitting their head is what caused the brain injury.

From OP:

'Fall down and slam my head on the tile floor right before I can get to the door . Blood gushing down from my split open brow into my eye. Blind. Get up . Fall again. Lose all senses. Get up again, relying on pure will and muscle memory, I unlock the door.'

Perhaps it didn't cause the brain injury but it can't have helped. I feel awful for the OP- don't get me wrong. None of us really know how we are going to react to it. By the sounds of it, the OP had a horrible experience and (understandably) panicked. It sounds as if they stumbled around a great deal trying to get help and blacked out many times.

Perhaps it was the SN that caused the injury. Perhaps it was striking their head. I suspect ANY method that kills via depriving the body of oxygen carries the risk of brain injury. It IS something we all need to consider. Still- I imagine the risk of injuring yourself is MUCH higher if you try getting up and walking around. It's not to blame them- I'm just saying.

Maybe I read this wrong though- sorry- I didn't read the whole thread. Did they say the brain injury had definitely come from the SN? I suppose it's not always harmless when interupted. It likely depends on just how much the body has absorbed. Must admit- it's scary reading stuff like this. It's still the method I feel most confident to actually try though.

 

[Shu]

From OP:

'Fall down and slam my head on the tile floor right before I can get to the door . Blood gushing down from my split open brow into my eye. Blind. Get up . Fall again. Lose all senses. Get up again, relying on pure will and muscle memory, I unlock the door.'

Perhaps it didn't cause the brain injury but it can't have helped. I feel awful for the OP- don't get me wrong. None of us really know how we are going to react to it. By the sounds of it, the OP had a horrible experience and (understandably) panicked. It sounds as if they stumbled around a great deal trying to get help and blacked out many times.

Perhaps it was the SN that caused the injury. Perhaps it was striking their head. I suspect ANY method that kills via depriving the body of oxygen carries the risk of brain injury. It IS something we all need to consider. Still- I imagine the risk of injuring yourself is MUCH higher if you try getting up and walking around. It's not to blame them- I'm just saying.

Maybe I read this wrong though- sorry- I didn't read the whole thread. Did they say the brain injury had definitely come from the SN? I suppose it's not always harmless when interupted. It likely depends on just how much the body has absorbed. Must admit- it's scary reading stuff like this. It's still the method I feel most confident to actually try though.

I'd recommend taking some time to read through the thread if you have time. They posted two of them and seem to change their wording around a little bit I don't know. Whatever the case I wish them well. I wish you well also. RIP @Mofreeko
article about survived case with brain damage: "Delayed post-hypoxic leukoencephalopathy (DPHL) is a demyelinating syndrome that occurs days to weeks after the brain has recovered from a coma. It is caused by the period of hypoxia and is characterized by mental disorders, extrapyramidal system symptoms, and motor changes. Common causes include cardiogenic shock, severe anemia, massive blood loss, and poisoning. There are only a few reports of DPHL due to nitrite poisoning in literature.

Most patients usually recover completely. However, DPHL can easily induce long-term neurological deficits. Within a few weeks, patients with mild symptoms gradually begin to recover some functions, such as speaking and walking. After 1–−2 years, most patients return to their baseline level, but following such poisoning, cognitive impairment including short-term memory deficits and fatigue may persist and hamper the patient's independence, reducing their quality of life."