Discussion Thoughts and Opinions as a Funeral Director

[itsnigh]

What brought you to the site, curiosity?
(Just curious) but it's been really informative reading all your thread here. Thanks.

What is the most common thing you would say you have seen where it is deemed an accident but could well be a suicide?

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Is there anything that made you nearly quit your job? Especially having to see/smell something really unpleasant. I'm considering trying to work in the funeral industry part time.. I can handle a lot of things but I've heard sometimes you come across things in this business that traumatize someone badly.

 

[InterestedParty]

What methods have you seen this week?

None this week. Not so common that im even guaranteed to see one per week tbh

What brought you to the site, curiosity?
(Just curious) but it's been really informative reading all your thread here. Thanks.

What is the most common thing you would say you have seen where it is deemed an accident but could well be a suicide?

At first glance I thought i had stumbled onto some weird death cult that obsesses with suicide, but now im here just because there are a lot of interesting conversations to be had.

Most common thing ive seen that was deemed an accident but could have been suicide? Hard to say because I really only ever think of the funeral side of things, do not give much thought past that, many ODs are suspect though.

Is there anything that made you nearly quit your job? Especially having to see/smell something really unpleasant. I'm considering trying to work in the funeral industry part time.. I can handle a lot of things but I've heard sometimes you come across things in this business that traumatize someone badly.

Nah I love this job, good hours, decent pay, flexibility. You see and smell some horrid things occasionally, but typically you and your coworkers just laugh it off and carry on.

Really not that horrible.

 

[MeaCulpa]

Have you ever had someone that jumped off a bridge? If so, was the body at all salvageable for an open casket? (And, a little more specifically if the answer to the first question is yes: have you had any that went into the water head-first?)
Thank you for all of the answers-- this thread has been an absolutely fascinating and highly informative read.

 

[InterestedParty]

Have you ever had someone that jumped off a bridge? If so, was the body at all salvageable for an open casket? (And, a little more specifically if the answer to the first question is yes: have you had any that went into the water head-first?)
Thank you for all of the answers-- this thread has been an absolutely fascinating and highly informative read.

Hi

Are you planning to jump off a bridge?

I have seen one bridge jumper, but i guess it was more of an overpass and into concrete? Not at all sakvageable for an open casket.

As for a water jumping, have not personally seen one, but if the body is not recovered in a timely manner, water decomposes bodies veryyy quickly

 

[MeaCulpa]

Hi

Are you planning to jump off a bridge?

I have seen one bridge jumper, but i guess it was more of an overpass and into concrete? Not at all sakvageable for an open casket.

As for a water jumping, have not personally seen one, but if the body is not recovered in a timely manner, water decomposes bodies veryyy quickly

Thank you for the response- it confirms what I suspected. It would be a bridge into water for me, so I imagine there's a high risk of not being recovered quickly enough (if at all) to prevent decomp (something that I'm fine with, personally.) I suppose, to me, it's a bit of a "return to nature" thing in a way. I'm content with that.
Do you ever have funerals without bodies (not exclusive to suicides, just in general)? I know I've attended a few in the past, but they were usually just church services of a sort-- I'm sure there may be a distinction I'm missing here.

 

[InterestedParty]

Thank you for the response- it confirms what I suspected. It would be a bridge into water for me, so I imagine there's a high risk of not being recovered quickly enough (if at all) to prevent decomp (something that I'm fine with, personally.) I suppose, to me, it's a bit of a "return to nature" thing in a way. I'm content with that.
Do you ever have funerals without bodies (not exclusive to suicides, just in general)? I know I've attended a few in the past, but they were usually just church services of a sort-- I'm sure there may be a distinction I'm missing here.

Why bridge in to water btw? Just curious why that is the method you have chosen.

Yuppp, people use our funeral home services and it serves as just like a memorial/ celebration of life.

I have had quite a few where we have the body in good shape, but the family just prefers it not to be present during the service,

To each their own I guess

 

[MeaCulpa]

Why bridge in to water btw? Just curious why that is the method you have chosen.

It's more of the specific bridge and the specific river for me. It's actually lower than the Golden Gate, so there's a risk of survival with this particular bridge, but it's important to me. It's my death and I get to choose how I want it, I guess?
There's the added bonus of no risk of harming a pedestrian/passengers/etc by jumping into water instead of, say, jumping off of a building or an overpass.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond- it's been very insightful to read your replies.

 

[InterestedParty]

It's more of the specific bridge and the specific river for me. It's actually lower than the Golden Gate, so there's a risk of survival with this particular bridge, but it's important to me. It's my death and I get to choose how I want it, I guess?
There's the added bonus of no risk of harming a pedestrian/passengers/etc by jumping into water instead of, say, jumping off of a building or an overpass.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond- it's been very insightful to read your replies.

Yea of course

also hahaha i take it by your mention of the golden gate youre also a bay area native? or just mentioned it for it propensity for suicides?

 

[Whydid]

Why are SN deaths such a rarity? This just confirms my fear that it's not a reliable method

 

[InterestedParty]

Why are SN deaths such a rarity? This just confirms my fear that it's not a reliable method

I think this website serves as an echo chamber for SN. I feel like the majority of people who go through with suicide go through with it impulsively, with what they have in the moment (guns, rope, jumping, etc).

No clue as to the reliability of it, but personally outside of this website, I had never even heard of the compound before,

 

[InterestedParty]

bumping if anyone has more questions

 

[Pryras]

I want to keep my death as private as possible. If my family were to have a viewing or service before they cremated me, would someone be able to obtain this information online? As in some kind of public record?

 

[InterestedParty]

I want to keep my death as private as possible. If my family were to have a viewing or service before they cremated me, would someone be able to obtain this information online? As in some kind of public record?

As long as you plan your funeral yourself in advanced, then you can request it to not appear on obituaries or have an online entry.

If not you are at the mercy of your family deciding what they would like to do

 

[losing hope]

Thanks for this thread. Useful info.

From all the full suspension hanging deaths you've seen and the brusing marks on necks. On average did it look like the person struggled. Or in other words does FSH look painful?

 

[InterestedParty]

Thanks for this thread. Useful info.

From all the full suspension hanging deaths you've seen and the brusing marks on necks. On average did it look like the person struggled. Or in other words does FSH look painful?

Im not sure about struggle, but man the bruising is intense.

Also in case you werent privvy to this information. After a full suspension hanging, your muscles will relax after death, because you are at the mercy of gravity, you will empty your bowels into whatever it is you are wearing. So chances are whoever finds you sees with defecated pants.

 

[ExpiredLion]

How do you go about prearranging a funeral as a young person without raising any suspicions? Are said arrangements legally binding if paid while still alive?

 

[TANETS]

Very oddly specific question but is it possible to still have a "casket" like burial if a person is cremated? And if so, could they still be buried with sentimental items?

 

[InterestedParty]

How do you go about prearranging a funeral as a young person without raising any suspicions? Are said arrangements legally binding if paid while still alive?

I think itd be suspicious anyway you go about it, if a 20 something year old without reported medical conditions came in, people would forsure gossip. Just play it cool and say youre just investing in your funeral before prices go up in the future.

Yup to second one.

Very oddly specific question but is it possible to still have a "casket" like burial if a person is cremated? And if so, could they still be buried with sentimental items?

A casket like burial with cremation remains.

Ya lol, actually did one last week, we put the casket with the urn inside of it in the ground.

 

[InterestedParty]

bumping for those with more questions

 

[InterestedParty]

bump :)

 

[J&L383]

Im not sure about struggle, but man the bruising is intense.

Also in case you werent privvy to this information. After a full suspension hanging, your muscles will relax after death, because you are at the mercy of gravity, you will empty your bowels into whatever it is you are wearing. So chances are whoever finds you sees with defecated pants.

Good to know. Whether a person is found with the aforementioned situation depends on Depends.

 

[itsnigh]

Have you ever googled what death by sn looks like by any chance? Wondering if that is easy to cover up during embalming.

 

[InterestedParty]

Have you ever googled what death by sn looks like by any chance? Wondering if that is easy to cover up during embalming.

Yes I have seen pictures. To cover up as in mortuary makeup?

 

[mattoman]

Sorry if you already had answered to this question, tried to read this through, but do suicide victims make your job tough? I mean people die from old age and have many illnesses, so it's kinda "expected", accidents are sad too but they aren't really in control of the victims. Suicides on the other hand, well, it's in control of the person ctb'ing. Or if you have worked longer in the field, is it just "well, another dead person" type of feeling?

 

[itsnigh]

Yes I have seen pictures. To cover up as in mortuary makeup?

Yeah, I assume it would be hard to de grey/blue somebody like that

 

[InterestedParty]

Sorry if you already had answered to this question, tried to read this through, but do suicide victims make your job tough? I mean people die from old age and have many illnesses, so it's kinda "expected", accidents are sad too but they aren't really in control of the victims. Suicides on the other hand, well, it's in control of the person ctb'ing. Or if you have worked longer in the field, is it just "well, another dead person" type of feeling?

I have been in the field for 2 years, for the real veterans in the field absolutely nothing phases them. For me it still sort of is well just another dead person, but I do take greater curiosity as to what in their life led to them taking their lives. I tend to listen to the eulogies closely.

Yeah, I assume it would be hard to de grey/blue somebody like that

Would probably be case by case, but mortuary makeup is extremely thick and really cakes up on top of the skin, so you do not really see any hint of how the skin beneath looks. So I would think it would not be a problem in most cases.

 

[unknown_xav]

I have been in the field for 2 years, for the real veterans in the field absolutely nothing phases them. For me it still sort of is well just another dead person, but I do take greater curiosity as to what in their life led to them taking their lives. I tend to listen to the eulogies closely

Maybe just to add to this, an extra question. In terms of suicides are those you see most likely to be younger? What ranges? Than say older people who have a sickness that decided to end it all due to pain. And also what is the youngest person by age you've had to deal with, and how was your experience then?

 

[InterestedParty]

Maybe just to add to this, an extra question. In terms of suicides are those you see most likely to be younger? What ranges? Than say older people who have a sickness that decided to end it all due to pain. And also what is the youngest person by age you've had to deal with, and how was your experience then?

Has been pretty varied in age group. Youngest I have seen was 12 , and the oldest about 60? Was definitely a sad sight, allegedly what occurred was the 12 year old girl had a birthday party that nobody attended, so she hanged herself. Unfortunate.

 

[Ah.ow]

Well this is my first post on this website, as I very recently found it while prowling through the CoE website.

I am a funeral director in a major Californian city, so naturally, I see my fair share of suicides a month.

This website strikes me as interesting though in that many people on here seem so motivated to learn and try out these elaborate suicides methods.

I think most people lack creativity in that in the past 30 days I had 2 by train, 1 by gunshot, and 3 by hanging. But other than that I did not see any other method this month.

But what I was trying to get at is that is from my personal experience, hanging is by far the most popular method at least in this part of California...

Also, yes, I can confirm that many families look ruined after one of their loved ones decides to go through with it, so keep that in mind I suppose.

If anyone has any questions though would be more than happy to answer them :)

is asking what's
CoE ok?