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How did you view suicide BEFORE you were suicidal?

  • I had never thought about it much

    Votes: 99 33.8%
  • I was Conflicted/Unsure

    Votes: 37 12.6%
  • Pro-choice for adults but with only serious health problems

    Votes: 32 10.9%
  • Pro-choice for all adults

    Votes: 40 13.7%
  • Pro-life

    Votes: 45 15.4%
  • Other

    Votes: 40 13.7%

  • Total voters
    293
  • This poll will close: .
MeltingBrain

MeltingBrain

Mage
May 29, 2023
592
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MeltingBrain

MeltingBrain

Mage
May 29, 2023
592
Why are so many people voting other ?
 
MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
I never cared that much for suicide, idk I just felt nothing towards, I felt like it was just another way to die. Idk, in grade 9 when I was extremely depressed, I also thought of suicide with a warm glow to it, a warm feeling, I still feel that towards suicide
 
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S

Suicidе

Life is unacceptable
Sep 11, 2022
63
I was taught to look down on it by religious indoctrination, but in reality I was too afraid to form opinions and truly express myself out of fear of social repercussion.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,657
To me it was always clear that suicide is an option I would consider under certain life circumstances. (Always: pro-choice)
 
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hhh_

hhh_

9/27🪦
Jun 17, 2023
22
i guess i just thought of it as an option that was always there and to an extent i understood why people did it before actually becoming suicidal myself
 
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S

suicidalloser

Specialist
Jun 30, 2023
365
I was always suicidal.
 
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liljeep

liljeep

wake up i know you can hear me
Jul 1, 2023
96
I must've thought something about it, since when I was only 11 I agefaked to be a listener on 7 Cups Of Tea (where actively suicidal people would come to talk despite the rules saying they were not a hotline for that). I think mainly I just didn't want anyone to do it if I could prevent it, but I did not think about whether it is 'right' or 'wrong' to do. I just cared about people surviving whatever it was that drove them to consider it and wanted to save whoever I could. I do remember thinking terminally ill people should have the right to die by assisted suicide. It isn't right to force someone to live out the rest of their days in pain, knowing they have no chance of surviving it anyway... they don't do that to dogs or cats, they euthanize them.
 
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C

chloramine

Mage
Apr 18, 2022
505
I didn't really think about it I believe? It's hard to remember. I first clearly remember wanting to die when I was 10 and I don't think I was really exposed to it before then? Maybe in media somewhere, but I was definitely never viscerally horrified by the idea or anything.
 
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MeltingBrain

MeltingBrain

Mage
May 29, 2023
592
I first clearly remember wanting to die when I was 10 and I don't think I was really exposed to it before then?
Did you ever find out why you felt that way at such a young age ?
 
C

chloramine

Mage
Apr 18, 2022
505
Did you ever find out why you felt that way at such a young age ?
My family wasn't great and my brother who was the most important person in my life was moving. Him leaving was the trigger, but looking back it was the one thing too much not the thing that caused it. There's a large family history of depression and dysfunction of varying types so I was probably genetically predisposed in some way and my environment didn't do anything to combat that.
 
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getfree05

getfree05

Member
Jul 3, 2023
39
I was suicidal from a really young age but I saw some people who were against it but got suicidal , like they would get in alot of arguments with me and tell me how selfish I'm for thinking this way but yea now they know how it feels
 
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MiraiShisen

MiraiShisen

Student
Jun 15, 2023
175
I was always afraid of it, because you have to go through serious shit to do it, just this one thing is enough. I did not understand why people do it when I was younger because I just was not aware how things can go wrong to push people to do it. Its just sad part of life.
 
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E

Elliana Berriana

Member
Jun 10, 2023
23
I understood why people commit suicide to some extent, and I thought no one should have to suffer so much that they didn't want to live, but I also thought people having such thoughts should seek help, and shouldn't take their own lives. I still think that to some extent, but I understand suicide and the reasons behind it a lot more, and why someone would not want to get help. Suicide isn't the answer to anyone's problems, but sometimes, people can't find another answer.
 
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Nervosomnifer

Nervosomnifer

I wish I wasn't born a linear human
Jul 6, 2023
9
I was religious and my confession kept me in check.. Everything seemed so simple, so black and white. Suicide was a straight road to hell, while suffering seemed to be a necessity, a key to eternal bliss. You just had to believe, simple as that..

Hah, turns out that forcing belief onto you once you change is nigh impossible. It's sentimental, visceral. As soon as I lost grasp onto faith, everything just spiraled down into madness and desperation, out of control. I just couldn't "feel" the confidence the same way. Don't think that I can return to my faith ever again..even though such simple outlook on the world really is the only solution other than cessation of life to my situation..
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,131
I know that I've never really wished to exist here, I've always found comfort in death as I very strongly believe we just cease existing and to me that's true peace. As soon as I was aware of what suicide is, it was always understandable to me why people would choose to leave, I could never understand those who actually wish to exist here, wishing for non-existence is all I know.
 
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cgrtt.brns

cgrtt.brns

wandering ghost (he/him)
Apr 19, 2023
841
i never thought about it bc i was suicidal before i even knew what suicide was
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,618
I always thought of it as something that I would never do, but some people(like myself) are not psychologically prepared for extreme and sudden loss
 
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Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Arcanist
May 10, 2023
452
I always thought it was a possibility for me and was fascinated by any cases I read about. I romanticized it as an adolescent, especially since some of my favorite poets had ctb.
 
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B

Badatlove

Member
Dec 4, 2019
21
I tought I understanded people that did ctb, and I would also like doing it one day maybe if I would get to much pain.. Thats kinda the first memory I have about it And memories of always being fascinated by it.
 
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aticeret

aticeret

Member
Jan 23, 2023
29
I don't remember the time when I wasn't suicidal.
 
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Parasitic

Parasitic

Tew
Jun 16, 2023
34
Before I was suicidal I lived in some stupid candy land so whenever I thought about it I just questioned "why would anyone want to kill themselves, I don't understand why people would not want to have sweets or enjoy video games" then when I had my eyes opened and realized how much of a hell hole we live in mixed with different issues that happened throughout my life led me to think why didn't I CTB before
 
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LifeisDark

LifeisDark

Member
Jul 5, 2023
20
When I was younger, and before I had ever considered the idea of CTB, I was deeply religious, being brought up in a fundamentalist Baptist Church and the Mennonite Faith, suicide was considered one of the most taboo things you could do. It was instant hell for you if you did that, because how dare you want to take your life when God himself gave it to you. All life is special and all that wonderful absolute bullshit. But then I grew up, and I saw the world for what it is. A dark, empty void where suffering is guaranteed and true pleasure is for those that can buy it.
 
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MeltingBrain

MeltingBrain

Mage
May 29, 2023
592
When I was younger, and before I had ever considered the idea of CTB, I was deeply religious, being brought up in a fundamentalist Baptist Church and the Mennonite Faith, suicide was considered one of the most taboo things you could do. It was instant hell for you if you did that, because how dare you want to take your life when God himself gave it to you. All life is special and all that wonderful absolute bullshit. But then I grew up, and I saw the world for what it is. A dark, empty void where suffering is guaranteed and true pleasure is for those that can buy it.
I was religious and my confession kept me in check.. Everything seemed so simple, so black and white. Suicide was a straight road to hell, while suffering seemed to be a necessity, a key to eternal bliss. You just had to believe, simple as that..

Hah, turns out that forcing belief onto you once you change is nigh impossible. It's sentimental, visceral. As soon as I lost grasp onto faith, everything just spiraled down into madness and desperation, out of control. I just couldn't "feel" the confidence the same way. Don't think that I can return to my faith ever again..even though such simple outlook on the world really is the only solution other than cessation of life to my situation..
Yikes ! Pure evil what people are indoctrinated with . Sorry for both of you .
 
vitbar

vitbar

Escaped Lunatic
Jun 4, 2023
363
Pro-choice for all adults. Still I find the idea of doing it without illness uncomfortable, but ultimately stand by it being a right.
 
todiefor

todiefor

Will I build an ark or continue drowning at sea?
Jun 24, 2023
474
I'm ashamed to say now, but before this I thought suicide wouldn't never happen to me, and I think I was raised to believe it's selfish and cowardly and cruel to their loved ones. But I also did always believe that it is everyone's individual choice and we shouldn't judge harshly, I can't imagine anyone just ctb without having suffered tremendously and thought of the consequences. I also did always feel sad and sad for their loved ones.

But now it's me. Shit happens in life and I can't handle it
 
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A

ares0027

Member
Apr 11, 2023
58
When it comes to religion, sex, gender, life, or anything really, my motto is "if they are hurting absolutely noone (excluding themselves) AND aware of the outcomes and accepting responsibility in a calm manner, who the fuck am i to decide or even comment on their choice?"
 
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L

leavingsoon99

I'm at peace... Finally.
Mar 16, 2023
722
I've been suicidal since I was around 8. At least thought of not existing. Before that? I really don't know how I felt about life.
 
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